I rushed to him: "Daddy, are you feeling bad?" She grabbed her shoulders and tried to lift it. And suddenly I realized he was ... dead. All my life my father killed himself. And now, at forty, he achieved his goal. He died alone, among a pile of empty bottles. Tear was not there. I fell into some kind of stupor. I was sitting, waiting for my mother and Pyotr Sheksheev. A friend came first, called the police, said - so it is. I did not react to anything, only my head twisted: "It's my fault, I". On August 27, my father had a birthday, I congratulated him. And he me of the thirtieth - is not present. First time in life. In whatever condition the father was, he always called. And then - silence. And I went to him. She opened the door. He slept on the couch, as usual drunk. I sighed with relief: thank God, I'm alive! I already had a dream several times: an unfamiliar voice is cold and officially says "Sergei Dmitrievich Zadorozhny died." I woke up from my own cry. I went over to cover the blanket. I decided to lock the door with a key - in such a state it is dangerous to go out into the street. I thought, I'll pick you up tomorrow, bring the food ... And I'm late. The house is so quiet that you can hear the water dripping from the tap. These sounds seem to dig into the brain. At last the police arrived. They came in, looked around indifferently, at my father, at me. Ask:
Who are you a citizen of Zadorozhny?
Daughter.
- Present the documents ...
Doorbell. I wanted to open it, but the guardian of the order was ahead of me. On the threshold stood Mom. She pressed her handkerchief to her mouth and repeated through sobs: "How come, Nastya? How so?! "The most terrible moment was when my father was turned over. Do not forget his eyes: stopped, blind, completely glass. I was tormented by guilt. Suddenly my father died because I locked the door? Maybe he needed help, but he could not get out? Doctors said that death came instantly: a blood clot broke away. I did not believe it, I thought it was calming. The pope came to bury friends, friends, fellow students from the Military Academy named after Zhukovsky. I still can not imagine that it lies in the ground. Not at ease on this thought. Although visually I start to forget it. He becomes my past - that's what's terrible. I try to resist it. I take photos, I look long, I remember ... My mother always had a lot of admirers. But all faded when the pope appeared. A handsome Yesenin-like air force officer. She was not scared off even by the fact that he was drinking hard. In the end, while a man is single, why should not he take a walk and drink? There will be a family, responsibility - and it will change. But after the wedding, everything remained as before.
If you love…
"If you love me, accept it as it is," the father replied to Mom's requests to stop drinking. And she accepted - not only drunkenness, but also his character. I tolerated the fact that they, as it turned out, completely different views on life. Dad believed: we live in prosperity, the apartment is, pay a salary - what else do you need? And Mom wanted more: to see the world, to buy beautiful furniture, a good car ... but little in the life of joys! She hoped that at least after the birth of the child, family life would be fine. Mistaken. However, in the military town of Fedotovo near Vologda, men drank through one and considered it perfectly normal: life in the garrison is boring, gray, nothing to do. Perhaps, it is features of children's memory, but I kept the warmest memories of Fedotov: around the forest - we went for mushrooms, in a small lake there was a fish. Not far from our house there was a bakery: at nine in the morning there were crazy lines and all the streets smelled of fresh bread. I very clearly remember this smell, although I lived in Fedotovo only three years. My father enrolled in the Zhukovsky Academy, he was allocated a room in the officers' dormitory on Sokol: nine meters, a common shower in the basement. Conditions, of course, are not the best, but my mother was happy: Moscow! I believed that in the capital we will start a new life - without vodka and scandals.
