A wise custom
Many know about the tradition of not showing a child in the first month of life. In the first 40 days of life, the mother with the crumb was in the bath (since in the past it was the cleanest place) under the supervision of the midwife and close relatives. For the remaining adult family members and friends, the entrance to the newborn was banned. All relatives had strict responsibilities. They took care of their mother, cleaned up, cooked, taught her how to care for the baby, played with older children, but did not interfere in the establishment of emotional contact between mother and baby.
What did the ancestors want to teach us?
This custom has a profound psychological meaning. First, in the first month of the child's life, the mother must fully immerse himself in it, not distracted either by the household or the guests who come in. She needs to understand the baby's needs, learn how to satisfy them and establish emotional contact. This stage learns to interact with each other, their states are so dependent on each other that if one is bad, then the other is experiencing emotional discomfort. The kid with whom the mother is constantly interacting and behave is calmer, which means that the mother will also relax You will feel like a successful mother only when your baby begins to show positive emotions, and for this you need to "get involved" in the child, learn correctly, take care of him and guess what he needs right now before manifesting negative emotions (crying) Adjust to the crumbs, studying the regime of his feeding, wakefulness and sleep.To learn how to maintain the emotions of the child at a positive level.Only in constant communication with the baby you will understand what he needs. Secondly, assistants should take care of the organization of physical care for mother and baby, as well as for older children, without violating the emotional contact of mother with older children. Thirdly, if it is assumed that in the first year of life a child will be looked after by someone else, including a nanny, then it is better to establish an emotional connection with a baby in the period of newborns.
Whose regime is more important?
So, where to start? To study the needs of the baby, satisfy them, adjusting to it, thereby creating conditions for life. Often, mother makes the mistake of "inserting" the child from birth into a schedule, which, she thinks (often based on the advice of more experienced parents), needs a baby. Then the baby begins not only to cry a lot, sleep and eat badly, but also get sick - just because he needs to get his mother to his rhythms, to adjust for themselves, because during the illness, the mother does not adhere to the regime she invented. "As if to tell her mother her illness is: It is necessary to adjust to me, and not to adjust my regime to someone's opinion about the ideal routine. " Accordingly, if the mother immediately after the birth of the child begins to adjust to him, he does not need to be sick to prove anything. It simply develops and grows healthy. But then, when you move into infancy, the task of your mother is to take everything in hand, because she already knows not only the needs of the baby, but also how to satisfy them. In infancy, it is mother who sets the regime for the baby, that with each week of his needs vary in terms of quantity or quality, but their essence does not change. It is important to understand the essence of the changes and integrate it into the children's schedule, just updating it.
There is a contact!
One of the vital needs of a newborn is to establish emotional contact with your mother! The goal of an emotional connection is love, affection and getting pleasure from communicating with each other.
Emotional communication
To become a person, a child must build a relationship with himself and realize his place in life. This can only be done through my mother: how my mother treats me, so I will treat myself. To establish a positive emotional connection with your baby, you need to know and use the components of emotional contact in interaction with him. What is meant?
♦ Eye-to-eye contact (gentle, warm look).
♦ Smile.
♦ Maternal speech, simply lisping (talking or humming, using affectionate words, increased tone of speech, stretching vowels, diminutive fondling suffixes, etc.).
♦ Tactile contact (skin-to-skin contact, stroking, kissing, touching face).
At first, almost everything depends on the mother: the crumb first studies what the mother is doing, but does not answer it (she does not yet know how). But soon the baby will learn to imitate his mother and answer her. And then mom will begin to rejoice that the child smiles at her. For a woman this is an achievement, and for a crumb - a rethinking of myself in this world: my mother used to smile, because I am, and now she is smiling and because I can do something! So, I will learn to do something else more often to see her joy.
Continuous pleasures!
Feeding, sleeping and waking are also vital needs. In the period of the newborn, it is necessary to satisfy them so that the child understands: eating, staying awake and sleeping is very pleasant.
Feeding
If the baby is hungry, there can not be any talk about establishing contact, because hunger leads to discomfort. But in itself the process of feeding, its physiological aspect to attachment does not affect. Hunger is necessary, but not enough. Therefore, it is better to simultaneously satisfy hunger and build interaction on positive emotions, including in feeding all the components of establishing contact. In this process you need to get involved, without being distracted by anything else.
Sleep
Since a woman is just learning to be a good mom, the child can not sleep very much at first. After all, the baby is at rest only when he feels: Mom knows exactly what he is asking for and will satisfy his need. While this does not happen several times, the crumb will be worried. Let's repeat: the constant presence of the mother is the main condition for the development and calmness of the baby. And sleep is no exception. Therefore, sleep will be calm, and the child will wake up rested only if the mother was nearby. Even in a dream, he feels the rhythm and style of movement, the smell and sounds of Mom. If you go to bed with him, then the baby suffices your smell and the sounds of breathing. If it is a night dream, then a child who sleeps not only in one room with mom but also at a great distance will wake up constantly to check where mom is. If the baby sleeps next to the mother (at a distance no more than an elongated arm), then wakes up only for feeding. But what to do if it's a day, and you can not go to bed with him, since there are deeds, and there are no assistants? Then it is better to take the crumb with you and keep it on your hands (convenient for this purpose sling). The kid will feel the familiar style and rhythm of the movement, as well as the smell, which means it's easy to sleep.
Waking
In the first month of life during the wakefulness of a healthy baby, there is very little time to communicate using all the components of establishing contact. Already after about 3 weeks you will notice the first reaction of the baby to the one whom he considers "his". At the same time, the child will react to the voice of the mother, when she is not yet in sight. In the fourth week the baby starts to smile. And in a few days there are vocalizations: he tries to make sounds. At the same time, there is a motor revival: rapid movements with alternate bending and straightening of limbs, as well as blinking. The whole complex of responses occurs on the second month and is called the revitalization complex. If it manifests itself in full, then the baby develops normally. The period of the newborn has ended, the period of infancy begins.
What else do you need to know about this complex?
♦ A complex of animation, the child not only shows a response, but also attracts the attention of an adult, if necessary now.
♦ The Kid uses different components of the revitalization complex, depending on the situation. For example, if "your" person is far away, then to attract his attention, the crumb will show motor animation and vocalizations: and if "his" is next to him or the baby in his arms, he will look with his eyes and smile.
♦ This complex lasts for about three to four months, and then its components are transformed into more complex forms of behavior. With the help of a revitalization complex, a small child expresses sincere joy, showing that his mother has become his close, dear person, that he trusts you and loves you! If you get such recognition - the foundation of warm relations between you has already been laid!