A person who does not know how to refuse, reach career heights will be extremely difficult, if not impossible. After all, he runs the risk of constantly wasting his time, helping others to do their work, instead of doing their own business. How to learn to refuse colleagues?
In addition to losing precious time, inability to refuse can affect your emotional state. Experts say that if we say "yes", when we want to say "no", then we are stressed. Over time, this can lead to unpleasant physical symptoms: headaches, muscle tension of the back, insomnia. So, one way out is to learn to refuse.
The main problem with this is to stop feeling guilty and not think that because of you a colleague may have trouble. In the end, you are not to blame for the fact that he can not cope with his work on his own. However, this does not mean that it is necessary to refuse a rude form. On the contrary, one must master the ability to say "no" honestly, openly and politely. Your interlocutor must understand that you are refusing not because you feel negative feelings towards him, but because you can not give time for help.
In order to learn how to say "no" correctly, it is necessary to study several variants of the refusal and use them depending on the specifics of the situation.
1. Direct "no." If you are approached by an unfamiliar person with a request that you knowingly unpleasant, it is better to refuse immediately. Just tell him "no, I can not" - without explaining why you can not and do not apologize.
2. Detailed "no". If you are interested in the feelings of the person who is asking you, or if you are afraid of messing with him, use this option. Say, for example: "I understand how important it is for you to report on time, but, unfortunately, I can not help you." Of course, this should be said in a very polite tone.
3. "No" with an explanation. If you know that your interlocutor admits only reasoned refusals - say "no" and explain why you can not help him. Just do not go into lengthy arguments and speak frankly - otherwise a colleague will think that you are trying to come up with an excuse. For example, say this: "I can not help you write a report, because tonight I'm going to the parents' meeting."
4. "No" with a delay. If you know that you can not help your colleague at the moment, but do not want to tell him the final "no", say so: "I can not help you today, but maybe I'll be able to do it next week." Take care not to make specific promises. You just let your colleague ask you for help again, and do not promise to help him.
5. "No" with the alternative. If you strive to maintain good relations with a colleague at any cost and say something useful to him, say to him: "I can not help you with the report, but if I can help you with anything else, turn to me."
6. Persistent "no". This option should be used if your interlocutor insists on his request and persuades you to help him, ignoring your refusal. Just repeat "no" as many times as necessary. For example: your dialog might look like this:
- Could you help me with the report?
- No, sorry.
- Well, please, I really need your help.
- No, sorry, I can not.
- Please, I will not be in debt!
- No, sorry, I really can not help you.