New in life
Not so long ago I drove past the district where my childhood passed, and something jumped inside. She turned off Leningradka, went into the hostel and was horrified: mud, devastation ... And childhood memories for some reason bright. Well, yes, the shower is in the basement. But it did not bother me - I did not even know anything else. At the place where the "Triumph Palace" is now, there used to be a park with some ruins, we cooked kebabs there with my dad. He cooked them terrific. After the hostel I went to my music school. I looked at the schedule and saw the name of my teacher - Viktor Petrovich Kuznetsov. She looked into the classroom, worried, as in her childhood before the exam. The teacher immediately recognized me, lamented that I had never entered Gnesinka. Once, both of us very much wanted me to become a professional pianist. By the entrance exams, we with Victor Petrovich prepared twenty works. But it did not work out. In school at the lesson of work, I pricked a finger. At first, and did not pay attention, you think, nonsense. And two days later the temperature jumped, the wound was inflamed, the finger swelled. In the Morozov hospital, my mother was immediately told: "Infection. I'll have to operate. " The surgeon, to whom she gave the last twenty dollars as a "gift", assured that everything would be all right. And the next day, when I was being prepared for surgery, I accidentally heard the nurses talk: "It's a pity, the finger will have to be amputated, it's just a child."
Mom rushed to the head of the department:
- As you can, Nastya is a pianist! I will not give consent to such an operation!
He only spread his hands:
- You will pull - the girl will lose her hand.
Recovery
With a terrible scandal, my mother took me from the Morozov hospital and put it in Botkinskaya. Thank God, I managed to save my hand. And even the mobility of the finger was returned. But I had to forget about entering Gnesinka. For me and my mother this was a terrible blow. After all, I was engaged in music from my childhood and did not imagine a different fate. Even in Fedotova, my mother could leave calmly, leaving me alone with the tape recorder. No dolls, no cartoons - nothing interested me the way music. She noticed my abilities early, took them seriously and tried in every possible way to develop them. My father thought differently. He said that studying music is a whim, a waste of time and money. But strangely enough, I came to the children's ensemble "Neposedy" thanks to the Pope. Tickets for the New Year tree in the City Hall he brought. There I first saw the famous "Neposed" on stage, and not on TV. And after the end of the play I decided to go backstage. I went to Yulia Malinovskaya, the most famous "neposide," and said that I wanted to sing with them. Julia took me to the art director Lene Pingjoyan, she appointed audition. And soon, without any protection, I was enrolled in the senior group - the very one where the stars were Yulia Malinovskaya, Serezha Lazarev, Vlad Topalov and Yulia Volkova. Some parents from childhood are impressed by their children that they are the most intelligent, beautiful and by definition deserve only the best. And my mother believed that I, of course, have musical abilities, but I will succeed only if I work hard and hard. Papino's opinion on this issue was reduced to the word "bullshit". "You are hovering in the clouds," he said discontentedly. "It would be better if you thought how to act with such assessments to a law institute, artist!" When they took me to Neposedy, I did not jump to the ceiling for joy. So I wanted to make friends with the guys! But already on the first day they made it clear to me: do not dream of friendship. I was shy, dressed very modestly and behaved the same way. Elegantly dressed, relaxed, happy children quickly found out that I had never been abroad, I do not have any fashionable clothes, and there's nothing to talk about with me. The only role that I thought was good was the role of the victim. Nobody called me by my name. But there were a lot of nicknames. The most harmless are Zagoroga and Constipation. Every step that I took was an excuse for mocking jokes. It started with stage costumes. They were already bought for the whole group, but they told me, newcomer: get yourself out. Mom scraped up the money, bought inexpensive cloth, and we made dresses for performances. "What cool rags," - to everyone's approving laughter, our efforts were evaluated by the "non-party" women of fashion. I come one day to the rehearsal in braces, they only put it to me. To speak inconveniently is not used to glands. And they did not add beauty to me. Nevertheless I smile:
- Hi guys!
