The man in the relationship takes the lead. A woman is usually known. She relies on everything on her man, trusts him, allows him to make important decisions and influence his own life. Over time, this trust either grows stronger, enriching the relationship with love and wisdom, or becomes a complete dependence on the male manipulator who uses it for self-assertion, psychological violence and emotional aggression. And not necessarily a man is socially disadvantaged - an alcoholic, a drug addict, a rapist. Morally, to destroy and destroy can be quite decent, trustworthy and adequate with a kind of partner. What signs in a man's behavior indicate his devastating effect on a woman?
- Comparison. Comparison, even the most inoffensive and that which is veiled by humor, implies humiliation and aggression. A man can compare you with his mother (her mother tastes better, her mother is more economical, her mother is always inferior to the pope), with former women (one was a clever mistress, the other always let go to friends) or with other women (the wife of the chef is your age, and the neighbor is slimmer). He will always find and set as an example that woman whose behavior, character or beauty, eloquently hints at your imperfection. You will only have to read between the lines: "I do not love you! You do not represent anything from yourself, and you must always feel and know your place, which is below the baseboard! "
- Prohibition to communicate with friends. This is nothing but violence and restriction of the rights to freedom of choice. A man, of course, can call it love, in which there is only room for two, or guard you from near-minded girlfriends ("They're all fools and they'll teach you bad!") And anxious male friends ("They need only one thing from you! "). But here it is worth pondering. The categorical unwillingness to divide his woman with other people (and especially when it comes to friends, relatives or colleagues) gives out in the man of the owner who took the right to dispose of someone else's life. They are led rather not by love, but by the desire to control, control and manipulate without interference from close people who can enlighten a woman about her voluntary slavery.
- Depreciation. The man multiplies by zero all your achievements and merits. Your work seems to him an entertainment for preschoolers, and rapid promotion became possible only because your career ladder was an escalator for the lazy. He depreciates your economic abilities, fanning the slightest blunder and blaming the curvature: "What else could you expect from a woman who even has a cactus withered!" And your hobby also seems to him a waste of time, money and his nervous system. He will never admit that you are the best in your business, because in that case he will have to allow you to be an individual or recognize your own worthlessness on your background. A person who knows his own worth is very difficult to manage.
- Pathological jealousy. The stereotype imposed by the society "a man is jealous, therefore, likes or is afraid to lose" is an evil joke. Anyone who has experienced the terror of a jealous man will never put love and jealousy on a par with him. A man is jealous not when he loves, but when he is afraid that he will not be loved. And this uncertainty does not give him or you peace. Therefore, if your slightest delay at work is equated with treason, and a casual meeting with a friend on the street - an excuse for the husband to send you to a lie detector, you know, this is not love. It's hate. Husband hates you for doubting yourself, for being afraid of competition and for what you can learn about the existence of other truly loving men.
- Imposing a sense of guilt. A sense of guilt is the most destructive and destructive thing in the world. To be always guilty, therefore, to be always intimidated, uncertain and obligated. Of course, it is very convenient for a man-manipulator to control the "eternal victim" and feel his imaginary importance and significance. The imposed wine breaks the will and turns a woman into a lamb, which will always seek punishment from the hands of its shepherd, because this is how our psyche is arranged - for any guilt there must be a payment. And no matter if you are guilty or not, you get used to making excuses for every step you take, asking for permission and looking in the eyes of your master, in search of approval of perfect deeds and even thoughts. If you do not stop making excuses and do not take the right to be right, slavish psychology and unconditional obedience will be your lot.
- He is always right. Such a man has only two opinions: his and the wrong. Accordingly, a constructive dialogue (and even more a fair dispute for the sake of truth) will not work with him. Whatever happens, only he is right. Even if his mistakes are obvious, to recognize them is beneath his dignity. But is it a man who humiliates the weak and uses it to seem stronger, meaningful, better? Such a man is hard to please. Everything he does will give in to ruthless criticism, and will force him to remodel: hair to repaint, wallpaper to re-paste, child to re-educate, etc. Criticism will not be categorically tolerated by the man. It is perfect, which means that you will always have to change, repaint, retrain, rebuild to match it.