You have to take yourself for who you are. It's easy to say! And how to achieve this?
How to fall in love with yourself, is this when your legs are short and your nose is too big? When do you go to third deputies for ten years, and the dissertation was covered with age-old dust? When the son brings one deuce, and the daughter in the garden fights?
Unfortunately, most of us grew up with the conviction that loving oneself is bad, wrong, unworthy. We must think about others first, and then about ourselves. Many live like this ...
Have you ever wondered what lies behind the word "selflessness": a sincere desire to help someone without thinking about your interests, or is it an attempt to escape from your own emptiness? One thing is easy to distinguish: in the first case, a person is harmonious and happy. In the second, he is eternally wrapped, irritated, offended by the whole world, who "does not appreciate" and "does not understand." In any case, a person believes that he "gave them all the strength and youth," and they are ungrateful! "
And to understand yourself - for a long time and, frankly, scary. Suddenly you will find something unsightly! So you have to "push" yourself into the background, and build on the pedestal of others ... You do not like it? Then learn to treat yourself with all seriousness, stop hiding behind the eternal "yes I would, but ..." and make at least the first step towards yourself.
Our dislike for ourselves has two components - external and internal. The first is manifested in the public belittling of one's own merits, achievements and skills. "You think I'm good, but I know it's not quite true." And it is not surprising that in the course of time others start to agree with this!
The most common features of female dislike ...
- Negation of compliments ("Oh, that you, I do not understand anything, I accidentally guessed").
- attribution to others of merit, which actually, but the right belong to you ("Without it, I would not have managed in life").
- the habit of not buying something personally for oneself, believing that it's better to buy this thing to another ("It's too expensive for me, I'll do it").
- the desire to justify yourself for what you are looking at ("This dress is slim ...").
- the permission to call themselves ostensibly diminutive - caressing words, but in fact humiliating nicknames ("hrynya", "fool", "donut").
Follow after yourself. If you behave the same way, change your attitude and reaction. Internal dislike is based on an eternal comparison of oneself with others, "the best." Look not to the neighbor (girlfriend, colleague), but to yourself, but at the previous stage: last year I started to learn the language, and in this I speak fluently; was the deputy - became the chief. This will allow you to really assess your own achievements and feel proud. Learn to separate your own uniqueness, individuality from the evaluation and recognition of your successes by other people. These are completely different things. Your husband left you, you lost your job, failed the project - all this does not make you as a person worse. Each of us is unique - this is the main reason to love yourself. If you were born, it means that it is you, such as you are, who need this world. Remind yourself about this more often - and everything will be fine.
To love yourself, you need to ... get acquainted. How much in life we do "for the company", "not to offend". Think about what you like: what kind of music pleases, what books fascinate, what clothes you prefer, what suits you in appearance, and what you want to change?
Do not bypass the "eternal" questions. What do you dream about, what do you value, what you are striving for, what you have achieved? Honest answers will allow you to understand where you are now moving - to your goals or from them. Remember: the one who loves himself, the road can, is winding, but she always leads on.