"These are the jaws!" - Seryozha answers Lazarev. "Wow, I'm afraid of you!" And everyone is laughing, very pleased. However, they tried to "shake" not only me. She also got Lenka Katina, the future star of Tatu. But she did not pay attention. Unlike me, she did not give a damn what others think. And I, the little fool, climbed out of my way, trying to get behind my own. Probably, if I calmed down and, as they say, "did not glow", from me would sooner or later be left behind. But I stubbornly tried to be the center of attention. And all because of Sergei Lazarev. He liked me even before I came to the "Neposedy." And when we met, I really fell in love. Lazarev was considered in the ensemble the most beautiful and capable. What he did on stage was really impressive. Then just put the play about AIDS, Sergei played the main role. In the finals, when his hero died, I cried every time. I was completely naive, but I understood two things clearly: you can not admit Lazarev in love and in no case can you tell what is happening in my house. Compared with the very non-poor parents of most of the guys, my family was just a beggar. So I puffed, trying to match. And one day it seemed that they finally accepted me: Lazarev came up and invited me to his birthday. I decided: by all means I will look no worse than other girls. She asked her mother for her boots. Lazarev just flew on the wings, confident that I look cool. And then she heard from Seryozha: "Good boots, Constipation, you did not lend them to my grandmother?" Everyone laughed, and I, with shame and resentment, hardly fell through the ground. Since then I do not wear other people's clothes. Sometimes, the girls changed their clothes. I gave mine, but never put on strangers. But even after this humiliation, falling in love with Lazarev did not pass.
Who is the newcomer?
Zavodiloy in their company was Julia Volkova, and I convinced myself that it was she who was trying to get Seryozhka on me. Parents did not complain - what's the point? But one day she could not stand it. Has received so insulting эсэмэску, that burst into tears directly at mum. "Give me the phone here," she demanded. I called back the number from which the message came and found out that the author of this abomination was Vlad Topalov: the owner of the mobile phone immediately handed it over. Then my mother typed Topalova. "Once again, offend my daughter, I'll tear your ears off and pull out the tongue," my mother said quite calmly. She spoke harshly, as with an adult. And she said goodbye: "And now, run to Papa." Topalov did not run to his father. Only many years later I learned that in his life everything was far from as cloudless as it seemed from the side: a rich father left his mother for the sake of a young man, Vlad's relations with him did not add up ... I think that each of the children I considered lucky, had their own problems. But they diligently pretended that everything was fine. And I did the same. She hid her life outside the ensemble with all her might. But it did not always work. We go, for example, on tour in a train. I take out the food that my mother prepared for me on the road, I try to treat everyone, "f-oo-oo-oo," "friends" frown, "Zadorozhnaya, why are you stinking with your cutlets?" And they're going to lunch in the dining car. And I, smiling crookedly, I say that I'm not hungry. Because I do not have money for a restaurant. And cutlets, which were rejected with such contempt by the guys, for us and my mother - a luxury. After all, more recently, not enough money, even for bread. We then just left the pope. It was a very difficult decision for my mother. She realized for a long time that the move to Moscow did not change him at all. When the euphoria of the first months of life in the capital passed, old habits took their toll, his father again took a drink. My mother begged me to think again, several times I was sent to him to be coded. But the further, the more aggressive he reacted to requests to stop drinking. One day my mother came home upset and said that the airline in which she worked was ruined. We lost the only source of income, because my father, like most of the military in the early nineties, practically did not pay a salary.
"Do you understand that another week - and we will not have anything to eat?" His mother asked. "When will you begin to bring money to the house?"
