How to teach a child to order?

The blue dream of all parents that the child was neat, cleaned up in his room, folded clothes before going to bed, washed the dishes. Is it possible?

If you remember all the comments, claims and demands that sound to the address of the child within a day, then for sure you will notice with surprise that the lion's share of them falls precisely on the topic of cleanliness and cleaning. And all "like a wall of peas," well, our children do not want to understand the importance of this process. What is it? Laziness, pofigizm, confidence that someone will do it for them? Or are we, adults, doing something wrong here?

In fact, the need to see around a clean, cleaned room appears in children rather late. Actually, by this time they are already not children and not even teenagers. The desire to restore order in the most natural way is usually formed after adolescence, and often only when a person starts his family and builds his own home. While the child lives in the territory of adults and, whether we like it or not - takes a subordinate position, he never answers for himself. And this is normal. Of course, each of us can recall a couple of examples from the lives of friends and acquaintances, in whose families live children are neat, the pride of parents and the envy of others. But this is, rather, an exception to the rules. These children from an early age love to place everything in their places and restore order not by proper education, but solely because of the nature of the character. This, as a rule, small pedants with a pronounced phlegmatic temperament.

The reverse side of the coin is the fear of any violation of the usual course of events, deviation from the rules and the lack of immediacy in behavior, lack of initiative and inability to gamble to play with peers. Children who are passionately and interestingly playing can not, after leaving the game, drastically return to boring everyday life, so the toys remain where they were left.

So, dear parents, remember: the unwillingness to restore order is an age norm, while the availability of such skills is rather a pleasant exception before you "run into" your children because of inaccuracy and the desire to turn everything around into chaos. But this does not mean that the dream to teach your child to order should be forgotten until better times. Just the goal of your upbringing in this direction will sound somewhat different: can the parents facilitate their own (to themselves) life, and if so, how? Certainly, they can. And it is necessary to begin, really, early - already with 2-3 years. Only in this case it is necessary to remember, firstly, what was said above, and secondly, to strictly observe several rules, which we will talk about below.

Rule one

As you have already understood, the child does not have a natural distinction between clean and uncleared premises. Therefore, based on statements such as "Look at how dirty you are in the room! It should not be! "It's useless. A child at the age of 2-4 years if and agrees to do something "as big", then only "buying" on the motive to imitate you and the need for your approval, the desire to be an adult. This is what you should rely on in your desire to raise the baby's accuracy. It should be a game, an imitation of your adult actions, and actions shared. Washes my mother's floor - even though the kid will carry a rag over the floor, wash the grandmother's dishes - give him something to hold, even if he wants very much. Dad vacuums - let the kid hold the handle of the vacuum cleaner next to the big daddy's hands. Or let him press the button to turn on the vacuum cleaner - this is generally a complete delight at this age. Just put the child next to him and show what and how to do (the main mechanism of education at this age is imitation). A personal example is much more effective than numerous instructive stories about "good and bad children". But there is one small "but". Accustoming to any skills assumes that they have other members of the family. If the house is kept in order, sooner or later the child will naturally be drawn to this level in personal habits. If, however, the "working disorder" in your home is an ordinary matter, and the floors are washed occasionally, then it's hardly hypocritical to call a child to order: he will react only to what he sees "in fact."

Rule two

If possible, it is better to limit the territory on which the child is allowed to play: exclude the kitchen, the bathroom, the parents' bedroom, their work desks. Each member of the family should have his own territory, and the baby - including. In addition, the area with which you will have to collect toys, will noticeably decrease.

Rule Three

Cleaning should not interrupt the child's play or prevent them from continuing. For us it's just a game, and for a child - the most important occupation in life, treat this with respect. If he left an unfinished castle of cubes on the floor, it will be wrong to remove it - this means to interrupt the creative process, which can no longer be resumed. It is inappropriate to start work around the house, if the child has guests, or tear it away from some interesting occupation. In this case, cleaning will have a negative emotional tone, which is unlikely to benefit you and the child.

If you have taken up cleaning in the nursery, it is better not to do it in the absence of the child or without his participation. It is clear that his contribution will still be small and will more resemble an attempt to stain everything again. Suffer: the joint action here is very important, the baby should not have the impression that someone will fulfill his duties for him. And do not scold him, he tries as best he can. On the contrary - as often as possible, praise the little helper for any little things in the cleaning process. Even if he just keeps a bag for toys, as long as you put them there or get something that rolled under the couch, which is difficult for an adult to get. And be sure to tell the baby that without him you would not have coped.

It would be nice to fix one or more cases for the child, which only he does in the family. Let it be one kind of a flower that should be watered regularly, or a shelf in a room with which only the toddler is entrusted to wipe the dust. This is a very important step. The child finally begins to feel "adult" in the difficult matter of maintaining cleanliness, gets used to the idea that there are things that need to be done constantly.

And, finally, the last tip: do not wait for immediate results, do not count on the speedy effect in educating the accuracy of the small child. The motto of this important and difficult matter is perhaps, it sounds like "Wait for an answer". And if everything is done correctly, then you probably will get an "answer".