Adoption is a very serious step for any family. After all, new parents have a great responsibility to raise a child in love, prosperity and understanding, to bring up so that he never even thought about what is not native. When adopting a child, of course, an important role is played by the age at which he or she entered the family and whether he has relatives. The fact is that the law does not prohibit relatives from adopting a child, unless they harm him. However, the concept of "harm" can be regarded in different ways. It often happens that after talking with relatives, the child starts to make various claims to the parents and make scandals. How to act in cases when communication with a relative of an adopted child can not be stopped?
Negative influence of relatives
First, of course, it is worth talking to the relatives themselves. Not the fact that the conversation will bring a positive result, but it's worth a try. If such relatives are grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles or sisters with brothers, then it is worth explaining to them that for you all it is important that the child has a normal adequate family in which he feels love and care. Often it seems to us that we could do better for the child and more than others. But the adopted child should have certain authorities. Therefore, explain to his relatives that communication should not be reduced to the fact that they in every way want to prove that they are for him the best family. You should never go over to personalities and blame relatives for spoiling your relationship with your son or daughter. The fact is that by observing such communication, the child will doubt exactly in your authority. You will fall in his eyes, but relatives, on the contrary, will rise. Therefore, try to behave calmly and wisely. However, it is possible to explain that if such communication threatens the calm and normal development of your child, it will cease.
Extortion
Also, there are situations when the relatives of the adopted child try to get benefits. Especially in this are succeeding mothers and fathers, who suddenly announce themselves and begin to tell how they love their son or daughter, along the way, without forgetting to ask him for money. In this case, there can be no question of love for the child. These people are driven by greed and talking with them you will not achieve anything. You should find a way to prove through the court that they are engaged in extortion and stop communication. If this option is not suitable for some reason, talk with the child. But in no case is it necessary to convince him that his mother or father is bad. Remember that the child is already experiencing stress, especially when he did not know what was foster. Therefore, always give him the opportunity to think and analyze independently. Just when you notice that biological parents are trying to extort something again, give him a hint at this and, incidentally, point out the situation, give some example and let yourself think. Children can not stand when they are crushed and immediately start a counterattack. But when they are allowed to think for themselves, the guys begin to analyze everything and eventually come to the right decision.
But still, if we talk about the situation when the relatives of the adopted child appear, your task is to try to make sure that at least neutral relations are established between the whole family, so to speak. And best of all, friendly. The fact is that many parents make a mistake and immediately begin treating the child's relatives with hostility. This is completely wrong. Of course, parents have a feeling that someone wants to take a child and they begin to protect him. But it can be that relatives completely recognize your parents' rights, they just want to participate in the life of the child, because they simply love him.