How many times has this happened to you - you will mourn at work because of the cry of the headmistress, you will argue with colleagues and the furious one will jump out of the room, slamming the door? Certainly not once. At some point, we no longer restrain ourselves and give vent to emotions. But from time to time beating over the edge of the negative can not only seriously complicate the peaceful existence of the team, but, in the end, lead to parting with him. Mindful anger, tears, screams, notorious slamming of doors - all this spoils our career, our mood and, if you think about it, it poisons life as a whole. But, even realizing the pernicious nature of incontinence, we are often unable to cope with it, because the emotions of most of us "run" a few steps ahead. Weep or scream, we realize: were wrong, and instead of relief, on the contrary, only aggravated the stress and made new troubles. Of course, we immediately promise ourselves that we will never do more of this, but in a couple of days everything repeats again and again. How to be? You will be surprised how really it is simple - to learn to control the manifestation of negative emotions in the workplace. With such a serious and seemingly unsolvable problem, one can successfully cope with the help of several simple psychological self-control techniques, which are easy and, most importantly, absolutely necessary for each of us to learn. Let's try!
Tears-stop!
"I'm already exhausted, I always have eyes in a wet place," says Marina (25), an employee of the secretariat of a large company. "I have not had this before, but it's been almost six months now that I have not jumped all the way from room in the toilet, where no one will see that I'm crying again. But in fact everyone knows - we have a large team, you can not hide anything, and, according to rumors, in the office, I've already been called by the eyes of Plakso. Tears at work - a very common, typically female problem, to cope with which is sometimes much more difficult than with an annual report or an urgent business project. Tears never arise from scratch. Even if you cry like all the time on different occasions, sincerely believing: today it happened because of the rude word of the boss, and yesterday - the computer did not keep an important document, over which she worked all day. In fact, the cause of your tears is one. It is extremely important to find it and, if possible, eliminate it. Awareness of the true causes will help to cope with the situation. When Ira told the psychologist in detail about the changes that have occurred in their office recently, it became clear: the main reason for her excessive emotionality is banal overwork and, as a result, constant stress. "Six months ago, we greatly reduced staff, I was charged with a double amount of work. I struggle with all my problems with great difficulty, I constantly sit up late, always worry that I can not get to the right time. Being heavily inundated with work, the girl, very responsible, without realizing herself, is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and unrestrained tears for any reason - a very disturbing bell. She needs to discuss the situation with the authorities and reasonably lower the workload. As for "quick tricks", here they are. If you feel: tears on the way, the main thing is not to allow yourself to plunge into the experience of what is happening. Start to breathe a little faster than usual, but not deep: such breathing reveals emotions and feelings, and superficial, on the contrary, weakens them, which is necessary in this case. If you have a cup of tea or water at hand, drink it in small sips, counting each. And load yourself into doing something, only one that has nothing to do with the situation that has upset you.
Speak quietly
"No, it's true, well, sometimes there are simply no forces - how can you be so stupid? - exclaims turmenager Luda (34). "I understand everything, people do not have to understand charter flights, but you can fill in the usual questionnaire correctly!" - Lyudmila almost screams. Her problem is fundamentally different from Irina - Luda does not have an overload, no one offends or attacks her. Smart, organized, very speedy in business, she really risks losing her favorite work because of incontinence: Lyudmila regularly clashes with the agency's clients. Complaints are written about her, and the headmistress has already unequivocally stated: "You will not stop scandals with visitors - the dismissal". "Anger often makes us raise our voices, making them harsh, rude, which is absolutely unacceptable neither in the workplace nor in private life. And it is especially inappropriate for such behavior with people, on which the success of work depends directly. And since Luda's problem lies in incontinence, she first of all needs to learn how to respect customers. Each person has a speed of perception and processing of information, and a different intellectual level. If you are not ready to tolerate this and treat such a thing tolerantly - do not work with people. As an "emergency aid" Lyudmila can be advised: when you feel that "boil" in the workplace, quickly leave the room and discharge from other people's eyes. Anger is a "high-calorie" emotion, so physical activity is effective for its regulation. So, if there is an opportunity, ascend the stairs to three or four floors, jump on one leg, do a few sit-ups. At worst, walk quickly along the corridor. Replace anger with movement.
Attention to yourself
The story of Asya (21), the personal assistant of the head of a small producer center, pleases with completeness - and with a happy ending. I came to this job right after school, and I was very attracted by the creative atmosphere in our company, the ease of the colleagues' relationships, "Asya says. - Regardless of age and position, we all refer to each other by name. At first it was very pleasant, but it quickly became clear that informality has its drawbacks. My boss Igor did not hold back at all about me - when I came across a hand, I could yell at him to "lower steam" if he did not have a day. There began some contrived nit-picking, he changed directions several times, and then swore that I could not understand his demands at all. " As a result, Asya experienced an emotional negative under the full program. And, not being able to throw out irritation at his source - the boss, the girl came home and broke away from her relatives, getting anything for her parents and brother. Eventually, as soon as she got comfortable at work, Asya stopped holding back and, in front of her colleagues, pointedly slammed the door, threw the folder with the documents on the chief's desk, snorted, rolled her eyes when he gave her some business. "You know, I just grew bolder, I realized that no one will fire me, so I began to behave like my boss," says Asya, "but, strangely enough, it did not change anything: Igor seemed not to notice my obviously causing behavior. Apparently, I just became the same as he. Work, these "explosions" did not interfere in any way, but they became very bad for their personal life. The habit of vigorously expressing anger so firmly entered my life that I realized: I will just stay a little longer without friends. " Realizing the problem, Asya began to seek a way out - the shortest psychological training in managing emotions turned out to be the best. "These activities helped me a lot, although there were not many of them at all. I stepped back from the situation and realized that the chief with his hysterics, in effect, behaves like a child who is not able to control behavior. And since he always respected me as a professional, I did not want to leave work at all, I mentally called him an artist (and they are also big children) and began to behave with him as an adult, condescendingly and with a smile accepting all his antics. " Curiously, having changed the manner of communicating with colleagues at work, Asya not only reanimated relations with friends and relatives, but also managed to quench the boiling of the boss - he became much calmer and more benevolent. Asya is a very clever woman, even surprising that the young girl has so correctly developed a style of behavior at work, in the team. You can not allow negative emotions to destroy life. If irritation from the service you bring home - immediately take action. Close people should be protected, sometimes even from us. But what to do, how to establish order in relations with the authorities - a difficult question, and most often it is difficult to understand yourself. If you do not want to give up work, but you want to get rid of constant stress due to communication with the leadership, turn to professionals: psychologists, coaches, who will help to analyze what is happening, draw the right conclusions and work out the right way to build relationships in the team. " Instant help to yourself in case of violent negative emotions - switching attention. Intellectual activity can become an antidote. If you are in sight and in no case should not give out your emotional state, use the following recommendations. Start thinking in your mind, repeat the multiplication table. You can switch your attention from emotions to the sensations: take a deep breath at the expense of 2-3, and exhale at 7-8. Necessarily through the nose. Try to set a personal record for the duration of exhalation. "
Asin experience is a brilliant example of psychological self-help. With negative emotions at work, you can and should be able to cope. And the simple tips given above will certainly help. But it is always necessary to dig up to the cause of your tears or anger. Emotions can arise due to incontinence (as in Luda), but more complex reasons (as in Ira and Asya) are possible. The stress caused by them will accumulate, lead to great psychological disruptions. In this case, you should turn to business trainers or counselor psychologists to learn how to work with your own mind. And it, as you know, works wonders!