How to pull yourself together and not scream at the child?

How to take yourself in hand and not shout at the child, because it is sometimes so difficult! Yes, this is a whole science that needs to be learned. After all, when we shout at our child, we not only injure his psyche, but we also do so that the child will not hear us with a calm explanation. That is, he was already accustomed to hearing abuse, cursing and shouting. And when they begin to speak in a calm tone, he simply does not understand what is being demanded from him. First of all, you need to understand yourself that crying is not good! Let's figure out why we are going to cry, how we can stop ourselves and take ourselves, as they say, and what are the consequences of our cry for the child.

Why do we break to scream? Well, definitely, that when mom does not get enough sleep, does not rest and does not give herself enough time to rest - this may be the first reason for a breakdown. Of course, when a small child is on one hand - is it very hard? And if he is not one, but several - it is generally difficult to sustain. So, we must try to make sure that you are helped in raising a child and at least for a while released you from household chores. And if you have someone to leave your baby for a while, do not deny yourself the pleasure of being alone, go with your husband or girlfriend to the movies, wander through the park, spend time in the shaping hall or do fitness - that's the rest. A timely rest is a guarantee of health. And so that the nervous system does not fail, so as not to scream at the child, it is sometimes necessary to create conditions for emancipation. You have the right to rest!

But if your system is already failing and you are shouting at your child, or worse - slapping him on the pope, and then scolding yourself for it - it's already a bell, that you need to stop and think about what the consequences may be in the future.

And the consequences are very different: a violation of the child's mental comfort, bitterness and trauma to all subsequent, adulthood. Think - do you want this to your child?

You are thinking about this: "Why am I so behaving with the child, why can not I take the situation in hand?"

The reasons for this behavior of parents can be several:

a. I was also raised by my parents;

b) I do not know how to educate if the child understands only a cry;

c) I do not understand the behavior of a small person;

d) I get very tired and tear;

e) I try to show that adults need to listen.

Many more can be cited reasons for parents' failure to cry, but these reasons are more generally considered the main ones. Why do we abuse the child? Probably to show that he is behaving incorrectly. And we behave with dignity - raising our voices, sometimes threatening and including lamentations. Do you think this kind of upbringing has any pedagogical effect?

It seems that from screaming, anger, impotence and irritation - there is no effect! So, you need to think about how to properly "scream" at the child, so that he understands that you are angry! Here are some useful tips that make the child understand that he is doing something wrong and that you do not like it.

1. Warn the baby that now you will swear. Perhaps he will stop doing something that makes you angry. It is necessary to take the child in his arms, explain to him in a calm voice that you do not like his behavior.

Think of words that sound ridiculous and ridiculous, but not abusively and seriously. So that the child does not take your words literally. If you really want to call the child, then think up such a ridiculous curse, but your own, and that it does not degrade the dignity of your baby. "Goonbee" and "confused" - keep it to yourself. But the "smart baby" or something like that - not so insulting. Because you can say anything in your hearts, but your child can remember your words for a long time.

2. Think what you say! Better then growl, angry. Or start making faces. You can also swear in a whisper.

You see how many options not to offend a little man, even if he has done something that is worthy of resentment, but never worthy of humiliation, because everyone is mistaken. A kid - even more so.

3. In dealing with your child, you must choose a position in which there is no place for punishment, shouting, reproach and ridicule. The most important thing is for an adult person to change himself, by changing attitudes toward the child. Learn to speak with your child calmly, without raising your voice. Tell me how you love him, but when he is obedient, you love him even more. Explain if he did something wrong, but do not shout.

It is important to understand only one thing. If you want your child to become an adult, treated you with respect and reverence - treat you to him from an early age, just as a person, though a little - with respect and equality.