"I am the son of asphalt," the father replied. "I will never work with my hands." I can serve, and I will not be making jokes on construction sites and will not trade in the market! And we went to the market with my mother. We took some goods for sale, came to Lyubertsy, and we do not know what to do next. Mom, although she graduated from the trade institute, never sold on the market. We stood with her at the fence, spread out the goods. Around the same unemployed, cash-strapped traders than they have. I was about eleven, but I well remembered the general feeling of some kind of hopelessness that was hovering over our "podsaborny" series. "Hey, what are you doing!" - Mom embraced me, pressed me to her. "Everything will be fine!" Indeed, by the evening we even had some revenue. Enough to buy vegetables and a little meat. Our "market economy" lasted a couple of months. We lived in constant fear. Every now and then heard: the mafia, bandits, rackets, cops ... But, thank God, it turned out. And then my mother found a job, and I got a job at Neposedy. "Well, now we will live," I rejoiced. - I will also have a salary! "The first pay-a hundred rubles-was proudly brought home. Rather, what was left of her after buying a beautiful hair clip and flowers for her mother. But the hopes that my earnings will correct the financial situation were not justified: they ate "Neposedy" more than they brought. Costumes, recordings of songs, classes with the teacher on vocals - everything had to be paid for. I did not have to count on my father. He almost did not get out of drinking bouts and completely ceased to perceive reality. Mom suffered, probably, for the sake of having a "full family". She saw that I love my dad no matter what. But one day it happened, after which it became clear: you can not go on like this. We had a dog, a pit bull named Dean. The only person she listened to was her father. And then one day I returned from school. I look - my father, drunk, sleeps on the couch. I would not wake him, but then the phone rang - some man asked me to urgently call Sergey Dmitrievich. I went to my father, shook him by the shoulder. Dean, lying nearby, growling menacingly: they say, do not approach the owner. I did not pay attention, and then the dog rushed at me. The jaws of the pit bull closed on my leg. As I broke out of the teeth of a powerful fighting dog - I do not remember. I remember only that I tried to protect my face. In the end, I managed to close in the bathroom and call my mom: "Come, please, soon ... I was bitten by Dina." Mom came very quickly, but during this time my clothes managed to become red with blood. In the hospital they said:
- Great blood loss. Lacerated wound of the leg. Torn off part of the buttocks. We will impose seams ... well and forty jabs just in case. Suddenly the dog is mad.
- Please sew carefully, - mother begged - Nastya is a future artist.
Return
We went home only to collect things. And father all this time continued to sleep peacefully on the couch! My mother rented an apartment on the outskirts of Moscow, completely empty - so it was cheaper. At first I had to sleep on the floor. We even did not have any dishes, only two spoons and two plates. Then they bought a kettle, a saucepan ... We had no one to hope for, the phrase became beloved: "It's hard today, but tomorrow it will be easier. We are together, and we are very strong. " And slowly everything began to improve. On the day of salary, my mother and I put our earnings together, sat down in the kitchen and decided what we would spend first. The financial flowering usually happened in December - for "Fidget" New Year's holidays were the most "bread" time. Since the twelve years I spent all the winter holidays on the "Christmas trees". In the ensemble of my family problems, no one even suspected. I would rather die than let someone know about how I live. Mom understood and supported me. At that time shoes were wearing fashion on the platform, "like the Spice Girls." In such already flaunted Malinovskaya and Volkova. And my mother bought me these shoes, although we had very little money. "Are you trying for Lazarev?" - the girls asked sarcastically when they saw the new thing. All around knew that I was in love with Sergei. I think, for him, my feelings were not a secret. But he pretended that he did not notice anything. At one of the parties, Zhenya Tremasova came up to me: "Look, my guy has arrived here, and I do not want to talk to him. Help me out, talk to him, distract him somehow. " Why not help, it's nothing to me ... I was talking with an unfamiliar young man, who was all trying to escape, to find Zhenka, who had disappeared somewhere. When he managed to get rid of me, I looked around the hall in search of Lazarev. And then Julia Malinovskaya approached me. "Do you all dry on Serega? She asked mockingly. - There's your Lazarev, with Zhenya Tremasova behind the column kissing. So nothing shines on you. " My lips trembled treacherously. I myself knew that with Sergei I have no chance. I'm all strangers to them, these beautiful, rich boys and girls. I'm not their blood. Nevertheless, on my fifteenth birthday, I called the whole ensemble. To celebrate decided in the club "The Fifth Element" - this place was considered in their company "cool". I myself invited Lazarev to the dance. Seryozha did not refuse and even treated without the usual jokes in my address - after all, the birthday girl ... For him this dance meant nothing. And I thought: here they are, the happiest moment in my life. As soon as the next song began to sound, Vlad Topalov suddenly came up to me: "Let's go, Zadorozhnaya, we'll dance." What he had in mind, I found out in a minute. In front of all Topalov sharply pressed me to the post and began to kiss. In the first moments I did not even resist, so was stunned. And then I realized that the whole company was staring at us, including Lazarev. Does he do it for a dispute? Well then, look! Kissed Vlad well, and I answered him. Yes, so that all around stunned. And not a single living soul knew that this was my very first kiss. In this sense, I was a "late" girl. Perhaps, because I never considered myself beautiful and even pretty. And the baiting in the "Fidgets" made me believe that I was just ugly. My career prospects were also not very high.
