But the young man, in the literal sense of these words, is now particularly important support for parents. If while he was a child, he needed care and love, now we need understanding, approval and unobtrusive explanation of what is happening to him and his world.
At this time in your child there is nothing permanent, hormonal storms change his body and hit the brain, which are ready to boil from the fact that the familiar and comfortable world somehow has ceased to be so. In a transitional age, a person finds himself - his "I", loyalty and loyalty, the ability to critically evaluate events and objects, and not rely blindly on the opinion of authorities are laid and developed.
Transitional age, what is it, what elements does it consist of?
First: it is emotional maturation.
Inside teenagers everything boils from different feelings and emotions, many of them until this moment he did not feel at all, and those that seem to be familiar get an unexpected, almost painful sharpness. The main one is a feeling of fear, sometimes not even realized.
Fear of not being like everyone else, not being weaker, that's why a teenager does not talk with peers about his problems. He is also afraid of blaming adults for a variety of reasons, so he, too, does not seek to talk with them. He tries to push them away as the cause of their fear.
The teenager begins to actively seek in the company of peers - after all, they are the same and help not to get out of the crowd, you can constantly look at what they are and how they used to copy behavior in childhood. But the world around him contains a lot of temptations, and without supervision of an adult the teenager naturally tries to try them.
The task of parents during this period is to look after their child, but not to have total control over him, it will only get worse. Do not read the notations, but calmly talk about what happens to him, explaining this and showing support.
Recognition of the fact of their sexual maturity.
This is a truly difficult process. The former child suddenly discovers a strange attraction to the opposite sex, I want to touch and see, to find out what they differ from it. But this can not be, this is condemned by adults, this is condemned by peers envious of courage. Hormones push him to adolescents of the opposite sex, I want something new and incomprehensible. And all around try to hide their fear and envy under the ridicule, which hurt very painfully. It is very important for a teenager to learn to criticize such attacks in his address, to learn to perceive criticism not as an excuse to stop the offender in the nose, but as an occasion to ponder.
Social maturation and exemption from parental care.
Among the same teenagers as he himself, your child is gradually moving from child copying behavior to an adult, independent behavioral model. He learns to be responsible for his actions and consciously make decisions and responsibilities. What used to be a game of responsibility now becomes the truth of life. Gradually, he comes out of the care of his parents and begins to live independently, with his mind.
Intellectual maturation and choice of profession.
In some far from perfect, often very painful moment a young man discovers that authorities can not be at all so that they do not need to follow blindly. That you need to check everything that they say "to authenticity", which you often need to think for yourself.
Gradually the teenager forms a stable circle of constant interests. Through him is the realization of his future profession. In the beginning, this is a throwing between various prestigious and highly paid, but then he finds his own.
And in conclusion - what is the age of transition? This is just one of the stages in the formation of a new person. One of the most recent, this is finding your child himself and self-reliance. This is the transformation of parents from an undeniable authority and almost a god into a friend. Or the enemy. It all depends on your sensitivity. Good luck.