Traditionally, the transitional age of the child is 10 to 14 years. At this time, secondary sexual characteristics develop: pubic hair, menstrual cycle, vegetation on the face, breast grows. Children also change internally. The unmotivated aggression in relation to others and, more often, to own parents sharply increases. How do parents experience the child's transitional age? Differently. It is possible, after the grandmothers to lament that "in our time it was better", you can prohibit and go to a serious conflict of generations. But it's best to understand the teenager, watch him, manage to put himself in his place, take his problems seriously.
How do parents survive the child's transitional age?
First of all, it is necessary to remember the peculiarities of this period.
- The child ceases to be a child, but it does not become an adult. Hormones, emotions, feelings spill out. Life boils with a key, it is difficult to understand in what situations it is possible to behave like a child, in what - as an adult. There is a reassessment of the old attitudes and principles. There is imbalance, complexes, the desire to be not like everyone else, but, at the same time, do not stand out from the crowd of their peers, whose opinion is of great importance. What should parents do? Just continue to love and support your child.
- The thirst for independence and independence, the desire to get rid of parental care often leads to a riot. Once a quiet, obedient child now defends his own opinion at any cost. He can react hostilely to any advice that he previously followed implicitly. Understanding the child is the first step towards solving this problem. We just have to admit that the child is also a person with his own views on life, even if they are opposite parents. Let him have the right to his own decisions and actions and the right to make mistakes. Do not limit his freedom, press on him, determining the range of his interests, forcing, for example, instead of communicating with friends to dance or engage in music. Better find out what he likes. But this does not mean that we must all allow. After all, at the time of growing up, the forbidden fruit is also sweet. A teenager can spend time with a dubious company, return for midnight, smelling tobacco and alcohol, instead of studying in circles or sections, developing his abilities. What should I do in this case? First of all, do not scream and do not make scandals. Talk with him about the possible consequences of such actions, while focusing not on the distant future, but on the present. For example, that when smoking teeth turn yellow and an unpleasant smell from the mouth appears. It is not necessary to allow snapping and rude things, let a certain distance prescribed by age be kept between you.
- Many problems of adolescents at first glance are negligible, especially when it comes to external compliance with the ideal. But it's not so simple. In the 12 to 15 years there is an unconscious interest in the opposite sex. The son can give up his favorite onion salads and take a shower thrice a day, so that the girls pay attention to him. The daughter becomes a rival of the mother, in the fight for her father proving that she is also a woman. But during the maturation there are physiological changes, as a result of which the "cute child" becomes a "ugly duckling". Jokes about the appearance are very painful for them. Therefore, we must increase the self-esteem of a teenager, pointing to his achievements.
Only love, understanding and patience will help the parents overcome all the difficulties of the transitional age of children.