Of course, diligence is a very important, commendable and valuable quality. But what if the husband works seventy hours a week, and on weekends, and on holidays, moreover, work becomes his meaning of life?
When a woman tells that her husband is a hard worker, many of her friends envy her, while thinking: "And what else does she need that does not suit her? And smart, and successful, and brings home money ..." However, in reality all netak sunny and carefree.
Such a man does not have time for a family, because he is always busy with work and other things. Often, he goes to work while his wife sleeps, and comes back when she needs to sleep again. His work has no end, no land, because it takes the time of a loved one on holidays and the days off. And when he manages to persuade him to take a vacation, he even decides on important matters concerning his business or some production issues even on the beach. How to be in this situation? Divorce? Of course not! After all, there is a more humane way out-to teach a workaholic husband to enjoy not only business and work.
Who is he?
For what reason do men go to work with their heads? There can be a lot of them. The first reason - this requires some specific project or their careers. When they pass the project or the desired goal, they will again start working in the usual mode. The second reason - some people just do not know how to properly manage their time to distribute labor. However, neither the first nor the second reason does not say that men are workaholic. It's just a manner from case to case to work in a crazy rhythm, when at work, it's philosophical. Moreover, while your husband is not at home, you can calmly take care of yourself, children and other groups, no one interferes or distracts. A little later, everything will be in place, willow catch up.
A natural workaholic is a man whose work is the meaning of life, and the rest of the pleasures - rest, family, hobbies, love - will eventually go to the background. Ambitious and hardworking men try to work hard only to achieve the goal: a large income, overseas holidays, the purchase of a car or a house, and so on, and true workaholics do not really attach importance to their work results, they satisfy themselves with one process. Yesterday he works at the plant overtime or is engaged in his business.
Even if a workaholic earns well, he does not know how to manage his income. Moreover, when a wife, mother or other close people begin to point out this shortcoming, the workaholic always responds with excuses: "I do not have the right to go on vacation until I finish this and do it." In addition, when the goal is reached, the workaholic continues to work, but in the name of something else. And so constantly. Let's try to figure out what is causing this?
And greedy, and an excellent student
Psychologists say that workaholics can be divided into several types, each of which has its own cause. Now we find out who is of this type, and we will understand how to treat each of them.
Workaholic-fugitive
He became a workaholic not from a good life, he was overcome by problems in personal life. If you pay little attention to a man, do not recognize his merits or other loved ones do not appreciate him, he begins to look for it elsewhere - at work. There he is praised by his colleagues, he is proud of his superiors, he becomes a real indispensable employee: he works overtime, helps everyone, gives advice. As a result, the office without it can not work, they wait for it, they need it, it knows the nuances of the work and can solve any problem and any problem. Therefore, he does not even seek to go home to spend time with children and his wife.
Workaholic-best worker
Surely the parents of such a man always wanted their son to be the best for everyone: in work, school, sports. Therefore, he could not upset them and tried to match the wishes of mom and ipapa, so he is not distracted by extraneous hobbies and rest. Or, on the contrary, parents did not praise their boy, so he decided that he should try harder. When a man becomes an adult, he continues to work hard, but already at work, while demonstrating that any work and any task to him on the shoulder. Psychologists argue that such people need professional help, since they themselves can not understand this. A psychologist will help them remove children's complexes and change priorities.
Workaholic greed. Such men work tirelessly to earn as much money as possible. Even when such a man becomes a millionaire, he will not be enough and he will think that he is not yet well-off. He is embarrassed by the fact that he does not have much time to even spend money, which he earned afterwards and blood, because he needs to work. Surely this problem goes back to childhood, so you need to review how he was brought up, pay attention to their parents. Maybe he grew up in a very immodest family, where money was always lacking, so he decided that whatever it cost him to become rich, and maybe he did not like him, that's why he tries to compensate for the money that his parents did not give him.
How to teach him to rest?
If you see a man in any of the types of workaholics, then you need to act immediately, and this should be complex interviews, it must be re-educated. Workaholics simply do not know how to rest, so you must help your loved one learn to relax. But how can this be achieved? Your main task is to create an atmosphere at home that you want to return to, so that you make your husband want to return home. Try to be attentive and affectionate, talk about how you love him, compliment, tell about your thoughts, events, ask him how the day went. Especially it needs to be done for workaholics-fugitives, this is very important.
Ask him how he wants to spend the weekend (of course, apart from work), and help him to realize the desire, even if you see your weekend in a different way. Psychologists recommend doing the following: for each day or half-day spent in the house, give the "prize" to the spouse - go to the clinic, watch the football match, watch the movie that he likes, the favorite dish, that is, give him what he loves.
Of course, ask him to help you around the house - he must know that at home you also need to show diligence. But just do not order and do not give it a task, but ask for help. Compare the reaction itself to the phrases "Beat the shelf here" and "Beloved, I would like to place a shelf for books here. What do you think about it?". After he helps you, thank him and praise him, tell him how good he is, caring and so on. And if your husband is a workaholic-excellent worker, then your main tactic should be this: "You are simply indispensable, I do not know how to live without you!".
And if you want to go somewhere with him somewhere, then in advance agree on the dates. You can write them down in his diary, so he will surely remember and come home on time.