The needs for recognition and love are the basic needs of man. In the famous Maslow pyramid, they stand on the fourth and third positions respectively, i.e. right after safety and banal physical needs.
Naturally, children who are just beginning their life, love and recognition, are much more important than adults, who have already achieved a lot and achieved it. But often "flowers of life" do not receive care and attention in sufficient quantity. Today, parents are completely absorbed in their hard work. Mothers leave early maternity leave early, so as not to "ruin" their careers or simply not to get bored at home, fathers work from morning till night, and often sit at computer games, completely oblivious to their children. As a result, children find themselves in the care of usually elderly grandparents who simply do not keep up with their grandchildren, and quite often they are also engaged in by outsiders - nannies, governesses and educators of nurseries and kindergartens.
What is left for the child in this situation? How can he get the love and attention of the people most dear to him? Disease in the child as a way to attract attention? The answer is one - get sick. Firstly: it is not difficult, especially in the Russian climate, and it is easy to feign with a national dislike for doctors. And secondly: he probably remembered that when he fell ill the last time, the whole family was spinning around him, fulfilling his every whims and demands. That's how the child starts to get sick all the time regardless of weather conditions and epidemiological situation.
This does not mean that children should be scolded for every runny nose or cough, suspecting something is wrong. This means that they need to be loved, not only (and not so much) when they get sick, but always. Love the way they are, just for what they are. Moreover, children should receive attention from both parents, if possible. Moms are responsible for helping with mental problems, and the popes - for teaching reading, writing, some kind of labor skills ...
Say kind words to your child, stroke him on the head, kiss and hug him. Psychologists say that just for survival, your child needs four hugs a day, and that he feels happy - he needs to embrace eight times! How many times have you hugged your child today?
We must praise our offspring and encourage all of his undertakings, we should be proud and brag about it, there is nothing to worry about, a child should hear and know that he is valuable to you and is not indifferent to you. Empathize and empathize with your children, be interested in them, their deeds, because children's affairs are just as important, and maybe even more, important than adults.
Here are some more tips from professional psychologists:
- Do not constantly tell the children that they will necessarily fall ill if their feet are wet, they do not put on a scarf, run into a frost before a walk, etc. - it can push them to search for themselves anxious symptoms of impending disease, and even to their invention.
- Treat the child with folk remedies (of course, if he has a common cold, and there is no particular reason for the excitement). This is more useful, and will give your child to understand that the medicine is not a panacea. It is also worthwhile to instill in the child the rules of a healthy lifestyle and a sense of responsibility for one's health.
- It is necessary to teach children clearly articulate their emotions, do not hesitate to express them. Perceive the child's words with all seriousness, without jokes, he too can have serious problems. It's better to hear: "I'm sick", "I'm sad", "I'm afraid" than "I'm sick", when your child just needs care and attention.
- If you have reason to suspect a child that he is feigning illness - do not scold him, do not punish him, do not shout at him, because then you will only make him and yourself worse. Instead of making a scandal, just calmly ask: "Maybe you're not all right? Maybe something is wrong? Maybe you want to cheer to hide from your problems? I can listen to you and help you, if, of course, you are not against it. "
- Remember, children often copy the behavior of their parents. So it's worth analyzing your own behavior in case of illness. Can you manipulate people yourself with the help of your ill health? It is not necessary to arrange a catastrophe from an easy runny nose and force all around to please you at the slightest tingling in the side.
Of course, do not forget that children often get sick, especially at an early age, for quite somatic, not psychological reasons. So if your child is sick, do not immediately think that you are a bad parent and do not give him enough warmth, maybe he just gulped down on ice cream or picked up some virus from neighbor children, walking in the yard. And although it happens that recovery comes only thanks to one love and affection, children still need to be treated with traditional methods and medicines recommended by the doctor in charge.