Recall, a few years ago, Sedokova married the captain of Kiev Dynamo Valentine Belkevich. All the press wrote about their magnificent wedding. Because of the love for her husband, the singer left the popular popular group "VIA Gra" and devoted herself to the family. I gave birth to my daughter, I was sitting with my child, I met my husband with hot suppers. When the rumors spread that her family was going wrong, she would end up saying that her husband did not want her to work, because of that they had problems. However, as it turned out today, the true cause of the gap is different ...
- There are no easy divorces. My divorce was also very difficult, - says Anna. - When there are children, this is the hardest. I think that in any parting, two people are to blame. Someone did not go to meet them, someone went the other way. In my life I went through the most terrible word - "treason". And passed through it for a long time.
At some point I realized that my marriage burst like a soap bubble. Probably, I invented it myself. And life is much tougher.
Valentine now lives with the woman with whom he lived before me, after me and during me. I do not blame him and do not say who is bad. Just one person is good in one place, the second in another. This is his life. I respect his right. And my daughter and me too. But for me it was a hard story.
- How did you find out about treason?
- I felt that my husband has someone. And then he began to linger, sometimes did not spend the night at home. I packed my bags and left with my daughter.
"So you left your husband?"
"How am I?" If a person meets another woman with his wife and daughter? Was it me who left or who? I said: "You can not live like this." He says: "Then let's divorce."
"Did your husband try to save his family?"
- I tried and came back with my daughter. And we tried to return. But nothing happened.
I let him go and said: "Okay." A person can not hold if the other wants to leave. Stupidity that you can keep a man with children or something else. He will leave sooner or later. He returned a month after the divorce ... Suggested again to sign. I refused.
... It was very lousy, there was a feeling that you were betrayed, exchanged. But I do not want to return it. Because I feel very good now.
Now I have experience and I know that you can not stick a broken cup. When you pour water into it, it keeps. And when the boiling water, it still cracks. You could pretend that I did not see it, do not know anything, wait, shut up. But there is such an ingenious expression by Schopenhauer: "Reconciling with a person and renewing his broken friendship with him is a weakness in which he will have to repent when he does the same thing on the first occasion that caused the rupture."
Believe me, it's better to start a new life, which I did.
- For you, betrayal and betrayal are different things?
"I think it's the same thing." Treason is not treason in the event that two agree to this.
Unfortunately, now treason is the norm. Sometimes, even for some men, betrayal of his wife is not a betrayal. It's like two parallel lives - wife and mistress, many seem normal, unfortunately.
"Did your husband think it was normal?"
"I think he just lived like he does."
- Some women close their eyes ...
"I do not know of any women who would be calm about treason." This is a lie to yourself for the sake of preserving the family. So 70% of families live. And in Moscow with the morals of Moscow - even more, and on Rublevke so live 99 percent of families, and even the whole hundred: when the wife pretends that nothing is happening. But this is not my world. And at some point I realized that I will not live like this. I do not want this kind of life. Neither for money, nor for the status of a wife. I too believe in a light, tender feeling, so that I can continue to live like this and lie to myself. I will seek my happiness. I was dissuaded from divorce, my mother was absolutely against it. I was told that I would become useless to no one, I would stay with the child in my arms ... But now men are making suggestions to me. For a decent man will not become a barrier to a child. If a person has a father's instinct, then he will persist. Moreover, I have the most magical daughter in the world. This is a small miracle.
The judge asked ... Dynamo ball
- Do you know how we were bred - the most beautiful pair of Ukraine? With a small child, it is clear that it was hard. And I came so proud, but it is clear that the night did not sleep, she cried. I came, Valentine came. We arrived in a building, the judge asked: "There are three questions for you. First: who will pay 17 hryvnia - 2 dollars - for the receipt? With whom will the daughter stay? "I say:" With me. " Judge: "Can I have a Dynamo ball and your autograph?" All! We were bred for two minutes. I did not understand how this could be. And where is the second chance, the wise words of people? What kind of marriage institution can there be? He has long since disappeared, degraded.
The apartment was left to her husband
- After the divorce I faced domestic difficulties. In marriage, we lived with my husband and daughter in his apartment.
By law, I had no right to her, because she was bought before marriage. They all told me: "We must fight for the apartment." And I thought that since he had earned her all his life, let him be with him. And he did not particularly suggest we stay.
I forced myself to forget everything bad. She left only good in her memory. But I remember that it was hard. I rented an apartment, stayed after divorce without housing. I was not married - I was sitting with my daughter, I did not have a certificate from work. But they know me. And the bank went to meet me, gave me a big loan, to which I bought an apartment in Kiev. I still pay the loan. Long time was under construction. Three weeks before moving to a new apartment, nothing was ready. Funds for repair were not large. Friends of me drove around the neighborhood of Kiev, where there are hypermarkets with building materials. As a result, I got one of the most beautiful apartments. When people come, they say: "It's probably worth all the crazy money". And I'm proud that I did not have anything, even a car, but I completed the apartment in three weeks.
Spaghetti from stress
- Stress after the divorce, I treated ... spaghetti. I came in the evening and cooked spaghetti with sauce. It helped. But I scored 7 extra pounds. Therefore, I do not recommend a method - it's hard to regain the former weight. She switched to special literature - "Bandaging of mental wounds", something like that. You can go to a male therapist. You are not yet ready for a new relationship, and you need to recharge your masculine energy. Ideally: the masseur is a man, the hairdresser is a man. Not gay, but a real man who will say: "How beautiful you are!" It's good to change the color of your hair! I immediately dyed. You can change your hairstyle, go to fitness, start working, read smart books, become a star!
