Therefore, parents often think about how to properly educate their children. And the children in turn think about how to behave in a way that is pleasing to parents and the surrounding society?
The problems of the family in the upbringing of children are still being paid a lot of attention. In science (pedagogy) it is customary to divide the types of education into groups. Here are the main ones:
Dictatorship is such a system of upbringing of children, in which the initiative of "management" by the child passes to one or two members of the family. And completely. It's like a "family absolute monarchy." In doing so, much depends on the strength of the child's character. If it turns out to be strong, the result of such education will be a strong reaction of resistance, objection to parents. If the character turns out to be weak, there will be complete suppression of the child's own desires. He will become withdrawn, and a sense of alienation will appear.
Hyperopeka - from the title it is clear that this is a system in which parents try to fully please the whims of the child. Such a child can grow self-satisfied, proud and even selfish. With a weak character, he may have a feeling of helplessness in the world, or vice versa, the desire to get rid of the parents' care, which will also have a very bad effect on the future life.
Non-interference - in my opinion, is not the worst system, of course, it should be used wisely. All decisions and responsibilities pass to the child. And he through trial and error must himself understand what is right and what is not. This gives the child a very good life experience, which is very useful in independent life. But it is worthwhile to understand that to do so is to risk the moral values of the child. He may simply become confused, lose true ideals.
Cooperation is unquestionably the most correct variant of relations in the family. Here all help each other, and are mostly together, which is extremely important for children. Holidays, events, hikes, walks, cultural evenings - everything is done together. A child can get help when he needs it, because the hand of the parents is always there.
But here you will ask: - "Then what is the problem? The answer to the most important question is. We need to spend as much time together, and help each other ... "
All this is certainly so, but not all can adhere to cooperation. Family problems most often begin with the parents themselves. And in most cases, Mom and Dad have disagreements. For example, the father wants his son to be courageous, firm in character, so he constantly treats him strictly. The child has nowhere to go, he tries to find understanding from my mother. Mom, as more sensitive, always pity her son. And here already there was a big problem - the boy thinks that the father is bad, and my mother is good. This makes my father angry even more. He understands that his importance in the family as an educator is lost, and here quarrels between parents can begin. A child, seeing this, may think that this is the reason for this rubbish. There may be mental disorders.
Disagreements among parents are also possible with differences in educational experience. Some parents raise their children in the same way as their parents raised them. Some, on the contrary, realizing that they were not brought up in the best way, choose another system.
Parents can be just different in nature. Most often father, strict and picky, and the mother is soft and sensitive. This immediately imbalances the child's priorities for parents.
What are these differences between parents? What problems can the family bring to the upbringing of children? Here, again, it all depends on the nature of the child. In one case, the level of anxiety may increase - due to constant expectation of punishment or indulgence. In another case, the child can use this. When the father is strict, and punishes him, the child goes to the mother and looks for her comforting gift, candy or just attention.
The consequences of these disagreements, of course, differ greatly in the mental state of the child. Here he has a very difficult role, to choose how to behave in order to please one of the parents whom he loves equally.
And how to be parents in raising children? First. Never need to find out the relationship in front of the child. It is not necessary to defend one's point of view obscenely. This is a family, you can and give in to each other.
The second. It is worth talking about this problem. Talk, completely listening to each other. In a calm, pleasant atmosphere with tea ... I think the output can always be found. It is only a little to believe each other. And yet, there is no correct system of education. There is one that suits you the most. You just need to find it. I wish you success.