Age-related fears are characterized by a certain orientation, so at the age of 1-4 months the child flinches from the sharp cold, light and sound; in 1.5 years the child is afraid of losing his mother, he follows her closely, not letting go of him a single step; in 3-4 years, children are afraid of the dark; 6-8 years of children scared the possibility of their own death, death of loved ones and relatives. This parent should be prepared to face the fears of his children in different periods of their lives.
The most common fear in children is the fear of the dark. At the age of 3-4 years, children have a fear of darkness, uncertainty, loneliness. But why is the child afraid of the dark? This is due to the development of his imagination and the ability to fantasize. In addition, children are afraid of the space that they can not control, and darkness, as a rule, prevents him from doing so. The child's brain can already create simple models of situations and calculate their variants, that's why they are scared by dark corners, niches, not illuminated spaces, potentially they can hide dangers. Very often children themselves can not even explain the cause of their fear, so parents should help the kid deal with this problem.
We figured out why the child is afraid in the dark is a long time. And to make it easier for parents to deal with children's fears, you can offer a few not difficult tips:
1. Listen carefully to the child's story of his fear. In detail, ask him about this fear, all in great detail. Do not be afraid, therefore, you let the child know what is the cause of his fears and how you will overcome this fear. Your main task is to let the child understand what you can and should fight with fears, and most importantly yourself.
2. Your child should feel parental support in the fight against fear. He should know that you will always be near. At first, wait for the moment when the baby is fast asleep, and only then leave the room, and during the evening several times you go into the nursery, to make sure that everything is in order with the child.
3. Explain to the child that, with the onset of darkness, the room remains the same, no monsters appear in it, all items remain in the same place and the same size. We adults know for sure that the child is not threatened, but do not ridicule these children's fears, but rather walk through the dark room with the baby and tell and show everything you see in the nursery, explaining that they are afraid of nothing. Read the opinion of the child, this is very important for him.
4. If you notice that the child began to talk constantly about their fears, ask questions about them, include their fears in games, ask adults to tell terrible stories, it all indicates that the child himself is trying to cope with his fears, do not be afraid of it , but just support it, be sure to answer questions and requests. And if possible, suggest new ways to fight fears, if its methods, for some reason do not work.
5. What would cope with the fear of the dark, you can accustom a child to the dark, by means of playing hide and seek in a dark room. In general, in every possible way, accustom the child to improve the skills of overcoming fears and self-control against them, in the future it will help to learn to overcome easily any other problems.
6. Avoid the process of communicating with children of such phrases: "I'll go and never come back", "I'll stand in the street", "Put in a corner", "Stay alone", "Zapru in the bathroom", "I'll throw it in the trash".
7. If possible, change the location of objects in the room, as much as possible removing the corners and free spaces that cause the child's anxiety.
8. If the child is afraid to fall asleep in a dark room, try leaving a lamp or a night light in the room. You can use nightlights, projecting moving pictures on the wall or ceiling, that would divert the attention of the child from his thoughts and fears.
9. Leave pets in his room, cats and dogs are good for this. And pets are themselves not unwilling to stay with them, do not interfere with it.
10. Ask the child to draw his fear in the picture, and then together with him to destroy this fear. Ways of destruction can be several, it can be defeated by a brave fairy-tale hero, a child can, wash it off with water from a picture, a variant of burning or cutting into pieces will do. You can offer even a ridiculous option, when finishing the fear of something that would make it funny and innocuous.
11. If possible, leave your child at night in your bedroom for 3-4 years, not necessarily a dream should be in the parent's bed. And if the child has a problem of fear, then the process of teaching him to a separate dream is better for a while to stop.
12. Very useful, there can be stories of parents about their children's nightly fear, but it would be good to talk about how you won it, that all fears finally left.
In addition, try to avoid loud and noisy games an hour before going to bed, at this time, it is also better to refrain from watching TV. One hour before sleep, give the child a warm tea made from mint, lemon balm, black currant, chamomile and thyme, adding a little honey. Instead of tea, warm milk with honey or yogurt is good. Before going to sleep, read to him his favorite book or a fairy tale. A bath with soothing herbs can easily fall asleep. You can use aromatic oils that reduce excitability and improve sleeping crumbs.
Be attentive to your children, talk to them more often and discuss all their fears and then you will help your little one grow into a successful and strong person who can find his place in the world of problems. Your attention and understanding is the most important and necessary thing that you have to give to a little man, while he is still very dependent on you.