Relations with others
How to tell the future young dad, to inform parents? A typical reaction of the future pope: "The study is not completed, there is no work that is sensible, we depend on our parents. And in general, I want to live for myself - companies, travel, discos. Do you want to deprive us of all this? "A young mother and an early pregnancy in such a situation is the main reason for this reaction of a man.
Decision
Do not be offended by such words. After all, he is telling the truth. Men mature much later than women and, if the young mother herself does not yet know how their future life will be built, then the young man even more so. Understanding this fact leads to correct and wise behavior. Experience, and even more so hysterics of a young mother and early pregnancy will not help.
Problem
Irresponsibility associated with psychological immaturity
It allows you to easily look at things, do not worry about trifles, without worrying to lead a habitual way of life - an institution, work-outs, funny companies, discos. There are many forces, the stomach does not interfere, the figure remains as slender as before, does not hurt anything, but it hurts, so it will stop. But the main thing is not to overdo it so that such serenity does not turn into tears. Frivolity in perceiving yourself pregnant can lead to serious self-frustration in the future.
Decision
To avoid the sad consequences for a young mother and an early pregnancy, make it a rule to visit a doctor regularly. In order not to be so boring, take a girlfriend with you, and if you do not have any, then insert your favorite music into the player and ...
Problem
Fantasies about the relationship with his baby
The child seems like a beautiful picture of the game "Mothers-Daughters": a pink-cheeked navel with fluffy hairs in branded clothes calmly rides in an expensive carriage, and everyone around admires. In life, the navel is not always touched, can cry, croaks, asks to eat, and it can not be abandoned, like a doll, when the game bothers. Girls, in the first days after birth, faced with such a reality, fall into confusion. They immediately decide that this is their only nightmare, so they try to transfer the entire responsibility for the child to one of the elders (mother, mother-in-law, nanny), and then suffer a sense of guilt.
Decision
To lose the illusion, go to a house where there is a baby baby. Do not have a cup of tea, but watch the "working days" of a young mother. Ask how many hours a day she manages to sleep, watch the process of feeding, changing diapers, motion sickness.
Problem
The young father is unlikely to be a good helper in the early years. A young mother and an early pregnancy that she will have to overcome have new problems and solutions.
Men generally do not take infants, they are afraid of harming them, making them hurt. But if an adult father can cope with his fears, then the twenty-year-old is hardly likely.
Decision
Try to agree in advance on the distribution of responsibilities with the young pope. But do not try to "download it in full." Let him clearly understand his area of ​​responsibility. And do not take the excuse that his job is a job, and yours is a kid and a house. After a while, the father will gladly play soccer and hide-and-seek with the child (the sex of the child does not matter), sit on his knees in front of the computer monitor, treat smoked sausage with Coca-Cola, sometimes forget to take him out of the kindergarten and carry him to night gatherings to his friends .
Problem
Strong orientation towards society
At this age it is important for a young mother to take her place in society, to make a career. And rarely who voluntarily agrees to exchange this for pots and diapers.
Decision
And do not need to change! A good young mother is not at all the one that first sacrifices everything in life for the sake of the child, and then accuses him of his failures. Two hours of quality communication, during which you entirely belong to the kid - playing, doing, walking, forgetting everything in the world, cost a whole day, aimlessly spent together. Do not give up your professional implementation. Explain to your family that the child will only get better from later on. Do not be afraid to ask for help from your mother, mother-in-law or a nanny. Distribute duties: let the assistants take care of cooking, ironing, daytime sleep, and yours will remain the most enjoyable for a young mother and child moments: an obligatory tale for the night, classes, games.
It is interesting:
In the network of shops selling children's clothing, sellers were asked to observe what the "pregnant" couples prefer. So, the future young mothers carefully chose diaper-loafers, and future dads looked at clothes for boys 4-5 years! From these observations it becomes clear what the young father of his first-born represents.
Fact
Sometimes young parents offer children to address them by name. This categorically can not be done, because, having found the older comrades in the person of Masha and Petit or Katya and Vova, the child psychologically becomes an orphan. Dad and young mother and so on will gradually become best friends, with whom it's never boring. In 20 years you can already understand that happy children are only with happy parents.
Psychological Workshop
Much in the future of a young mother and early pregnancy will depend on what kind of family model you take as an example. If there was mutual understanding in the parents' family, the girl presents herself as a mother, mentally copying her style of education. In a negative family environment, on the contrary, fears of unsuccessful upbringing of the child, loss of confidential relations arise. But from any experience, you can draw positive points. Just a part of the girls even before the birth knows how to raise a child, and the other knows how NOT to. Take a sheet of paper. Divide it into 2 columns and honestly write down what you liked about your family and what did not. Ask to do the same for your husband. Now make a list of family principles. On the left write "prohibited methods", and on the right is what you will be guided in the upbringing of the baby.