How to part with a man: 5 bad and 5 good ways to end a relationship

Everything has its beginning and its end. This, unfortunately, also concerns such concepts dear to the heart, like love, family, marriage. Former lovers are not immediately ready to accept the situation and recognize mutual blame. So the human psyche is arranged, that the burden of responsibility is to be shifted, divided or disposed of by denial. Hence the painful parting, and hatred, and the fierce hostility between once loving people.

Goodbye can and should be easy, psychologists are convinced. To complete a worthy relationship and remain friends or at least people who are grateful to each other for a joint little or big life, you will have to investigate the causes of the gap and find painless ways of parting. Professor of Psychology from the US Susan Whitbourne suggests considering the disintegration of relationships by comparing bad and good ways of parting. If the conclusions are made correctly, then at the place of the departed love will come at least mutual respect and gratitude.

The Four Main Causes of Parting

Family counselor Jasmine Diaz, relying on her rich experience in working with divorce, calls 5 main reasons for parting:

1. Fear of responsibility. Relationships are not only love, but also responsibility. If the partners avoid responsibility for the problems that arise, keep silent the conflicts and avoid the search for a constructive solution, the union will sooner or later disintegrate.
2. Fear of conflict. Relationships without "debriefing" are not able to develop. This is the direct path to their destruction. Finding a relationship - does not mean blaming and criticizing, but it means - talking and consciously, with an adult approach to seek the truth.
3. Lack of attention and care. In any relationship, a sense of euphoria and novelty is replaced by a feeling of comfort, and even the ordinary. People stop giving each other due attention and sincere care. It is difficult to maintain a relationship in which there is no place for romantic improvisations.
4. Lack of proximity. This is not just about sex, but also about sensuality, intimacy of souls, understanding and sincerity. People who cherish these values ​​and do not allow proximity to slide down to primitive physiology are doomed to happiness.

Five Bad Ways to Complete Relationships

1. Blaming myself for everything. Guilt is the most destructive feeling. It certainly will not help to part beautifully. Internal self-flagellation and a load of resentment against oneself will give rise to new problems. The victim's position will invariably attract punishment.
2. Blame the partner. The search for the guilty is not a way out. Wine passing, like a soccer ball between players, makes you defend and blame in response. And this is the worst foundation for a peaceful parting.
3. Leave in English. To disappear from relationships without explanation is dishonest and irresponsible. Everyone has the right to be certain and worthy of respect. And if it seems that this is not so, then you need to be decent at least out of respect for yourself.
4. To spy on the life of a former partner. Persecution, secret visits to social networks, calls or sms in a state of intoxication will not allow you to put an end to the relationship. A painful return to the past is more like masochism.
5. Pull into the parting of relatives and friends. In relations between the two there is no place for the arbitrators. Close people can help only by not interfering. Use children for the showdown, set up against the other parent - a prohibited reception. He makes his parents enemies and breaks the child's psyche.

Five actions to part with dignity

1. Moral preparation. In the rupture of relations sudden impulses are unacceptable. It is impossible to sever the connection, which lasted for a certain time, without pain. It is necessary to get used to changes and prepare gradually.
2. General responsibility. In any break, both partners are to blame equally. Parting is necessary to explain to the beloved what is not comfortable with it and do not forget to voice its possible mistakes.
3. A civilized arrangement. The decision to part is not yet a fait accompli. The process, as a rule, is delayed and it is better to immediately establish the rules of communication and commitment to each other after parting.
4. Decent care. The point put in the relationship is the door slammed behind the joint past. Do not justify yourself before friends and close memories of the grievances and bad qualities of a former partner.
5. Gratitude for the experience. All events, people, meetings and parting in life are not accidental. Any relationship is an invaluable experience on which future happiness depends. Sincere gratitude will be the best way to walk away with dignity.