When a woman works, it is a manifestation of her independence. I am convinced that a woman should have her own business. Otherwise, there is a loop on his man.
My recipe for women after parting: a new man, new hair, a new life!
By experience I know: it's useless for a divorcing man to try to evoke a feeling of compassion. They have everything differently arranged. Do not be a man to know that you are weak. I have situations where I'm lousy, but nobody sees it. Because I'm strong and I will not show weakness. Men are hunters. They hunt prey. And they want to do it. And when the victim is already dead, they are not interested. They are interested in catching up to constantly be in good shape. Therefore, you need to get up, wash, dress. And that he did not catch up!
The main thing is not to despair. And start living by yourself. Begin to learn to take the first steps. Children also do not know how to walk at first, and then we all go fine.
Men think that we all die when they leave. We'll crawl on our knees. During our break, my husband told me: "Without me you will become nothing and nothing." But look at me, it's not at all! Nothing hurts men more painfully than the realization that you have survived without it ... Men do not like to feel guilty, they shift the blame on the woman. Do not indulge them and blame yourself!
"Did your husband regret it?"
"I think it's only he who knows." I know that my daughter and I will always be the most beloved women in his life. He loves his daughter more than me. I think Valentine will never marry again. And he does not plan. His only name is mine.
- Have you seen a husband with that razluchnitsey after the divorce?
"I've never seen and never will." What for? I'm not a masochist. Why deliberately cripple yourself? It's incredibly painful. I do not even know what she looks like. I have not seen her in my life. It is enough for me that she knows how I look. I'm above this. There is no one, no one. There is only me and my daughter.
I'm not a divorced woman now, but a free woman! I must say to myself: "I'm not" divorced, "I'm a bachelor, free!" Right immediately opens the right to choose. You can go to restaurants, cinema, communicate with any people. The world is different. So many prospects. Let the men themselves deal with their problems.
- Time cures?
- Definitely. The main thing is not to go through this situation and not to remember how it was. Do not look for any mistakes in yourself. Accept the situation as it is. Everything happened, nothing can be changed. There is a brilliant phrase: history is not written from one sheet. No one ever knows how tomorrow will be.
- Did your ex-husband manage to remain friends?
- We did not stay friends. It's strange when people are friends with families after they have experienced so much pain. If we just parted, realizing that we are better off without each other, I think we would be reconciled first of all for the sake of our daughter. And why should we communicate? The main thing is not to fight and not to beat the dishes. I myself am a child of divorced parents. My parents parted terribly. I've never had a father. Therefore, there were many complexes - insecurity and other things. I am proud that now for Alina I have done so that the former husband knows: at any moment, when he wants, he can see his daughter. We have a nonaggression pact with him, as I call it. I do not understand women who begin to manipulate children - it's evil towards their child.
I offered to marry and threw the same day
- What conclusions have you made after the divorce? Is it worth it to remarry?
- For some time I absolutely did not want to marry any more. I realized it's hard work being a wife. It is necessary to constantly adjust to the person next. At some point stop being yourself. This is really the most difficult profession. But now I understand that I have options to get married and live on the ocean coast, for example. But I want to be realized and then already marry that person who will be so mine that I never regretted it. With a divorce, life does not end. Believe me, I am now a thousand times happier than then. Because I did not live my life. Yesterday I had a crazy day: the man made me an offer and ... at the same time left me. Because of my work. He could not reconcile with my work, despite the great love for me ...
- Have you chosen a job?
- And I did not make a choice. He made it himself. I love the work I do. I do not want to give up everything and again regret that has not been realized. I need time to release a solo album, to bring to mind the project "Ice Age". Release a book. When I release an album, I will understand that I did not in vain come into this profession.
Averbukh could not refuse me
"I'm not afraid to start over and call on everyone not to be afraid." When I went to conquer Moscow for the Ice Age project, which I had not even been approved for yet, everyone told me: "Crazy!" In Kiev everything was arranged: an apartment, a Porsche jeep, work on a Ukrainian TV channel. But I collected two suitcases of things - dresses and shoes - and came to Moscow. With him - a thousand dollars. It would be enough only for a week at the hotel. Has come on a casting in "Ice Age": all, I have arrived! Ahead is complete uncertainty. But three days later, thanks to my determination, Ilya Averbukh accepted the work. I skied six hours a day. Ilya saw this and realized that it's impossible not to take me to the project.
The issue with the apartment was solved - "Ice Age" rented me an apartment in Moscow. I go to training, I have wonderful friends. Little by little the life is arranged. If you believe that everything will be wonderful, and do not sit at home on the couch, it will work out! The most important thing is not to look back.
In bed with Malakhov
- Now I'm releasing my video for the song "I'm Getting Used". This is my video message. I needed a man who looked like Brad Pitt. Because there is a plot similar to the movie "Mr. and Mrs. Smith." Chose Malakhov. Andrei and I spent a long time together - in Kiev we had a TV show. Andrew every week came to me for shooting, we worked together with him, met and became related. Some newspapers ascribe to us a novel. We have very gentle, kind relations.
When we had to shoot a clip for the clip, we had a romantic period. We talked tenderly to each other, but we had no kisses before, nothing. The candy-bouquet period. And then we were taken to a hotel room, put a camera and said: "Come on, there must be a scene of passion, love." We exchanged glances and said: "We need champagne." We drank two glasses of champagne - and it raced! What did we do with him there! He's a good actor. But it seems to me that we have already forgotten that we played, we tried so hard. The room was closed, a minimum of people. When we left after this scene, were wet from stress. The scenes were very frank. We were excited, inspired by this work ... It's good that we were stopped! (Laughs.)