In seeking an answer to the question about what men value most in women, we are guided by our female logic, because we simply do not have the other. Hence a heap of the same type of advice, based on ingrained stereotypes, that allegedly give men such a Merlin Monroe, combining the qualities of a relentless mistress who never has a headache, the ability to always be a young and beautiful lioness, an unsurpassed culinary and selfless nun. But do men really consider such qualities the most important value of women?
You can find out the truth only in one way - to listen to the men themselves. True, for the purity of the experiment, they will not have to be interviewed, but to eavesdrop. This, though not very ethical, but the answers of men about the most valuable female qualities will be as honest as possible. To confirm or deny the preferences of men we will ask psychologists. They know exactly what men want and what to do in order to always remain the greatest value for them. So, let's single out four female qualities, which men in the course of research have called the most valuable, and of which you did not think or even suspected:- The ability of a woman to allow a man to remain himself A man is willing to forgive a woman an imperfect appearance or lack of culinary talents, but he will never appreciate her good desire to fashion from him, as she seems, a new, improved version of the ideal man. Trying to change a man, "reshape" his character, forbid to be himself - the right way to destroy relationships. A man wants to know that he was loved the way he is, and he will not have to pretend, wear masks and play roles.
- Ability to concede and find compromises The desire to be always right does not make a woman in the eyes of a smart man. Of course, truth is born in disputes, but, constantly proving its rightness, a woman begins to act as a dominant in relations and takes over the role of leader. Strong, self-confident men much more appreciate women's wisdom, the ability to concede and offer compromises. And this is one of the main female trump cards, which allows, without insisting on one's own, still to win.
- Ability to sincerely praise and thank. Men as children, the more they praise, encourage and inspire, the more they strive to match the created image and the assigned hopes. Conversely, constant criticism, discontent or blame, give rise to a rebellion and a spirit of contradiction in the minds of men. Men appreciate women who know how to appreciate them and are able to induce them to act through sincere praise and gratitude.
- Ability to be happy. Many men complain that women seek to find a man who will make them happy, relieve depression or solve financial problems. Such women can be pitied, listened, supported, but men fall in love with happy women who know how to rejoice, carry positive things and harmonize with the world around them. Happy and in love with their own lives, women in the eyes of men are already valuable in themselves.
Men's logic: why men appreciate women?
Men approach everything from a logical point of view, using calculation and pragmatism. Even if it's love! And they evaluate women literally mathematically, although they do not always clearly realize this. A woman for a man is of value if he:- It puts its resources into it. The more a man puts into a woman material assets, mental strength, energy, time and imagination, the more valuable it is in his eyes. And how! He gives a lot and gives himself to his "project", and very much appreciates these costs. It is difficult not to love your hard work. That's a little selfish and prudently arranged male love. Psychologist's advice:
- Never give up gifts and do not let a man save on himself.
- Allow to take care of yourself in any little things and encourage the initiative of a man to help you.
- Encourage the man to spend time on you and sometimes make yourself wait.
- See certainty. Men acquire and attach themselves to things that allow them to feel comfortable with them, confidently and predictably. In this sense, a woman for them in some way is a "thing" from which they want to get a stable and definite future. For a woman it is an opportunity to create a man's dependence on himself and on the spiritual and material comfort that she can give him. Psychologist's advice:
- Show the man the benefits that he will receive when he agrees to your idea or proposal.
- Share his interests and become for him an interlocutor, co-author or an accomplice in his favorite pursuits.
- Never doubt your man, do not criticize and do not put ultimatums!
- Gets a multifaceted emotional feedback. With a woman who tries in every possible way to please a man, to keep silent about conflicts and to be in everything compliant, it is very convenient, but deadly boring. Such a woman will not be appreciated. A man will appreciate the one who knows how to give emotions, forces to soar and fall, is capricious, if necessary, but remains important and wise in important matters. In other words, with a woman he wants to experience the whole gamut of emotions, because "the stars are better visible in the dark sky". Psychologist's advice:
- Allow something that was previously taboo and forbid something that has always been freely available.
- Surprise, please, anger, provoke and allow yourself and the man emotions that make the relationship alive and bright.
- Be capricious, demand, insist, quarrel, but do it loving and always leave room for compromises.
- Afraid to lose. The fear of loss is driven by the evolution of relationships. And to a greater extent it concerns men, because their hunting nature guides instincts to achieve, conquer, conquer. And if the extraction woman gets easily and without much difficulty, there is nothing to appreciate. A man is fed up with accessibility and is not afraid to lose, one that is always predictable and obsessive to the cloy. Psychologist's advice:
- Do not exclude other men from your life. The more near you male interest, the higher he is with your lover.
- Periodically allow yourself to skip calls of your man, ignore sms, sometimes be out of the access zone, even if you have been married for a hundred years.
- Appreciate the man's feats and deeds, admire the worthy actions of other men's, so that your man had something to strive for.