Your boyfriend did not forget the former: what to do?

You meet a guy who recently broke up with your girlfriend, and feel that the "ghost" of this love prevents you from building a full-fledged relationship? Do you often find yourself thinking that the guy compares you to the former, closes in himself, zealously stores some secrets and gets annoyed when you try to bring him to a frank conversation? Well, congratulations! You became a member of the classical love triangle. But you do not have to put up with this and you have every right to have an honest relationship. What to do if a guy can not forget the former? How can one understand that he has not really experienced the previous love, and how can he help him get rid of this dependence in order to take the main place in his heart?

True signs that the guy did not forget the former

By itself, each of these characteristics does not mean that the guy has given you the place of a "spare airfield", but if at least three of them you found in your relationship, sound alarm.

• The guy often speaks the name of the former. If the name of a girl from the past does not come off the lips of your boyfriend (constantly mentions in conversations, pronounces her name with tenderness, dreamily attached to memories or accidentally calls you by her name), be sure he has not let her go yet.
• The guy compares you to the former. Even if these comparisons are not in its favor, do not rush to enjoy the fact that you are really better. He can thus try to devalue the former in his own eyes to convince himself that there is nothing to love.
• The guy keeps gifts and things of the former. When a man does not value previous relationships, then things that connect him with the past do not represent any value for him. Therefore, if a guy carefully keeps a sweater tied up by a former girl or never takes off the golden pendant presented to her, he is not ready to part with the memory of her.
• The guy is jealous of the former. The news that a new man has appeared in her life, your boyfriend experiences very emotionally, equating the event with a personal apocalypse? Do not doubt, subconsciously, he still considers her his, and is not going to share the beloved with other men.

• The guy thinks the former was his best friend. It's okay if he congratulates the ex-girlfriend on his birthday or he will receive a congratulatory SMS from her. But if, starting a relationship with you, he insists that his former beloved will continue to be an important part of his life, think, is it more important for you?
• The guy hides from you friendly encounters with the former. If he is forced to see her at work, in a company of mutual friends, etc., and you know about it, there is no cause for concern. But if you caught a guy in secret meetings with the former, it seems that he is playing a double game and, perhaps, is building up old bridges.
• The guy is actively involved in the life of the former. He can not refuse her help, and these screams of "sos" ex-girls become obscene to obscene? Be vigilant, most likely, the former does not intend to give you a loved one. And if he does not stop these encroachments, the desire is mutual.
• The guy does not introduce you to his close environment. If a loved one carefully tries to hide you from his parents and friends, it is possible that he does not want your relatives to know about your relationship, because he still hopes to return the former girl.

What if the guy did not forget the ex-lover?

Tip 1. Be the queen. Do not descend to humiliating scenes of jealousy and dirty showdowns. Do not take the path of rivalry with the "ghost" of your girlfriend's ex-girlfriend. This is a battle with windmills, which you will surely lose. Calmly ignore any emotions of the guy on his ex. It is for you an empty place. Translate such conversations into the mainstream of your relationship, and do not poison them with interrogations and suspicions. Tip 2. Do not settle for humiliating compromises. If a guy can not close the door to past relationships, and invites you to suffer, wait or allow him to be friends and see the former, do not agree. So you encourage treason and become a member of the love triangle. The beloved should prioritize, and clearly determine where he is with her or with you. Nothing good from its prolonged uncertainty will not work. Tip 3. Do not make yourself jealous and guilty. The fact that a guy can not decide does not mean that you are worse than his former or not good enough for him. Do not compare yourself with it and do not let it. In any case, you are unique and should not be like anyone else. Take the guy out for a frank conversation and tell me how you feel when he keeps in touch with the ex-girlfriend.

Tip 4. Check the feelings. If your boyfriend vows that he is your forever, and the former is far in the past, but still sometimes looks in her direction, suggest checking your feelings and making sure that his intentions are sincere. Disperse at the time, maintaining friendly relations. This will help your guy decide who he wants to be with. If not with you, well, then he is not your man. Do not waste your precious time on someone else's. Tip 5. Help your loved one to forget the former. All that is required of you is to remain yourself, and not try to become a copy of his ex. And if he honestly wants to forget it, and you see it, help him. Take his time space so that he would no longer have time to think and painfully experience the break. Fill his life with new colors, emotions, joys. Create an atmosphere around yourself. A man can be kept only by the state of happiness, which only you are able to create. Tip 6. Be resolute. If all conversations, arguments and requests remain unheard of your boyfriend, and he still secretly or frankly maintains a relationship with his ex-girlfriend, act categorically. Do not get involved in a triangle, naively hoping that soon it will pass and he will understand that with you he is better. Let go. Let now he compares it with you. And you just become happy: engage in self-development, learn to love and respect yourself. But only to anyone but yourself, do not prove anything. Let happiness speak in your eyes for you.