Do not "anchor" the carapace
With kids everything is clear: for them, any new word - like a toy, which they accidentally found in the sandbox. Heard a phrase thrown by someone (in the kindergarten, in the store, on the street), here they picked it up. Children of three or four years often do not even understand the meaning of those swear words that they use in their speech. They can once or twice turn into a conversation something like this, and then safely forget about it. True, if parents become angry, dumbfounded, punished or laughed, the child in the future can specifically swear at mom and dad, checking them for strength. And maybe not to swear, but the word that caused the reaction in adults, remember for sure - psychologists call it "anchoring", fixation. Therefore, we must carefully wean the "conversation". If the child first drops an indecent layer, pretend that they have not heard anything. But with the edge of your eye, watch the child. If he is something at that moment, then, most likely, cursing is an accidental verbal find that will disappear by itself. Another thing, if the baby deliberately calls the pope a psycho, and his brother - a shit ("potty" curses at that age are especially popular) or use profanity, clearly guessing about its meaning. Strictly say that in your family is not expressed. To punish or to shame the child is not worth it: he is still very small and does not understand what he is doing, so your task is to teach him to do the right thing. A fight in response to the abuse - in general the worst of what you can think of! It turns out a double morality: mom and dad can swear, a child can not? If the child asks to explain the meaning of the rude word, act on the situation. When there is an excellent synonym, you can voice it, asking not to be expressed any more. If there are no synonyms, say firmly: "We do not know such words in our family", switching the attention of the kid to some game.
Talk to me, Mom
For about five to seven years the situation is changing - small hooligans begin to swear profanely. What for? Most often, in this way, they are trying ... to attract the attention of their parents! For example, my mother has been "hanging" for two hours on the phone, and the son is trying to tear her away from the tube without result. No "mom, let's play" does not work. But it costs him to screw up an obscene word - the tube will immediately be hung. True, the mother will first burst into angry speech, but then calm down and certainly play with him! Another reason for profanity is an attempt to imitate someone: an older brother, a cartoon character or a serial (yes, if you look at them together with the child, you will be surprised at the abundance of the words "dude", "officer", etc.). Another reason - the desire to look more authoritative and "stronger" in the eyes of peers. How to disaccustom a child from profanity?
■ Try to establish emotional contact with him now, explaining what is good and what is bad. Psychologists say: 5-7 years is the best age for instructive conversations, because many children develop a fear of social inconsistency - they are afraid not to live up to the expectations of adults.
■ For whatever reason and whatever stream of abuse your child does, stay calm. Say strictly: "I do not want to hear such expressions from you!" Do not show your confusion, otherwise the child will remember your reaction and henceforth can resort to slander to intimidate others.
Teach the child to express his anger without scolding. It's better to let him say: "How did you anger me, Mom!", Than there will be a whisper behind your back.
"Author, Drink Yadu"
With teenagers, everything is much more complicated. First, they often do not care what their parents think about their speech. Secondly, their conversation is replete with "strange" words. And this is not necessarily a mate (although it also suffices) - mostly youth slang ("loft" (brains), "tusa" (company), "shoelaces" (parents) or fashionable distortion of words hailing from internet communication (" , "krosavcheg," "preved," "pasitiffgeg," etc.) However, strangely enough, most psychologists believe that teenagers with their language should ... leave alone, even if it annoys you deadly. specialists, youth slang is a normal phenomenon: it existed, and will always exist as an indispensable attribute of teenage fashion. youth, their manner of communication is a breath of freedom in the strictly regulated world of adults, and it's also a watershed between "ours" and "not ours." Experts argue that youth slang is updated every five years, which means that phrases that drive you to frenzy, will disappear as your child grows up and he finally moves to a normal language.
Unbearable being
Adults are usually frightened by teenage hostility, which is expressed in an aggressive manner to keep and in the same manner to talk. However, psychologists urge parents not to panic - this is a normal stage of development. It turns out that from the point of view of evolution at the first stage a person perceives the world as an alien environment and defends against it as much as possible, including swear words and fists. And only with age to him comes the understanding that the world around, in general, is not so bad. Therefore, to demand from a teenager that he radiate peace - a task that is almost unreal and, moreover, quite dangerous: if a teenager constantly has to suppress his own aggressiveness, then in the future he can turn into a tyrant. Of course, this does not mean that you need to look through your fingers at the way the son tries to "give a forehead" to the first person on the line or how his daughter is rude to her grandmother. Help them "release steam" in a civilized way. Football, boxing, basketball or modern dances - any energetic motor activity leads to a balance of the nervous system.