However, there is no big problem in this situation. The fact is that there are periods in child development, when a crisis in relations between children and parents is inevitable. So this type of problem is not just normal, it's common, it can be said that it is mandatory for almost every family.
Different psychologists offer different classifications of children's crises. Still, most of them make the following crises of child development: the crisis of one year, the crisis of three years, the crisis of five years, the crisis of preschool and junior school age (6-7 years), the adolescent crisis (12-15 years) and the youth crisis 18-22 years).
The emergence of each crisis in the relationship between children and parents is quite individual in time, so that the designations of age are conditional. There are children who are experiencing a crisis of three years in 2.5 years. And it happens that the teenage crisis comes closer to the age of seventeen.
In fact, children's crises are such points in the development of the child that mark the transition to a new stage of development. The acuteness of the experience of this transition period depends on the overall interaction between children and parents. So some children go through critical stages of development with scandals and complications, while in other children these stages are practically not noticeable. A crisis in a relationship may not arise if the parents are initially determined to adopt their child's growing up, or at least are minimally educated in the field of child psychology.
The most important thing that parents need to know about children's crises in order to prevent conflicts and complications in relations is the causes of crises. The main reason, as we wrote above, is the transition to a new stage of development. The child has already begun the transition to a new stage, but he is not yet mature enough for parents to accept him in a new capacity. Hence, there are multiple conflicts in the relationship of the child with the parents.
For example, at three years old the child begins to feel the need for independence for the first time. He wants to be considered with his opinion when choosing clothing or food, when choosing the time for walking and buying toys in the store. The phrase: "I myself" - becomes the most frequent in the vocabulary of the child. Many parents seem absurd such demands are still a little child, and they are against the new initiative of the child. As a result, they receive protracted hysterics, refusals to go out, dress or eat. Such acute emotional reactions as hysterics and moods are not entirely desirable even for crises, so parents should learn how to react properly to changes in a child's life.
Parents come to the aid of numerous advice and recommendations of psychologists. Let's say your three-year-old wants to dress himself, but he does not know how. Many help a series of drawings or applications that are made in conjunction with the baby, and on which the entire scheme of dressing is drawn. What is then put on - drawn items of clothing are connected by arrows, the child looks at these drawings and this makes it very easy to dress yourself. This picture can be hung in the hallway or bedroom and the child can orient himself on it. The same goes for food. Even if the baby does not know how to eat, but wants to do it himself, it is recommended to be patient and help him with advice or personal examples. How to peel a boiled egg, how to keep a spoon, so that the soup does not spill, - all this the child should be trained not to waste either his or her nerves.
The best way to respond to such crises is patience and again patience. It will reward you in the future. After all, the crisis of three years arises in the period of the child's special sensitivity to the development of independence, activity, thoughtful and purposeful attitude to life. If its riots are suppressed, then it is possible to grow up a weak-willed, uninitiated person, simply speaking - a "rag". And to correct in an adult age these unpleasant qualities of a person and human behavior will be very difficult.
If you think about the general principle of the crisis in relations between children and parents, it is easy to find similar "inconsistencies" between desire and ability at every moment of the child crisis. Teens already want to be independent, but still not mature enough and are dependent on their parents financially. This provokes problems in relations with parents. Children of preschool and primary school children already want to know how to read and write, they want to be at home the knowledge acquired at school. However, often they are not yet able to do it, which provokes hysterics and moods. The main thing is to be patient and "pull up" the child's opportunities for his new desires. And then no crises will be terrible for you!