Parenting a foster child is a very big responsibility for a couple who decides on this step. The fact is that upbringing in a foster family, first of all, implies comfortable psychological conditions for the baby. In the case when the upbringing in the foster family is from the infant age, the problems are much less. But when they take a little man already at a conscious age, then foster parents need to make a lot of efforts to make him feel in their new family.
Adoption decision on adoption
Therefore, before taking on the upbringing, in the family everyone should unanimously decide that they really want to accept the child. If there is a disagreement in the foster family about this - a child will feel the tension in the sauce. Education in a foster family implies that parents should have special qualities, and, most importantly, a lot of patience, love and care. It must be remembered that children, often come from boarding schools, so their upbringing is completely different from what is given in families. Parents should be prepared for the emotional difficulties that can be observed in the foster child. Until the appearance in the foster family, these children are seriously lacking attention. The worst thing about their fragile psyche is the absence of the mother. It has long been proven that children who do not grow up in the family may lag behind in development. The fact is that the most developed, calm, emotionally balanced children are those who from childhood were surrounded by maternal warmth. But the inmates of the orphanage do not have all this. Therefore, in the foster family, first of all, it is constantly necessary to prove to the child that he can trust his parents, rely on them. Of course, this can not happen immediately. A child can get used to his new parents for a long time, avoid them, experience moral difficulties in approaching them.
Pedagogy for foster parents
Remember that the difficult nature of the child was formed because of being in the orphanage. So do not be angry and offended. Remember that you are adults who have grown up in a totally different world. To raise such a child, it is necessary not to condemn him, but to understand. And, of course, parents should be guided by the basic pedagogical laws, which we will talk about further.
For example, earlier it was believed that moralizing is the main pedagogical method. However, it has long been proven that few children, especially difficult ones, respond adequately to morals. Most often, they argue, contradict or simply ignore. And there are cases when, after moralizing conversations, children, on the contrary, begin to do spitefully to their parents and do the opposite of what was said in moralizing. Therefore now many teachers refuse this method. But this does not mean that you do not need to talk with the child and explain to him how to behave in certain situations. Simply you need to speak so that the child hears you. Therefore, first of all, be guided by his age. For example, if a young child of primary school age, then a moralizing story, can be turned into an interesting tale that will carry a certain meaning and explain how to behave, and what not to do. If you need to talk with a teenager, then talk to him as an adult, equal to a person, in no case using an edifying tone. In this case, the child will not feel that he is small and unintentional for you, there will be more chances that the teenager will think, because he will feel himself an independent person.
And the last thing you should always remember is your emotions. Children from orphanages are more difficult to endure screaming and rude words. Therefore, try to behave with restraint and never even hint that he is not your own. If the child is always sure that he is truly loved, trusted and considered to be a native, eventually he will learn to listen, understand and perceive all your decrees and advice.