How to behave to the parent, when the older child is jealous of the younger and mother and father? What can I say, what should I do to eradicate this unnecessary feeling and instill love and tenderness to replenish the eldest?
I think you need to start long before you bring a tiny bundle from the hospital to the house that makes a squeak. Surely you have repeatedly asked your older child - does he want a brother or sister? Remember what your older child answered to you? And push your line of behavior precisely from his answer.
If the kid said that he would gladly acquire a sister or a brother - it's really great, your business is not to let the child get disappointed in this dream, not to let it go. As soon as you find out the happy news about pregnancy - tell the eldest that, for example, his sister (or brother) called and said that she will be born soon. Carefully observe the reaction of the child - was he not upset? As much as possible joyfully tell him that when the second child appears in the family, he will have a wonderful opportunity to play with him in different games! He will have a real friend who will always be there.
If you already know the sex of the future baby - you can play on it. The older daughter will have a sister? It's great, at last she will have someone to play with dolls, at last someone will help her beautifully equip a doll house! Together they will cook food in a toy bowl, and then feed her father and mother. If the brother is expected - also good, a big and strong defender will grow out of him, who will not let his little sister offend!
If the older child is a boy, then I think he will not have problems with his brother. After all, a brother is great, it's a game of cars racing, fishing, bicycles, consoles and much, much more! Maybe he does not immediately get used to the idea that he will have a sister - he might think that a girl in a family is boring. You can always argue with him, convinced that you can play a ball with a girl and fish, and besides, who will protect her, she's so small? Boys love when parents consider them strong and independent.
All these arguments should sound even more convincing from your lips if the older child does not want a sister or a brother - he wants to fully control the attention of his parents and not share their love with anyone. To behave to parents in this case must be extremely gentle, neat, so that an accidental word does not aggravate the situation. Do not forget to say that you love him and will always love, and besides, you will not be able to cope with the younger baby without the help of the eldest. Let him feel that you need him just as before, that you love him and are not going to give up for the sake of a new baby. Do not give him gifts - this does not replace the parental warmth. Most often go together, drive him through zoos and swings, and tell me about how very soon you will walk here three, and the eldest will show the youngest of all-all animals in the zoo.
Arrange sessions of "communication" of the older child with the youngest in the tummy. Let him feel his pinches, and you comment that this is the future brother or sister pass the child hello!
When a child is born, of course, almost all the attention of parents will be riveted to him. It is important here not to set the older child aside, as it will hurt him to survive. Attach it to caring for the baby, give us feasible tasks: for example, choose crumbs clothes, wash his toys, choose a jar in the store and so on. Allow to pet, kiss the baby and do not make any offensive attacks, if the older child suddenly does something wrong. After all, most often the kid is jealous of the younger child when he feels himself to be superfluous. Do not let the older child experience this feeling!
First, when a small baby needs a mom, let her father spend time with the elder, walk as much as possible and tell him everything. But sometimes my mother should be able to leave the baby with her dad - and spend the whole day with the eldest baby, because now he does not have enough motherly affection!
Have you ever seen how proudly older children roll a wheelchair with their younger brother (sister) in the park? Yes, they just shine with happiness, from the fact that they were entrusted with this responsibility, from the fact that it is they who show the new world to the kids in which they came!
And how interesting are they to explain the purpose of these or other toys, things? All this is exactly you must teach the older child, affectionately tell him - what a huge role in the life of the second baby he plays! And how will his baby love if he himself is not afraid to give him his love and care ...
Be utterly sincere with your second baby. If he does not understand why you can not devote more time to him, just explain to him that the youngest is still very weak, he can not even lie down on his tummy, and that his family's task is to help him in this.
Whenever you buy a toy for crumbs in the store - do not forget about the older child, he will be very pleased when you give him a little gift to the first - he must at least sometimes be the first again!
Well, most importantly - to explain that the family does not have the first and second, there are no less loved ones and more loved ones, but there are those people who really need each other's support! And if they feel this support, then the family will grow stronger day by day, and each part of it will be filled with happiness and joy!