Who is guilty
"If anyone" shoots ", it's not Zadorozhnaya," the leaders of the ensemble said. The father, whom I sometimes told about my affairs, also did not add to me optimism: "You're wasting time. It would be better to prepare for the legal. " It was a pity to hear such tears. Sometimes I wanted to throw everything and run from "Neposed", stop being a "whipping girl". But then it would turn out that the father is right ... And I decided: I will not go to work and fight for nothing. I'll prove to everyone that I'm not a weakling. The fighting spirit did not last long. Long-term persecution did its job: by fifteen years in my own eyes I was an ugly duckling, and without any hope to become a swan. I graduated from the tenth grade. In the summer we all ensemble went to the children's film festival in "Eaglet". Just at this time, the company "Sinebridge" conducted a set of actors in the series "Simple Truths". Of course, everyone went to the casting. But to the full amazement of the guys, the role was offered only to me. Learning who to play, I was terribly surprised: Angelica Seliverstov - a bright girl, a model. Found a beauty! There are no breasts, braces on my teeth, hair of indistinct ash-brown color ... But when Masha Tsigal, who developed images for the series, persuaded me to repaint myself in a blonde, I was transformed. In addition, the atmosphere on the set was completely different. Nobody laughed at me, did not consider me ugly. Tanya Arntgolts, Tolik Rudenko, Misha Policiemaco, with whom I had my first screen kiss - all behaved very friendly. On the set, I noticed the director Lina Avdienko and invited to appear in the video "Semantic hallucinations" - "Why trample on my love." The clip began to twist on MTV, I looked and thought: "Why, I'm no worse than other girls, quite nice ..." But soon they explained to me again how much, this time at school.
- Well, what have you done to make it in a video? - pestered classmates.
"I did not do anything like that!"
"You're all lying, we know how they get on television!" Certainly by blatu crawled or gave someone to.
One day before the lesson in physical education, I accidentally heard one girl say to the other: "And let this actress squeeze her nose." I did not attach importance - well, they will not fight me! During the lesson, one of the "people's avengers" called me, I turned around, and a heavy basketball ball flew into my face. As a memory from the school, there was a hump in the nose - the result of a fracture. And in the summer camp, female envy almost cost me my life. By the time I was already free from braces and a little rounded, the figure became feminine. Besides, I was a "girl from the TV", so the guys behind me followed me - schoolchildren and counselors. The girls immediately made it clear that they do not like such a situation. But what could I do ?! I wake up somehow at night - the pillow is wet and my hand burns for some reason. She turned on the light and gasped: the whole bed was covered in blood, and the blade of the razor stuck out of my hand, which was put under my pillow ... I waited for the graduation as manna from heaven. It seemed like: I'll graduate from school and start another life. And it happened. On the set of the MTV program "12 evil spectators", where I was invited as a participant in the video, I met producer Peter Sheksheev. There is love at first sight, and here, whatever the "yellow" press wrote, there was a friendship at first sight. Peter quickly realized what was happening to me. "Who told you that you are uninteresting and untalented? Immediately throw this fool out of your head! "He demanded. And he announced to my complexes a real war. If someone complimented me, Petya would say: "Listen! It's true! "It was he who supported me before the entrance exams in GITIS, and I did it on the first attempt. At first, fellow students reacted cautiously: "Star. Now he will come with a crown on his head. " But very soon they realized that I was an absolutely simple person. And we made friends. "Start going to castings," advised Petro, "do not waste time." At the auditions, I was terribly clamped. I came to Mosfilm or the Gorky Film Studio painted like a doll. I did not know how to behave. "Be yourself," Shakeshyev taught. - Remember: most of all directors appreciate the naturalness and sincerity. " I tried, I worked on myself, but over and over again I heard: "Unfortunately, you do not fit us. The project needs a media person. "
