In adolescence, most people believe that they can change a completely different person. But, practice shows that it is not easy. Psychologists say that it is impossible to tailor a person to their many fantasies and desires.
Many people know the expression - love is blind, which is why a person often immerses himself in his vivid feelings with his head, while he does not notice at all that a sympathetic person is his antipode. Love is capable of very much, is capable of doing miracles, but not to such an extent. Do not take as a model a similar situation, which could well develop in someone of your friends. Nobody will give you a guarantee that future relations will be ideal.Tell yourself in time "stop" and think whether you need to enter into a serious relationship with the one you want to remake. Most likely, such relations with time will deteriorate. Harmonious relations are those relationships that do not require artificial change from either a woman or a man, they happen by themselves. After all, there is a difference when there is a rush from one's own inner motives, and quite another thing is when you are forced to do something.
The desire to change your chosen one in some way has a direct bearing on any personal story. Let's confess, we dream of an ideal partner, and the image of our parents is stored somewhere in our children's subconscious. Anyone of us will be comfortable with a person next to whom we will be free to do some of our usual activities, to feel familiar feelings, which is why our choice often falls on the model of adult behavior that we know from childhood. If you start a global transformation, even if it is successful at first, as a result you can be very disappointed and lose all interest in your partner, because something that is necessary in it will disappear. Therefore, the conclusion is one - carefully work on yourself.
Criticism - a thing, of course, is not bad, but it is aimed at the behavior of a person, not on himself, or his personality. Agree, do not scatter things, wherever you can learn it is much easier than, say, from silent to transform a person into an interesting and intelligent interlocutor. All the ideals of a person must be learned to appreciate, even if they do not like you at all. Such a concept as a person's personal space is simply necessary for us, otherwise any person will simply simply break down over time.
It's easiest for any of us to complain about our partner. This position is convenient - there is no need to change your behavior. Most wives are often dissatisfied with the fact that their beloved husbands do not want to do anything around the house, but as soon as the husband takes in hand, say, a hammer, they immediately snatch him out of his hands and are accused of inability. Probably, in my heart, many of us do not want the partner to change radically: we simply are afraid to lose our power over him. Very convenient role of the critic - this model of behavior is beneficial, because you can always find the cause of discontent.
Here are the addictive habits of one of the partners - this is quite another matter. For example, drunkenness or simply a fanatical infatuation with various computer games can often destroy even the strongest relationships. But do not try to solve the problem, with the help of blackmail. Better try to show the partner that his lifestyle frightens and depresses you, so you can try to awaken in him an interest in any activity, while adjusting his life.
Everyone should see the results and understand the meaning of the work done on themselves. We can not close our partner in the golden cage of our own ideals. Internal personal growth in a person occurs in its own way to a specific schedule. Help in this matter can the power of love, which is able to with time, with diligence to change for the better the life of two lovers.