Quite often, many parents ask themselves how to develop their confidence in the child, help them not be afraid to express their own opinion, how to do so that he can adequately protect himself, be able to overcome life's obstacles, trying to solve the problem independently, without hiding behind the backs of his parents.
I would like to start with the fact that the most important thing is to convince parents that everything depends on them, on the parents' identity and ways of upbringing in the family, as well as on the approach to the child. A very important condition is your self-confidence, because most children are oriented to one of the parents, completely copying his behavior, the style of communication with other people. Parent is for the child authority, so the kid believes that all his actions and behavior are correct. If you yourself have any personal problems that you could not solve, especially those related to your insecurity, then this should be worked on, and preferably with the help of a psychologist.
Rules that help develop a child's self-confidence
The first rule: a child should be confident that you, of course, love him.
Such a love should not be suffocating, a love-favor or that love, for which the child must pay for help around the house, good study. A child needs to be loved for what it is and what it is. He needs to know that he was born not in order to justify your expectations over time, but in order to become a person with a sense of dignity.
The second rule: the child should have confidence that he is under your protection, but not under the hood.
Let him know that you will always be there, but you will not become one with him. It should be always open and accessible to the child. Let him know that he can ask you for help without getting a refusal, that you will not turn away, leaving yourself to solve the difficult problems for him alone.
The third rule is that the child should have the right to make a mistake, as well as the opportunity to correct it, not to be undeservedly punished or insulted.
Assist him in understanding the error and correcting it. The child should not be afraid of making mistakes, because they learn from them, and correcting the mistake, you can prevent her reappearance.
The fourth rule: communication with the child should occur on an equal footing , and not from the height of an older age and without raising his child, making him a kind of idol.
The fifth rule: give the child the opportunity to solve their problems on their own , do not face childish quarrels because of toys, do not rush to transfer to another educational institution, if you do not get relationships with teachers and peers. Otherwise, the child will not simply not be able to learn to see the situation and seek a way out, but also will not succeed. In this situation, he will try only to avoid failure, to leave the problem, and not to try to solve them.
The sixth rule: you should not compare your child with other people's children.
It is better to emphasize his personal qualities, teach the child to evaluate his actions and himself, let him try to look at himself from outside. If the child begins to compare himself with someone, then eventually becomes dependent on the opinion and evaluation of others, which, as a rule, is quite subjective.
Seventh rule: if the child is still small, then in his assessment, try to avoid the word "bad."
He is not bad at all, but simply wrong, stumbled. Explain to your child that there are wrong things that cause trouble and pain, from which he can also suffer.
Eighth rule: let the child learn what has been started to finish.
However, do not press that it is necessary to go this route and do just that, if any activity to the child is not to his liking. In adolescence, this is especially important, because it is then the formation of interests, the choice of the future profession. The more a child will try himself in various activities, the more there will be chances in the future that he will be able to make the right choice.
The ninth rule: you need to help the child with the adaptation in a group of people.
After all, one way or another, the whole life of a person, starting with a kindergarten, is connected with working in a group and communicating. This is the camp, the school, the sports school, and the university. In children's groups there is always competition. Older children consider themselves to be adults, they have more experience of communication and they can easily "plug the belt" of younger children. The last thing remains is how to obey.
If the problem of communicating with young children and peers does not affect your child, eventually he will be able to find a common language with older children. It is necessary to support your child, give him confidence. Ask the kindergarten teacher to help pick up games that would rally the children in the group. Basically, these are games in which even the most timid child can be, for example, a gaming moderator. As a result, such exercises help develop confidence in the baby, his self-esteem rises, and he can finally show himself and show.
A good way to increase popularity in the group is to come up with your own, a new game (with the help of parents), take the toy with you to the kindergarten and invite the older children to your game. Children come together, playing joint games, find more topics for contacts.
The tenth rule: respect the child and what he does, what he wants and what he dreams about.
You do not need to laugh and demand a change in the decision from him. If your child's choice is not at all to your liking, try to find words that can prove to him that this is completely wrong or not quite right. Let your child learn something and you, for example, to some kind of sportive reception, throwing a ball, a new game or weaving a bauble.
The eleventh rule: focus on what the child is best at, do not forget to praise , but only on business and on time. Adequate should be and evaluation.
Raising confidence in a child is not an easy task. These rules apply not only to developing self-esteem, but also all areas of interaction and communication with the child, and with you, parents, in the first place. The key to confidence in your future and in yourself is the belief that you are understood, loved and accepted by what you are.