The Nightmare Forever
This phrase became my nightmare. I was in a vicious circle: unknown actors are not needed by anyone, but how to achieve fame if they do not give a chance? So at the last moment I was "unfolded" from the films "Wolfhound", "Dandies", "Call me Jinn", "Young and Happy". "You need to get used to the party," said Petro. And he started to take me to social events: music, movies, television. I got acquainted with people, literally dragged me by the scruff of dark corners, where I wanted to score, and made me communicate: "This is the real school of survival for you. You can interest these people - you won. " I quickly realized that Petya was right. Gradually they began to recognize me. Cute, non-binding acquaintances appeared. My face began to appear in the pages of society's chronicle. At first they wrote "Peter Sheksheev with a companion", then - "Peter Sheksheev with actress Nastya Zadorozhnaya". Send the first sentence. The work was offered also by those who in their time coldly set "You do not fit us". I could hardly restrain myself from saying: "I'm still the same, my dear! Where did you look when I came to castings for you ?! "All my thoughts were only about work and study. But here on our course there was a new student, funny and charming. Everywhere he walked with drumsticks and tapped tunes. We became friends, I thought that we have much in common. Once he was kissing me at a party in a hostel, but that was the end of it. And in the summer, after I passed the exams and left with my mother to rest at sea, I received from him an esemes-ku: "I love you." Wow, I think. Why did it happen? The whole next course he tortured me with his confessions. I took it, as they say, by the frost, and one day I gave in: "Okay, let's try it." But as soon as we started the novel, we completely stopped talking normally, we quarreled constantly. He arranged scenes for any occasion:
"Why are you late?" Where was it? Can not you come to the lecture on time?
I, too, did not remain in debt:
- What are you stuck with ?! What kind of habit do I have to teach?
Behind these ideas followed the whole course. Just go into the audience, and the people are already casually rubbing their hands: "Now someone's blood will be shed!" He always found a reason for frustration. You pay little attention - it's bad. Much means, in some way to blame. And one day I suddenly realized that he was fond of playing this sadness, depressed. Such a masochistic energy vampire. In the end, this state became normal for him, but for me it turned into a problem. I sat at a lecture and thought: will he come today with his eternally dull face or not? One winter, in a fierce frost, our common friend called:
"Nastya, save!" He shaved his head and opened the windows in the apartment.
I immediately arrived. I ask:
- Why are you doing it?
"I want to die!"
It was bad for him, but I did not know how to change it. I just felt: what is happening between us is wrong. After all, he purposefully raised in me a guilt complex. Probably, on this our "novel" also held on: I could not abandon it, because I was afraid that he would suffer, he would perish without me. We met and disbanded until we graduated from the institute. After the graduation they said goodbye and did not call each other any more. I sighed with relief: finally! Then I met him on the set of the TV series "Club". He changed a lot - he became calm, smiling, joked a lot. When he was told "You need to play a strong love for Nastya," we laughed cheerfully: "Well, will we turn the past?" I decided to seriously sing at the institute. It remained my main dream. When Sheksheyev said this, he suggested:
"Well, let's work on the album."
"What money?"
"First we'll select a repertoire, but there will be money."
