How to find the golden mean? How to instill discipline in children, so as not to overdo it? Our article will be devoted to this. To begin with, let's find out why it is necessary to instill discipline in children, whatever that is? In the end, there are no people completely similar to each other, there are in the world and full of dusk, but they live, like, and even often are quite satisfied with themselves. "But no!" - contradict psychologists.
There are at least a couple of reasons why it is necessary to instill discipline and accuracy in children. First, the observance of order is developing. It is proved that the child's thinking consists in such a way that it develops by regulating everything that only gets in the field of vision. In the event that he stably observes disorder around himself, then his formation slows down. Secondly, one must learn to live in a civilized society. During your life, your child will have to face many times in situations where it is necessary to exist side by side with other people. Sometimes, he himself will be irritated by the norms of order and discipline that were not instilled in childhood. Since in an adult it already happens at the level of instinct, and it will be very difficult for your child to take the necessary elementary skills of observance of order.
Bringing up, parents from small years are obliged to impart to children discipline norms.
Tips for the easiest and easiest upbringing.
When giving the order to do something, you must formulate the sentence in a way that does not seem to be an order. For example: "I need your help. Be kind, take your shoes off the door, please. " The main point in the given situation is the request for help.
Tell the children well in advance that they should prepare for the indicated occupation (for example, for dinner) in five minutes.
Give children the maximum number of options to choose from. In case they do not go to dinner table, inform the children that they have a choice when they come up: after two minutes or three. If they deliberately provoke and test your patience, do not give an agreement to change these opportunities. But, if, the children offer an alternative, which is quite permissible, then when asked if they can come to dinner then how to clean the toys, be sure to give consent to this.
Each time, let the children understand and explain clearly why you need this or that task to be carried out.
Give them only one order for a set period of time so that they do not feel confused and are not overwhelmed by an excessively large number of assignments.
Talk with your child.
Talking with children should always be respectful. Let them together with you appreciate bad and good deeds. Your conversation should not take the form of persuasion, you have only to push the child to the idea that he himself draws conclusions. Also, try to teach your child to make decisions about actions or inactions in all sorts of situations.
Under no circumstances, under any circumstances, do not humiliate the children!
Argumented explain to children why in each specific case it is necessary to act in a certain way, and not otherwise. But at the same time, watch what you say, explanations like "because I want so much" or "because it's so necessary" weakly, and maybe they will not convince the child at all. Many children do not tolerate orders and can simply start to stay away from communicating with you.
Confidential conversations, conviction, dialogues on an equal footing, will always help you to gain authority from a child.
Do not use a decoy tone. Always keep your promises.
In a conversation with the children, discuss together what they will have to take retaliatory measures for their unflattering behavior. For example, say: "You have a way of throwing things around the house, and I must always step over them. What will we do with this? Perhaps you yourself will offer me a solution, what should I do if you do not clean your things? "Having reached mutual agreement, in the future, without departing from the principles, keep the agreement reached together.
Do not miss the moment and notice when your children are doing well, do not forget to praise them for responding to your expectations. For example. You can say "I'm very glad that you ..." or "It's great that you ...".
Keep the situation under control.
Try to simulate the situation so that the child reproduces the expected behavior pattern: "Sasha, it's bad to walk around the room in street shoes. Show me, please, how to act in this case. " The child takes off his shoes. "Thank you, I was sure that you could do it. That's better".
We advise you to get a stand with any figures (for example, asterisks, circles) or a schedule where notes on the proper behavior of the child will be made during the set time. At the same time, you must set a condition that when the number of these notes indicated by you is typed, the children can receive additional encouragement, for example, walking, traveling somewhere, or buying a toy that the child has wanted for a long time. This is a good, and long-tried method of control over behavior.
In no case, do not give up on your intention to impart discipline to children. Do not step back, even if you feel that you do not have enough forces to carry out the plans for the self-organization of children. In the opposite case, children will quickly realize that they absolutely do not need to follow the rules, because they change all the time.
These tips are effective if you are yourself, observing the order in the house, and show maximum concentration and neatness. The opinion about discipline can be formed even on small things: if something is taken, put it in its place, or always close everything you have opened before. Only control over oneself and the child will help achieve the desired results.