Meetings with relatives and friends are needed by every mother. How to spend time, having presented pleasure of dialogue both to itself, and the kid? How to avoid problems with the baby visiting friends?
The days passed when the baby only slept, ate, woke a little and slept again. It was a wonderful time of the first steps, manifestations of joy with smiles and laughter, attempts at first social intercourse. Your child has grown up and is quite ready to meet new people, not just peers and close relatives, but also with familiar dads and moms. For a baby, adventuring with parents will remain a significant family event for life. Even if you ran for half an hour to the nearest cafe, the kid will be delighted with every detail of this event! Hello I'm your aunt!
Going to visit, any mom will worry twice - for herself and for the child. Do you know the feeling that sitting in a decree, you are like "wild"? Friends updated the wardrobe in accordance with the fashionable trends, friends in the course of events, which you know only by hearsay, because you missed the significant visits of musical groups, interesting exhibitions and the like. you closer problems accustom a child to potty and child development crumbs on the latest techniques. But soon the day of her husband's brother's birthday ... Last time you met with relatives in such an event, when actively worked and had a completely different image. Today, everything has changed, but whether or not this scare you?
The greatest influence on the psychological state of the baby during such meetings is the mood of the mother. If the mother is sincerely glad to the guests, she feels confident, the kid will copy her condition by 99%. 1% will remain on the physiological comfort of the child.
Feeling at ease and confident in any situation is not easy. But in order not to aggravate the atmosphere and not to think up unnecessary problems and worries, try to present the scenario of the forthcoming holiday in more detail. How to avoid problems with the baby on a visit? Accustomed to be the center of everyone's attention, the kid finds himself in a situation where everyone is engaged in discussing problems that are not related to his behavior or health. Even parents, keen on the general discussion, try to make the child a "soft toy" that eats something from the children's menu and does not interfere with socializing. exhibitions only with the father and mother are the most relaxed, since they do not depend on the influence of strangers on the situation.The duration and order of events are set by the parents, not adjusting to other scenarios.Unconsciously moms and dads expect the baby to change the forms of interaction with ok depending on the nature of the meeting, but the development of a young child does not yet allow you to quickly rebuild into different social roles.However, if from the first minute you see an undesirable development of the events and the mood of the child to perform "feats", we strongly recommend that you leave as soon as possible and meet again .
Be ready!
Analyzing a series of failed meetings, you may get the impression that the kid is on strike, that he is simply non-Soviet or too spoiled (this is usually the verdict of grandmothers). But do not despair, little did not want to annoy your beloved parents. Just your child was confused in manners and behaviors, he was looking for a compromise, but stumbled upon a misunderstanding, punishment and censure. Therefore, in order to avoid problems, it is necessary to prepare for each meeting in advance.
Memo for parents
At the age of one to three, the child learns to behave, guided by the assessment of his actions by surrounding adults. Often praise your children! This will give them confidence. If for you the fact that the baby shared a toy with a peer is normal behavior (after all, it should be so!), Then for a crumb it is a huge achievement requiring encouragement from adults.
Decided to go somewhere with the baby? In advance, explain to the child how to behave. For example, in your home, a child plays mostly with toys, sometimes takes some cooking utensils, but you will never let him play with a sharp knife! So from the first days of life the kid learns that it is possible, and that - absolutely not.
The earlier the child learns the concepts "so it is impossible, and it can be like this," the easier it will be for him to adjust to life situations. Try to prevent your "impossible" not as a total ban, but as a change (albeit significant) in the rules of the game and life .
The rules of behavior in the family, which have been mastered since the first months , will help you tune in to accept new rules of behavior in a society with strangers. For example, when going to her husband's parents, explain in detail and, if possible, lose the scenario of the upcoming meeting. Tell them that when you meet you have to say: "Hello." You always need to ask: "Can I get it?" If you want to play some subject. Discuss how to behave if you did not allow to play with the thing. does not understand what you are explaining to him, but this is not true, the child is always shoving himself, but he will test both you and his relatives for strength. Make a list of arrangements (5-7 points) and work it out with the baby.
Example dialog
There is a trip to the parents of her husband.
- Alyonushka, soon we will go to grandmother Tanya and grandfather Dima, - says my mother.
- Yes, aah, aah, - the two-year-old girl comes to life.
"What do we say when we get in?" - Mom asks and, seeing the reverie on the baby's face, continues. - Hello! Repeat with me together!
- HAPPY! The girl and mother repeat in chorus.
- Let's imagine that we have already arrived. This bear will be a grandfather, and Valya's doll will be a grandmother, you're a boy, I'm a pussy, dad will be a rabbit. Here we come, what shall we say? - Further on the plan. Try to lose all the plots of the meeting taking into account the arrangements.
We say: "Hello - goodbye." Thank you for gifts and treats, saying: "Thank you." If you want to take something, we ask: "Can I get it?" We do not run around the house (we do not climb a ladder, we do not torture a cat, we do not go out by the gate, do not tear a newspaper - it's necessary to emphasize it.) Without caprices, we'll tell Grandma and Grandfather a poem about Tanya and the lost ball.
The main task of such preparatory work is to explain to the child what kind of behavior the adults expect from him. Believe me, what is obvious to moms and dads is not at all obvious to the children. Characteristic for the kids is the desire to be good and do everything right. And adults should understand that there are no bad children, just kids can do something wrong by ignorance.
"Dobrenky" uncle
Sometimes it is easier for children to teach correct behavior than for other adults. After all, what about being with uncles and aunts who, sometimes from the best motives, arrange completely unexpected and not always necessary surprises for their parents?
For some reason, problems of upbringing, education and developmental orientation of children almost do not cause disagreements and disputes in the team of friends and relatives. But, when it comes to the small child's feeding system, conflicts can develop into serious grievances.
Preparing the baby to go out into the world, it should be possible to agree with another, the adult side. For example, explain to friends that you will come with a child, and if the celebration takes place in a restaurant, a non-smoking room is required. Are you going to pay a visit to your grandparents? Remind your family that while you are still not giving your child chocolate.
Prepare sweet for your child tailored to your individual needs. If you are sure that you will encounter a situation when other adults will want to pamper your crumb with something sweet, discreetly give them, for example, dried fruits wrapped in candy wrappers, or special cookies.
Going to a secular round with the whole family, besides important things like diapers, wet napkins, spare pantyhose and shirts, be sure to capture a good mood, the certainty that everything will pass without unnecessary adventures. And most importantly - your family will receive a tremendous pleasure from communicating with people close and pleasant to your heart. In a few years, looking through a family photo album, you will laugh happily and pleasantly remember the happy moments spent with your child.