If the child is not afraid of anything, he probably has health problems. This conclusion was reached by scientists, proving a peculiar pattern and even the benefit of children's fears. There is fear - a useful gift from nature: we have warned him of danger with his help. And we learn this in early childhood. About what are childhood fears, their origins and how to prevent them and will be discussed below.
Just imagine what will happen if we do not be afraid of anything. For example, speeding in the car will only give us adrenaline, without warning about anything deplorable. The child also needs to be afraid of something. So he will be prepared in advance for the fact that in life there is also something to be feared. Fears change with a person with age. What in childhood causes a shiver, the adult does not make an impression. However, some fears develop into real phobias and remain with a person for the rest of his life. Here are the most common childhood fears and how to behave with them to us, adults.
A vacuum cleaner
Many children simply experience animal horror when cleaning an apartment with a vacuum cleaner. And, react to this subject so badly mostly older children - from two years old. Children are afraid not only of what they see, but of what they hear. Adults on their own experience know that noise is not necessarily associated with risk, but a small child perceives everything differently. He can not be completely sure what this terrible thing sounds like. He draws an analogy and decides that this buzzing monster will necessarily eat it or simply cause pain. To help the child in this situation, offer him to touch the vacuum cleaner in the off state, stroke him with the words: "You see, he's kind. It's just that sometimes she sings loudly. " But be careful - do not use force! Forcing a child to confront his fear is reckless and stupid. This will only give the opposite result. With such an influence, fear and anxiety can lead to fixation for a long time. You can try to buy a toy vacuum cleaner and teach the child to play with it. If the kid is just afraid of this panic, do not turn on the vacuum cleaner with it. Fear will eventually pass by itself, and forcibly expel it all the same does not work.
Kindergarten
It's always stressful, both for the child and for the mother herself. But the children go to the garden in different ways. Some get used quickly, and others hysterically scream and cry for several weeks and even months. For a small child, the worst thing is a farewell to the mother, when he remains alone in a somewhat strange place. New habits in nutrition, new toys, many other people's children - everything here is different from home. For many children, "other" means "terrible." Little children take the change very slowly, some of them take a little longer. In the locker room, bid farewell to the child calmly, without sucking, and quickly enough. Do not prolong the farewell time - so you inadvertently give the child to understand that everything is fine and that's as it should be. Under good conditions in the garden, children usually get used to it sooner or later. Some even get so attached to the garden that they do not want to go home afterwards.
Doctor
Who among us at the sight of a white robe does not feel that the heart beat harder? From the very first sight the doctor does not cause the child to have pleasant associations. He inspects him attentively, says something in an imperative tone, forces him to undress, applies a strange cold pipe to him ... In addition, the traumas of children connected with staying in the hospital can be the source of long-term fears. They sometimes last for many months. During this period, please try to be very gentle with the children. Do not scare him by the doctors ("if you do not eat, you will get sick and return to the hospital"). It is better just to enjoy the fact that the stage with the hospital has already ended. Play with the child in the doctor. It is better if the baby is the doctor, and you are his patient. Usually children like these games and over time the fear of doctors and the hospital goes away.
Darkness
What is a sin to hide, many adults are afraid of the dark. Although we understand that there is no one in the room, but we feel extremely uncomfortable there. What can we say about the child! In the dark, we can not be assured of anything, therefore, begins to "fool" the imagination (which grows with age!). Consciousness begins to draw terrible images. Fear of darkness is one of the most primitive human emotions. Therefore, the fight against this fear is doomed to failure - you just have to have patience and wait out a difficult period. Never force a child to fight against himself by shutting him in a dark room! Do not shame him. Let the fear pass with time, leaving no trace on the child's psyche.
Ghosts
In the head of each child is full of ghosts, dragons and monsters. This stage is passed by every child. In two or three years he still can not completely distinguish between what is real and what happens only in his imagination. This is the most common of children's fears: about their origins and how to prevent them read below.
If your kid is being pursued by monsters - ask him to draw what he is afraid of. Then you can crumple this paper with a picture and put it in the basket or laugh at the monster, finishing it with a funny face. And one more thing: remember that children hear and see much more than you can imagine!
Lubricate the face and hands of the child with a regular baby cream and explain that monsters can not tolerate this smell. Or sprinkle the room with a freshener, calling it "monster repeller". A kid can not know that this is a common spray for air refreshing.
Place a night light in the child's room. When the child grows up - he will gradually get used to sleep in the dark. He will ask you to turn it off or he will do it himself.
Do not let a small child watch TV! You can not imagine how much even in children's programs of different monsters, vampires and ghosts!
Draw a sign with a threatening face and the inscription: "Go, monster!" Hang it on the door with the child. It's funny, but it works. Children believe that this will protect them from all ills.
Bath
Probably, the child remembers that one directly in the eyes got a foam or slipped in the bathroom. And now he is afraid that such an unpleasant incident can happen again. In addition, in the water (especially when it is too much), the baby loses control over his body, hence his fear grows. Do not use force against a child who is afraid to take a bath. It's best for you to go with him to the bath and encourage him with games. Let him enter the water on his knees, let the boats go, play with the dots. Anything, just to take off the fear of the child in front of the bathroom and the water in it. Do not be afraid to experiment - the new situation is also able to absorb the child, that he will forget about fear. Many children like to swim and such childhood fears usually do not last long. The main thing is, do not force the child to cope with this fear by force.
Toilet
Surprisingly, the toilet is a very popular "horror story". Its origins are clear: this alarm is often associated with the descent of water. The child sees that the water disappears in some deep pit. He's scared. That he himself can suck in there. Even if you think that this fear is just a whim, do not underestimate it. The reason for this fear is irrational, but fear itself is very real. Often a child can not retrain walking on a pot because of this fear of being tightened into the toilet. Strange, but this is rarely associated with a bathroom or a sink, although there, too, the water merges without a trace. Perhaps this is because of the size of the pipe itself. A wide hole is like a huge cave for a child. This is a strange, but frequent and very persistent childish fear.
Five "NOT" in the fight against childish fears
1. Do not frighten the child, even as a joke! Do not bully a wolf, uncle, a policeman and Baba Yaga. Children are very sensitive to such things. They trust you and everything you say will be taken for granted.
2. Do not mock the fears of your child! Do not humiliate him, calling him a cow or a coward. Rather, it is necessary to say: "I know that you are afraid. As I was little, I also did not want to sleep without light. And then it's gone. "
3. Do not underestimate what a small child feels. His fears are real, they torture him real. Do not think that this is nonsense and take everything seriously.
4. Do not provoke fears in children. If you are afraid of thieves, crazy drivers or illnesses - do not show it to the child. He does not need to know that you are panic afraid of spiders. He would cope with his fears - and you try to prevent them with all your might.
5. Do not overdo your guardianship. Because when you constantly tell a child: "Beware!" You code in his mind the belief that the world is a dangerous, unfriendly place. Encourage your baby to be active and explore the world.