A friend in need will not quit, he will not ask a superfluous one, that's what a true, loyal friend means ... These words from a children's song express the main idea underlying the notion of "friendship". But friendship is different.
If men are friendly, this causes respect, female friendship causes admiration, but if a man and a woman are friends, this causes distrust, fear and sometimes even indignation. Than it is caused and why "no", let's understand together.
First, the very notion of "friendship" for men and women has fundamentally different meanings.
If the female friendship implies a trusting relationship, that is, women like to pour out each other's soul, give advice, discuss not only women's, but also male themes, then male friendship is based on an act - men do not like to seem weak, they, in principle, they do not say much, it's easier for them to do it. Remember, do you often see a man talking on the phone with his friend for an hour or more? Or men who are discussing only the upcoming campaign for a football match?
Secondly, stereotypes, like taboos, are very strong in our minds. Friendship between people of the same sex is understandable to us, acceptable, this phenomenon is natural. Of course, the possibility of friendship between a man and a woman is obvious, it can not be avoided, because it has a place to be. Another question is why some men seek friendship with a woman on the side, and women prefer to share their very different thoughts and experiences with a male colleague, and sincerely consider him their friend?
The situation is clear and transparent if the family is on the other side of the scale. Friends often give us something that, unfortunately, the family can not give: for example, we can talk with them on topics that the family has vetoed. These topics most often concern our not always correct, adequate actions, feelings and experiences. For example, a man does not even think of telling his wife that he likes another woman, or that he lost a large amount in a casino, and sometimes confess to his wife and close people that he is sick. So it is difficult for a woman to tell her husband that their sex has long been far from ideal or that she wants to be alone.
This kind of outlet, for both man and woman, gives birth to a different type of relationship, where the mutual understanding of seemingly absolutely "foreign" people reaches the apogee of the most real friendship. And this is not accidental: of course, men can do something for each other, but they do not share secrets. They leave their innermost thoughts for their woman. And not always this woman turns out to be their wife.
To male friends, a woman can turn "sharp edges" of female nature, to reveal to them what she hides from her friends. "In all the friendly relations between a man and a woman, sex is hidden somewhere," says sociologist Lilian Rubin, "It makes this friendship especially attractive and even exciting, but the majority of both men and women agree that entering into an intimate relationship is a big risk for friendship, because sex causes the desire for possession, which is incompatible with friendship. " Not every good friend can become a lover. Some men and women are able to successfully combine friendship and sexual pleasure, but most friends of different sex cautiously avoid this opportunity all the time.
True friendship is now very rare, ask yourself a simple question: who are your best friends? I'm sure the answer will make us wait, because we put a lot of meaning in the meaning of the word "friendship". Friendship can not be divided according to gender, people whom we consider friends are worthy, but otherwise it is impossible.