If you have a psychological trauma

Psychological injuries are as dangerous as physical ones. And the consequences can be no less severe. Only to treat mental bruises and fractures, we often do not hurry. We hope that it will pass by itself ... However, the human soul can be ill for a very long time, and sometimes we carry our untouched mental trauma through life, and without getting rid of the pressing painful burden. In fairness, I must say that it's not just a matter of mistrust of psychological help. Psychological trauma, unlike physical trauma, can be very difficult to recognize. We can not even guess what happened, when and how. There is no such diagnostics. "So-so, here's a crack, right on the spot of your self-esteem, not very big, but quite old, about three years." "It coincides with your divorce in time." Well, we'll cure. " In reality, assessing the severity of the problem and finding the true cause is not always possible. Yes, there is a concept of the objective gravity of the event. We say: "Change of work, and even moving - it's a double stress," "Taking care of a bed patient is incredibly burdensome and nervous." However, the objective weight does not always coincide with the subjective. For one person the conflict with the boss will be a serious test, after which he will hardly be able to perform his duties, close himself and cease communicating with the team. For another, the same will be the impetus for new achievements and self-development - and without any special negative feelings. It depends on the internal significance of the event, the nature of the person himself and, of course, the overall life situation. One completely, at first glance, insignificant factor is sometimes enough to make the picture of the event look completely different. For example, a key. Two young families live in roughly equal conditions, with approximately equal (not very good) relations between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law. But one mother-in-law has a key to the apartment of the young ("She's my mother," says the husband), and the other does not. The level of stress in the life of the wife from the family number one is much higher. Because the key means the husband's reluctance to separate from the mother, her relentless control, dominance and, as a consequence, the constant tension of the daughter-in-law. The stress of the wife of family number two is also palpable (negativity in relations with parents does not bring anyone joy), but still not so dangerous. He will be at least not permanent, and therefore less likely to have a traumatic effect on a young woman.

Originally from childhood
A significant number of psychotraumas we get back in childhood, and this is just an obstacle to treatment. By the time we are aware of the action of an event, it has been going on for many years, and the consequences are more difficult to treat. But in childhood we are very vulnerable, emotionally vulnerable and dependent on adults. Although we can afford to react directly (crying, screaming), but to understand the situation, to work it out so that it becomes less painful and has no serious negative consequences, alas, is not able. Well, it would seem, what can be terrible in a situation where parents have forgotten a child in kindergarten? Not specifically because. My mother thought that my father would take it, my father - that my mother. Yes, the child stayed there for a couple of hours, but not just one, but with a teacher. However, most of the people with whom such a story happened recall it as one of the most terrible in their life. It's good, if the parents later figure out to apologize and surround the child with attention and care to smooth the trouble. And if they say: "And why did you disband the nurse? Do you think the parents have no other worries?" The feeling of abandonment, it is likely, in this case will never disappear. Becoming an adult, a person may not consider this a problem. And what he hates so far, when someone is late and arranges real scandals about this, is the nature of this ...

What are you complaining about?
Difficulties in communication, conflicting character, excruciating shyness ... All this can be consequences of the experienced psychotrauma. Such people often say "I always" or "I never", differ in the unambiguous and sharp judgments. "I will not allow anyone to joke with me." But is it joking-is it bad? For this person - yes. Laughter for him means the desire to humiliate the interlocutor.

Another sign of psychotrauma is psychosomatic reactions. For example, when excitement becomes difficult to breathe, a person becomes stained, sweats, stutters. And this can be even with a weak stimulus. It's just that a situation that was traumatic and the body reacts so violently returns. Anxiety, fear, frequent experiences on an empty place, fixation on problems ... Later insomnia, headaches, digestive disorders, pain in the heart area are added.

The therapist herself
With sufficient interest in psychology, the desire to understand oneself, a person can himself cope with his problems. However, if there is an intention to turn to a professional, it is worth bearing in mind that:

• even the world's best psychologist / psychotherapist is helpless if the patient came to him not on his own, but under pressure (my mother found a psychologist, because she does not have the strength to watch her daughter suffer; girlfriend advised me to turn to a specialist);
• specialist should choose, focusing not only on his services in his field, the degree of fame, feedback, but also on personal affection. In communication should be comfortable, easy and calm - still have to talk about a very personal;
• from the first time better (so as to remove it) will not. Psychology is not magic, and psychologists do not wave a magic wand, driving away all problems away, but help a person to work on themselves and find ways to solve the problem.
  

Grinding of mental scars
It would be naive to think that any psychotrauma, as well as physical trauma, is cured. Even the best surgeons will not restore the lost arm or leg. So the best psychotherapists will not be able to return the old life in the form in which it was before a lot of events passed. It's about learning to live in new conditions, accepting losses, disappointments. People who survive the terrorist attack, violence, will never be the same as before. Changing the system of values, views on life, they are otherwise happy and on other occasions are disappointed. Fortunately, most psychotrauma is less severe, and the success of their treatment depends on the correct behavior. To treat yourself at this time should be carefully, sparingly, with sympathy. Create a pleasant environment, arrange a holiday, maybe buy something that has long been dreamed of.

The very situation that caused the trauma, should be considered from all sides. Find in it at least something positive ("but it could be much worse"), to think that it is useful to extract from it. This greatly reduces the consequences, because "debriefing" excludes excessive emotionality, makes it possible to look at what is happening from the outside. It is more difficult if the problem is not in the past, but in the present. If a person is forced to live in conditions that hurt him, then it is even more worth learning to stay away. And of course, as often as possible imagine that in the near future everything will change for the better.