First recording
The first recording was done in the studio of Yuri Aizenshpis. We did not have business cooperation with Yuri Shmilevich - no contracts and no money. He just gave us his studio and said: "Try it." Sheksheev found wonderful teachers on vocals, first authors, songs ... The team began to assemble. I was concerned only with the financial question: the work was carried out on Petina's personal money. "You will become famous - you will give," - he dismissed. Then Petro struck my first song on the radio. When I and my classmates heard me sing on Radio Next, I was jumping with joy all over GITIS. The album has not been fully heard yet, but the rumor has already started that Zadorozhnaya is a good singer. And I was showered with proposals to try out different girls' groups. The most tempting I discussed with Petro. But, as a rule, he did not share my enthusiasm: "If you go to the group, you'll quickly fly up, quickly appear on the covers. But you will sing only what you say, and not what you want yourself. Know how to wait. " I know the reputation of most of the participants in these groups. They are called roughly, but aptly: "singing cowards". So she said to herself: "This will not happen to me!" When I was confirmed for the main role in the TV series "Club", many saw this as the "hairy paw" of Sheksheyev. In fact, Petro did not lobby me, I passed the casting on general grounds. At first I was delighted, and then I read the script and was frightened: so many frank scenes, why should I? But the producers persuaded: "You are an actress, this is also part of your work!" The shooting of the first bed scene was a real torture for me. There is nobody in the studio, except for the cameraman and director. But I still did not know what to do with embarrassment: I was sitting naked on the bed, next to me was my partner Petya Fedorov. Although he was brave, he was as shy as mine. "Motor! The shooting has gone! Nastya, sit on him riding! Why are you so wooden? Will you move today? Stop! Come on, we're wasting our time! "I suddenly began to laugh like an abnormal one: it was very stupid of it all to look from the outside. "Do we have a film set or a kindergarten here?" The director got angry. As a result, I "jumped" on Fedorov thirteen hours! Then spectators tormented me with questions: "And you really had sex? What did you feel? "Yes, I did not feel anything good! Cutting the frames from this scene MTV channel several months without stopping chased at any time of the day. I became famous for my sighs, ohms and rolling my eyes. Mom turned away for the first time, switched the channel: "I can not look at this". But then she relented: "I like it. You are very beautiful". Serial popularity has benefited my singing career. I finally released the album. Petro organized the first solo concert. After singing the final song "Budu", I looked into the hall and thought: "I did it! I myself! "And burst into tears. The audience shouted: "Nastya, we love you!", "Bravo!", "Nastya, we are with you!" And I bit my lips: why did not Papa have time to see this? After the concert, my mother said: "Stasenka, he is proud of you. I'm sure". And with a soul like a stone removed. Appeared suddenly so much strength that they nowhere to put it. Energy demanded an exit. I did a lot of shooting, touring, practically settled in trains and airplanes. She raised her hands about questions about her private life: yes, where can I find time for this? But when I was invited to the "Star Ice" project, I agreed without hesitation: when there will still be an opportunity to get such an experience!
Everything new, all first
The first training lasted only two hours: skates rubbed, muscles ached, bruises I lost count. The organizers still could not decide who would be my partner. After another training, I went to the concert, worked, distributed autographs to fans and went to the dressing room. Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I open it: on the threshold of a young man with a bouquet of flowers and a red suitcase. I watch - and behind him the camera crew.
- Meet Nastya, your partner in "Ice" Sergei Slavnov, silver medalist of the European Championship.
- And why with a suitcase?
"It's your birthday," Slavnov said, embarrassed. - This is for you as a gift. Skates to carry.
The fact that I will be "reduced" with Slavnov, the organizers of the show announced directly:
- We need a novel, it's good for the rating.
- No way! You rating, and my mom - a heart attack! She once already read lies about the fact that I'm pregnant with the actor, who was shot in the video. More to me such happiness is not necessary!
And, frankly speaking, Slavnov at first did not make a special impression on me. Everything changed after I got into the hospital. Filming "Club" took place fifty kilometers from Moscow. In the city of Losino-Petrovsky, which we, the actors, poetically nicknamed Los Petros. There, in Los Petros, I felt bad - abdominal pain, nausea ... While I could, I suffered - do not disrupt the same shooting. Finally I could not stand it. I was urgently transported to Moscow.
