How to handle such a child?
First, from the time of birth (and preferably before it), start communicating with the child. From the very first days of life, immature children need special rest, so doctors try to limit the number and duration of visits. However, you will be allowed to watch the child through the glass walls of the ward: if the baby is placed in a kuvez, his movements are clearly visible. Pay attention to how he reacts to the touch of nurses, whether he tries to wiggle his fingers.
After a while you will be allowed to take the baby in your arms, feed and swaddle. Preterm infants during the first weeks of life need close contact with their mother for a more complete "completion" of intrauterine development. According to the research, the more diverse and rich the emotions will be between the newborn and the mother, the sooner the child will grow, gain weight and develop mentally.
Even the most immature baby can already see and hear much better than we think. That's why regardless of whether there is a reaction to your actions, talk with the child as much as possible, tell him fairy tales, sing songs, stroke him on the pens and legs. The kid can remain at first sight indifferent to such communication till 3-5 weeks (and it is strongly premature even longer), however it is possible to him to perceive much and accumulate impressions. The child is simply physically still very weak in order to react more actively. As soon as you see the first response (animation, eye contact), help the kid to feel that his actions are pleasing to you.
You can hang a bright rattle in your crib or kuveze, put on your toddler's colored socks, let him listen to the recording of the voice of his family members or pleasant music. It is proved that this way babies manage to learn to distinguish the colors of objects, tonality and pitch of sound, and the fullness and brightness of impressions stimulate its psycho-emotional development. But remember: not all stimulation is useful. For example, do not need to use perfume and toilet water before going to the hospital. Some smells tend to irritate children, cause nervous excitement and allergies.
Start to keep a diary and take photos. You can start recording the child's behavior almost the next day after giving birth. Such a diary of early development is very important - it helps all family members get acquainted with the nature of the child even before discharge and prepare in advance for his appearance in the house. You need not leave a diary in the future. Its purpose is not only to become a family heirloom afterwards. If a child suddenly has difficulties in behavior or learning, such a recorded history of his early development will provide material for specialists, helping in a clearer vision of the situation. You can ask the doctor during the stay in the hospital to make video recordings or pictures of the child (only you have to shoot without a flash). All other family members will also be interested and useful to get to know the baby in advance.
Where is the norm, and where is the deviation?
Remember that the development of the child is always individual. The main thing for mom and dad is whether their children develop normally. Only in doing so, we often do not take into account that the meaning of the norm is invested in each of us. Some parents take care, first of all, of a high intellectual level, others - about the physical achievements of the child, the third agree that their child "learned at least for three".
Psychologists working with premature babies, apply two criteria of the norm:
the available set of necessary motor, speech and game skills and adaptability of the child (the ability to make decisions and navigate in life situations). In the first case, the assessment is made of what the child has learned to do, and the second examines how (how correctly and quickly) he does it.
Sometimes parents make the mistake of comparing their child's "achievements" with the standards for children born on time. Such comparisons are acceptable in principle, however, during the first 5-7 months, you still need to make some discount. If, for example, a baby was born at the age of eight months, and now it is three months old, it will be more correct to focus on the indicators for a two-month-old child.
Do not miss a series of anxious symptoms! Do not panic if the baby suddenly becomes passive or more moody than usual - so a premature baby can react even to weather changes. However, individual symptoms can become really alarming:
- long absence of a response look under condition of normal vision in a child older than two months;
- the presence of a painful reaction to touch (convulsive movements, crying, screaming), at the sight or voice of adult family members after two months.
Parents sometimes ignore such phenomena, especially if the child has poor health. During illness the premature baby may also behave inadequately. However, most often this indicates a special state of mind, which occurs in some premature babies - child autism (mental isolation from the outside world).
How correctly to communicate with the doctor?
Do not hesitate to ask questions. According to recent studies, for half of mothers, the history of their child's illness is a dark forest, and another 20% simply do not try to understand the formulation of medical terms and do not require the specialist to explain. Remember: you have the right to receive full information about the health of the child, about what assistance he needs, what is the forecast of his development. The doctor is obligated to explain to you all this in an accessible form, answering any questions.
You can be interested not only in the physical, but also in the mental health of the child. Sometimes the immaturity of the body disrupts the work of the brain. If your child already has a confirmed diagnosis, inquire about the nature and causes of this condition. It is also important to know which part of the brain is afflicted with this disease.