Meeting after meeting on the Internet

It is very easy to get acquainted with a person on the Internet, to lead frivolous conversations on the verge of flirting. But what's next? With Volodya I met at a psychological forum. Although in the beginning he was for me just a nickname from Latin letters, nothing meaningful drawing, like all the other members of the forum. But his comments were not like the others. They "fell into the bull's eye", coincided with my thoughts so much that I became interested. An interesting dialogue ensued ...

Illusion, the game?
We exchanged numbers ICQ, began to correspond. I work in an online store, I consult potential customers, so virtually to communicate all day for me - it's a habit.
I did not have any thoughts about any flirting at first. I'm practically married, we live with a guy in a civil marriage. True, he is calm, silent, sometimes it seems even - colorless some. But it's so reliable, dear. I can not imagine how I could go home, but it's not! .. So Volodya and I just talked on topics of interest to us, mostly psychological ones. Were practicing wit.
"I'm a pessimist, and this is a disease." - "I hope, without the danger of a lethal outcome? :) And I'm an optimist." - "Optimism is a herd feeling." - "Herds of pessimists are not too rare ..." - "Yes, that's for sure." The main thing is to be able to be a happy pessimist. Are you happy, optimist? " The conversations became more and more serious. Communication was made necessary. I started to catch myself that if he did not write, I'm sad and something in life is not enough. Although all as always, my beloved husband is near.

I wondered at myself: what's going on? Absolutely a stranger suddenly filled my life, appropriated my feelings. I did not want to believe that I was in love. How can I fall in love with letters on the monitor? It's not real! Illusion, the game. But I'm going through quite real ... It got to the point that if Volodya had not appeared on the web for a couple of hours, I was starting to imagine the terrible: he was ill (with the danger of a lethal outcome!) Or I was completely uninteresting to him.

What was it?
My mood often changed, and I was tormented by remorse. My husband did not notice anything, even when I was sitting near the computer with my back to him, corresponded with Volodya. In the end, the desire to see him became intolerable.
In conversations we found out that both are coffeemakers. And in our city there is a cafe where nothing but coffee is served. But this coffee is excellent. And I decided ... In the depths of my heart hoped that my virtual companion would turn out to be bald and fat, and my strange adventure would end happily.

But I liked Volodya. Normal guy, funny eyes ... I felt like skiing when descending the mountain, when pushing away from the ground - and the spirit captures. It seemed: now, a little more - and something in my life will happen ...
And then we drank coffee, talked - and the magic disappeared somewhere. For some reason, the words spoken aloud were pale, helpless. The conversation "sagged". I always lacked the monitor and keyboard to feel the charm of the interlocutor again. And I, in spite of my desire, "so that he turned out to be Quasimodo," in the depths of my soul beforehand imagined how I would take Volodya by the hand, how he would cover her with his ... Because we were so drawn to each other! But nothing happened ... And the desire was not there either. I said I was in a hurry, apologized and left disappointed. As if I was deceived.
When we contacted in the "asechnyy" window, his words were again lit by depth and charm. We missed you. Wrote verses to each other. The head was spinning ... And at home - again repentance and awkwardness. Recollection of a "no" meeting. And ... crazy desire to repeat it!