"Peritonitis," the doctors said. - Girl, why did not you turn? You could not not feel it!
I answer, clenched teeth, not to yell at the pain:
- I had no time...
Me immediately on the operating table. At four in the morning I woke up after anesthesia, I try to move and understand that I do not feel my left leg.
- Oh my God! I scream. - I was paralyzed!
"Nastya, it's all right!" Calm down! - From the next bed, my mother stood up. "You've been given laparoscopy." Through a vein in the leg, anesthesia was injected, so you do not feel it yet.
Expectation
A couple of days in the hospital I fell asleep and was happy that I did not have to run anywhere. Called friends, congratulated on his second birthday - the risk to life was really very serious. And then Sergei came to me with the crew. While they were figuring out how best to shoot, Slavnov sat down on the bed, said quietly: "I did not know anything ..." - and took my hand. Probably, every person in life has moments when everything becomes extremely clear. I felt the warmth of his palm and forgot about everything. Suddenly there was a certainty that everything would be all right. There is no rational explanation for this. We Slavnov only began to ride, really did not get acquainted. But I did not want him to leave ... Then Seryozha said that he also very well remembered this moment: "We looked at each other in a different way. You were so weak, touching. " The doctor appointed a rehabilitation period of two weeks, but it was already the sixth day that he had to get on the skates. In the shopping complex, a presentation of the show "Star Ice" was staged. When I appeared in a wheelchair, the people were shocked! "Let's skate, I'll go out on the ice," I say. Everyone looked at me like an abnormal. And only Seryozha understood. He, an athlete, is used to skating in any situation. It hurts, it does not hurt - the show should go on. With difficulty, overcoming the pain and weakness, crawled out onto the ice. And immediately I felt Seryozhin's support, his strong, reliable hands. The whole number, he literally drove me. And at the end, when I just did not lose consciousness, whispered, touching the lips of my ear:
- Zadorozhnaya, give me your phone.
And I, in spite of the infernal pain, laughed:
- Well, write it down!
The spark that has slipped between us noticed everything. And it began. First Maxim Galkin joked:
"What a lovely couple!" Why have they not yet married?
Kolya Basques, a broad-minded man, said:
"If you decide, I'll pay you a wedding."
"I'll be a toastmaster," Dima Guberniev supported.
Well and jokes
To be honest, I did not like these jokes. Most annoyed that the producers still got what they wanted: the press began to write that I had a novel with Slavnov. I was very worried about my mother. She read newspapers, listened to the radio and naively believed everything that journalists say. One day, it almost came to a heart attack. My mother was driving and heard on the radio that the date of our wedding with Slavnov had already been fixed. From surprise she threw the steering wheel. Rushing to meet the car barely managed to dodge a head-on collision. "Mom," I persuaded, "we have no relationship, we are just friends!" Whom did I try to persuade - my mother or myself? Yes, there was no novel with Sergei, but I understood that we are drawn to each other. True, I avoided talking about this. I did not even know if he had a girlfriend or not. I climbed the Internet, read that he was not married, that he had his own school of figure skating in St. Petersburg, and that together with his partner Julia Obertas Seryozha was going to perform at the Olympic Games. Not much. It turned out that the girl still is. He told me himself during one of our endless phone conversations. And we really talked a lot. When I went to Los Petros, to shoot "Club", I was afraid to fall asleep from fatigue behind the wheel. I called Seryozha, and we talked all the way. About anything, only not about us ... And then I flew to New York, to be removed in "Love in a big city". And so I felt sad without Sergei! I thought: "I'll return to Moscow, we will continue training, then something will be decided." But everything remains the same. From this uncertainty, from the undisguised hostility of the judges at the show, I got irritated, began to cry often, threatened to quit everything.