Tikhonya

Not infrequently parents complain that their children do everything too slowly. Then it is noticed and peers, and in a kindergarten or school behind such children the nickname "quiet" is fixed. The child can be slow for various reasons, sometimes it can be corrected, and sometimes the child should be given the opportunity to act as he sees fit. Teachers and psychologists believe that not all tihonis are the same and parents should know why.

Problems with attention.

Sometimes slow children are not at all quiet, they just do not know how to concentrate their attention on one thing for a long time. This problem is more often faced by children of primary school age, when they are influenced by the increased workload at school. Children at this age are interested in enjoying life here and now, it is still difficult for them to do what seems boring or difficult for them, to make efforts. An ordinary child prefers to play, not to prepare lessons, and during boring classes to think about something. You can correct this situation.

For the beginning it is important to interest the child. Proper motivation is half the success. Teachers are advised to talk with the child about who he wants to be in the future, about what interesting things he would like to do when he grows up. He needs to explain the importance of the knowledge that he gets in school, to show the dependence of his dream on how much he will know and what he will learn in class. If the child understands that even boring mathematics is useful to him and helps to become, for example, an astronaut, his attention to this subject will be increased. In addition to the distant future of the child should be motivated and more accessible things - the pleasure of good grades, awards for diligence, some bonuses for success in studies.
In addition, with this type of tranquility should be engaged. You need to play games that train attention. For example, you can ask the child to try to memorize the order of words, numbers and repeat it, change something in his room and ask for changes. In the event that the efforts of parents do not help to learn how to keep the child as much as needed, the help of a child psychologist will be required.

Such a character.

The character store influences our behavior, so often the quiet ones do not justify the expectations of parents and teachers, because they simply can not act in any other way. These children need an individual approach, they need to be understood. Usually they are phlegmatic. They are distinguished by a low level of psychological activity, they are difficult to interest, it is difficult to persuade to do so, and not otherwise. Phlegmatic people seem indifferent, sluggish, even sick. But this is not so. Phlegmaticians experience the same emotions as all other people, but express them in their own way.

Therefore, before trying to remake the phlegmatic, you need to understand that it will be hard for him to give any changes. Such children are well occupied with themselves, can play for a long time with the same toy, rarely change their tastes and preferences. It seems that time flows for them in a different way. Teach such a child to do something faster can.

For example, if a child is slowly dressed, you just need to bring his skills to automatism. When he learns to fasten his shirt well, tie his shoelaces, pull up his unruly trousers, he will do it faster. If he does not know how to dress himself, then it will be almost impossible to wait for a result from him. The same goes for learning - to successfully master new skills, he needs to know the basics perfectly. The saying: "repetition is the mother of learning" is the rule for communicating with such children. A good way to control such a child is to give him tasks for a while. When he knows that he has only a few minutes left to solve the problem or to put on a coat, he will not be distracted by extraneous things, but focus on the result.

Internal problems.

Sometimes they are children who are in a difficult situation. Even children have stress and depression, only they are different from adults. Therefore, the activity of the child can change throughout life.
The child can be affected by the difficult situation in the family. Frequent quarrels of parents, inflated demands on the child, divorce can force him to act more slowly than usual. In such cases, the child prefers not to draw attention to himself, to isolate himself from adult problems, with which he can not cope.
If parents expect too much from a child, he can choose this behavior for fear of making a mistake or not. It is easier for him to stretch out the solution of the simplest tasks in order to delay the moment when he is again scolded. Children can not always understand and predict the reaction of adults, so frequent punishments can convince him that he will get a swig, regardless of whether he cope with the task or not.

Sometimes the reason that the child has become quieter may become malaise. If a child has something to hurt, he does not always say so, but will focus solely on the subject of his anxiety, so all other things he will do much more slowly.
To solve this problem simply, it is necessary to eliminate the reason for such behavior, then the child will be the same as before it became quieter.


If you think that your child is quiet, you should not give up and put a cross on it. Slow-running children can do nothing worse than coping with their duties, they can successfully learn and develop, but require a special approach. Sensitiveness and attention to the problems of the child, trust and the desire to help will be a guarantee that together you will cope with this.