Resentment occurs in the life of every person. It is very difficult to find a person who would not hold someone offended. Most often they try to pour out their grievances in scandals with their relatives, but also over a cup of coffee with friends. Of course, getting rid of the grievances is impossible. Although you can get rid of the old accumulated resentment and no longer collect anything new. Everyone will say that the grievances are of different sizes. Usually you hear such phrases as: "I was hurt a lot or me a little bit offended. " Even accidentally said words that have no intent, can offend a person for many years. Even the phrase said by a small child can hurt a person.
For example, in many cases, some may not pay attention to the words said inadvertently, and some it may hurt for a living. Then why is this mechanism available? If it exists, then it must be noted that it is needed. Why is this mechanism necessary? The feeling of resentment is hurt by the ego. For a person who wants to improve themselves, insult is a concrete barometer, to determine the "weak" sides. Everyone can offend or just be offended. For example, you can offend the words about how "a little recovered" or what a talented neighbor. Everyone has a lot of sensitive strings. They are suddenly pulled out when they are hurt. It is even necessary to clarify that the person who speaks these words thinks that he can offend or not. Maybe this person does not want to offend and spoil the mood.
Close people, relatives, friends know about vulnerable places. In ancient times they said: "Everything is poison, as everything can become a medicine." Of course, all this can be attributed to resentment, too. In the event that you allow the offense to grow, make "out of a fly of an elephant", then the offense will become poison, and if you consider the insult as mere words, it can become a medicine. If the trade offense is sitting in a person since childhood, then it will spread to the relationship with the husband, and with the parents, and with the staff at work. Seeing an offended face, they will want to help and just become more delicate. Women of this type go to the doctor-psychologist for many years, tell how they are not properly perceived by others. However, they themselves do not perceive that this image is pre-selected by them themselves. At what this person does not know how to live otherwise. It is with this that all problems begin. People are beginning to understand that this image is a very convenient position. All their compassion immediately disappears.
For example, at the very beginning of the marriage life, pouting lips seem to him very charming, but this game is a little annoying. Once a man stops apologizing. And those people who do not take offense, but only pretend, they eventually cease to believe. And in the case when they really need support, they do not get it. All people have their own truth and resentment. Insults often become not the right beliefs: for example, think that all people are like them, and if not , they are supposedly strange. They think that everyone is difficult to understand them, as they themselves are . And if you understand, you must support it. If they do not want to support, they may think that they are offended. You can not expect people to read minds. One must also think that people's words come from his own interests, plans and did not at all think of offending anyone. You do not need to accumulate grievances, but seek ways to communicate. There is a type of such insults that are not easy to forget. There are old grievances, especially when they were inflicted by relatives or friends, often arise in the minds. This case could happen a long time ago, even the offender managed to make amends, but still remember. And more often people remember remorse for a long time than pleasant sensations. And, of course, not only do we remember these grievances, but at an opportunity, we try and remind the offender.
Resentment is an emotional state. In it many feelings are hidden. People who accumulate grievances for years are absorbed in it completely . The insult is divided into 2 parts: emotional and rational. Emotional resentment does not allow to live, all the time the soul is full of heavy feelings, does not even give pleasure. From all this you need to get rid of, to live beautifully. And the rational part of the insult is the life experience itself. This kind of insult indicates how to act in a similar situation. If you forgive an insult, then the emotional part passes, that is, a person when recalling a given life situation no longer experiences negative emotions. However, rational insult remains forever. Usually they say: "Forgive, but did not forget." Of course, no one forgets any offense.
Anyone can be helped to fight offense. It is necessary to consider why keep an offense. It must also be remembered that a person can be punished only once. If people remember the offense, then they carry with them completely. You can fight the emotional part of the psychological method. It will take less than 30 minutes and you need to be all alone. You need to take a comfortable pose and relax, even you can close your eyes. Then remember the offense, which was very cruel. A little thought, where in which part of the body is resentment and answer some questions. For example, what is the size of the offense, what temperature, what to touch. And after all this you need to imagine what kind of look this offense has. Of course, this exercise must be done several times in order that the offense ceases to torment. This method can be used to combat all negative emotions.
Now you know what role children's resentments play and how to help children fight offense.