However, the warriors found on the island only a stocky unwashed and hairy tribe of savages, whose hearts led a very difficult path. This path for some reason went through the mouth, and then turned to the stomach, as determined discouraged warriors. The anatomy of the warriors, whose path to the heart came from the eyes and ears directly to the heart, was very different from the native one.
The warriors called the natives men, because communion with him caused a lot of suffering and required even greater courage. And warriors of the savages called women. What this meant in their barbaric language, the warriors decided not to delve into, and began to study the language, habits and culture of men.
After observing several representatives of the local tribe, the warriors established a complete lack of culture. Then, discovering that men have almost identical habits, the warriors engraved on the stone a long list of these habits. The basic habits, for example, were different types of sounds produced during sleep (called snoring), while eating (champing), after eating (uterine sound, due to delicacy not named). There were also stable habits of throwing skins, clubs, stick-diggers and other personal belongings throughout the tribal camp, followed by a habit of furiously rushing about in search of the named items, assigning other people's artifacts and fighting for them with the actual owner. The most common habit of warriors was recognized as untidiness. It was characteristic of almost all representatives of the indigenous tribe, and after the thought of the warriors decided that the purpose of this habit is a sharp, unpleasant and persistent smell, which was published by men.
As it was discovered, the language of the natives, in addition to the names of everyday objects, consisted of four or five basic words, and derivatives from them. These words were always used by the natives, and probably did not have a specific meaning, but were intended to strengthen the meaning of what was said. This group of words by warriors was accurately recorded in the list on the second stone and is called a mate by the sound of the word most often used in such expressions.
The melting communication of men inside the herd was extremely simple and boiled down to several types of behavior. Friendly type - several men are sitting around, drinking stinky liquid from the pumpkin, and patting each other on the shoulder. From time to time one of the natives utters a phrase on the native, after which the others burst with a series of sounds resembling neighing. Moderately hostile type - the natives stand in front and exchange phrases consisting of the words of a group of mats, while making menacing movements towards the enemy. As was noted by female warriors, these words were also used in the friendly type of communication, but they were pronounced in a different tone. An extremely hostile type of behavior was expressed in fights in one-to-one, one-to-many and many-to-many relationships.
As a result of the study, the warriors established the basic rules for themselves, which must be strictly adhered to, engaging with men, and engraved them on the third stone:
- To attract the attention of a man it is necessary to smile smugly, stupidly giggle or clap eyelashes
- To force a man to follow him you have to wink, show your lower limbs, or walk in front of him with the gait of an orangutan female
- To make a man do the job in his place, one must pretend to be even more stupid and helpless than he
- In order for a man to be neat and tidy, it is necessary to force him to wash with the use of force and to pick up things for him everywhere
- To correct the behavior of a man, it is necessary to use the method of encouragement and punishment for training
- To tame a man, it must be fed, dressed and shod.
- To a man to bind to him for a long time, we must love him.
Now, having become acquainted with the basic rules of communicating with men, you will understand how to catch, knock off a trail, tame and use on the farm such a savage as a man.
Happy hunting you, sister ...