But is it worth it to panic? This process of growing up takes place most children. This same experienced in childhood and parents, just do not remember. Children 10 years old are already smart enough to replace infantile emotional behavior with a more "advanced" logical form of influence on adults. Instead of asking for something that is coveted by hysteria or a disarming smile, children resort to more sophisticated methods: to trickery and lies. Parents often resort to prohibitions. And the curiosity of children requires finding ways to circumvent strict prohibitions. That is why children are deceiving. To some extent, this evolutionary development of the child's brain. But parents are afraid that children will remain liars for life and sound alarm.
How to start a lie
The development of children goes from simple to complex. The older the children, the more difficult it is to be educated. People are deceived at any age and it is impossible to eradicate lies. It is important that the deception does not turn into pathology. Lying not only stimulates the development of personality at 10 years of age. It leads to conflicts, misunderstandings in school, family, friends. And their distrust and dislike can lead to the formation of various complexes.
Is lying the norm?
Modern psychology s reads that lying is a normal phenomenon in the development of children. Why? In the first 5 years there is a rapid psychological and physical formation of the child. Children receive a lot of information and learn how to use it in everyday life. Their thinking tries to separate reality from fiction. As soon as the children begin to talk, they are based on logical reflections. Children study the world around them, and what they can not understand, complete with fantasies. This brightly reflects the game "daughter-mother", where everything happens for fun.
Young children are very attracted to adult things. Children want to try on adult clothes, touch a valuable thing, try "adult" food. But adults often forbid touching their belongings. To the requests "I want" and "give" one answer - "you can not! ". But children's curiosity is stronger than prohibitions. They begin to think how to get the forbidden. Learn the levers of influence on the psyche of parents. By trial and error, the keys are selected. And at some point they notice that one of the effective ways is when an inoffensive fantasy, and when it's an outright lie. Adult restrictions are the impetus to the first fabrications of the child. At first parents easily distinguish fantastic stories of fables from reality. But gradually children, especially in 10 years, come up with more and more real situations that could actually happen. And it is more difficult for adults to decide where lies are, and where the truth is.
Causes of child fraud
Most often, children resort to deception while communicating with other children. As for adults, children are important status - what they think about friends and girlfriends. They educate about some interesting situation, embellish the achievements of their parents, hyperbolize the home environment. And their computer game is steeper, and Dad is the strongest, and Mom is the most beautiful.
Another reason for the deception is the desire to get dry from the water during childish quarrels. Children often blame someone else. They still do not understand the negative consequences of their lies, that the innocent child will get under the first number. And this is most offensive - to be guilty without guilt. And the children all the same on whom to get rid of guilt. It can be other children, and the little dog Juchka, an inanimate object or a natural phenomenon. And the liars are defending their version of what is happening. It is difficult to find out the truth.
Naturally, often adults themselves teach their examples of lies. The pursuit of material goods often prevails over the search for spiritual values. It is noticed that in devout parents, children seldom resort to deception for the sake of some benefit. And in families where money is used most of all, lies are a habitual phenomenon.
Often, the deception is caused by the desire to look older among peers. In this case, the terms embellishment, hyperbole, and grafting are more appropriate. But among fantasies, a more disgraceful lie for friendships can be born. Children under 10 years old, with frequent contact with older children, begin to resort to "prohibited" methods at 9 and 8 years.
Bragging lies can cause the opposite feeling - envy - among peers who are not very sophisticated in deception. Children can believe in the word of a stormy fantasy of a friend or girlfriend. They are not yet able to distinguish lies from the truth. Therefore, they begin to envy others. Childish envy can provoke child theft. Or spoil the character with avarice. Lying is the same childish scream. Often children are hard-lied when parents do not pay proper attention to them. In the absence of communication, children are looking for ways to reach their parents.
How to prevent fraud
Do not make tragedy with a natural learning process. Children's deception is often a fantasy, a game of imagination. To sophisticated logical tricks children of 10 years are not able to resort. Though simple receivers nevertheless apply. To the question: "Vovochka, did you do your homework? "Which of us did not answer in the affirmative, just to break out into the street to friends? However, when pathological lies are necessary to think about the causes. And they lie more often in the family. Children after all learn from adults!
If parents notice that the child is lying with selfish goals, there may be gaps in the parent-child relationship. We need to analyze the situation. The child just does not lie like that. Something compels him to resort to "forbidden" methods. It is important not to react angrily to lies, but to make it clear that parents still love their grown-up child as before. Children should see that they are more expensive for parents than an extra penny.
Mayakovsky composed a brilliant work about what is good and what is bad. Parents should not be reread it. A child is good to know when he does badly. It is impossible to completely eradicate lies in children. But you can clarify the concepts of "polite lies", lies for good. If you give an uninteresting gift to your birthday, it is not necessary to speak out loud about it and offend the guest. He wanted to please!
Why do children who are deceiving in 10 years strain their parents so much? Yes, because children are a reflection of their parents. After all, adults themselves resort to deception and do not want to admit it.