In order to understand whether it is worth helping the guys solve their problems, it is necessary to be able to distinguish really serious life troubles from trifles, which a normal man should be able to cope with. Remember that the guy needs to feel strong and responsible. If you decide a lot for him, he will stop straining. So let's determine what problems can be considered serious, and what you have the right to close your eyes.
Of course, the first thing we often remember about is the turmoil in the material sphere. For example, is it worth helping a young man if he does not have the means to pay for housing, study or something like that. First, answer yourself to the question: how much your help can negatively affect your own material condition. If you understand that this will lead to the fact that you, roughly speaking, will live on bread and water for months, waiting for when you will be expelled from the apartment for non-payment, then dull your good impulses. Naturally, you love him and want him to be easy and good, but still you do not need to sacrifice yourself. In addition, most likely, a young man will refuse help, knowing that it will harm you. If he agrees, it is worth to think about how much the guy loves you and what for him means self-interest. In the case when you understand that you can help a guy without prejudice to yourself, answer honestly: what was the cause of this deplorable material condition of the young man? For example, if he needs to solve the problems of his large family, he does not have parents or the family is unsuccessful, so the young man works hard, but some kind of force majeure led to such problems, then help can really become necessary. The situation is completely different when the guy simply does not feel like doing anything. So he does not attend school, spends all his money on friends and entertainment, does not think about anything, and then begins to cry that he has nothing to live on, he "fails" the session, he is kicked out of the university and how to act, he does not know . In this case, his behavior indicates complete irresponsibility, laziness and inability to solve his problems. If you give money to such a young man, he will understand that you should not strain because there are you nearby - the one that will always help out. Next time he will do the same, and you will regret it again and come to the rescue. Over time, this will begin to be taken for granted. In this way, you will get a real gigolo, who will enjoy himself for the money earned by your work. I think this scenario is clearly not suitable for you. Therefore, no matter how sorry you are for a young man, you should not help him financially. It's better to motivate the guy to find a way out of the situation yourself, because there are almost always options, just need to strain and think.
Of course, problems are not only material, but also moral. Men also lose loved ones, worry about their unfulfilledness, quarrels with relatives and friends. In this case, it is really necessary to struggle with similar problems by common forces, but do not try to do something on your own. First, even if a person told you the whole situation, he still sees it for his part, no matter how hard we try, it's hard to be completely objective in the case when our feelings get caught up. Therefore, if you try, for example, to talk with his friend behind him, you can hear a completely different version of the story. In addition, men do not like it when someone tries to reconcile them and solve something for them.
Therefore, you need to talk with the guy, support him, perhaps try to give advice, but do not impose anything. He is an adult and an intelligent person who knows how to act. But, if you will be restrained and offer him specific solutions, most likely, the guy will listen to you, even if he does not admit it. If you start behaving as if you know him better than him, then most likely it will lead to another problem - a scandal between you.
And finally, about the most difficult and terrible problem - the loss of loved ones. It is necessary to feel the native person very sensitively and to behave as he needs. In addition, you never need to model situations "for yourself." Women, in order to survive grief, often need to be pitied. We cry at someone on the shoulder, nostalgic, and with tears our pain gradually disappears. Men do not like to be pityed. They need you, on the contrary, to help them be strong. Therefore, you need to closely monitor the reaction of the guy to your behavior.
If you see that he is not happy with your embraces and words of support - better get out. If he cries, do not pity him and calm him, but stay close. When he asks you to leave him alone, you do not have to prove that he will be better with you. In this situation, he knows how he is better. Moral problems are the most complex. They can not be solved for others, however much we like it. Therefore, you need to show tact and feel a person. And if you see that he is sinking depressed, unobtrusively try to bring him back to normal life, reminding his behavior that, no matter how bad, the world still has a lot of things that need to be experienced and tried.