As you know, neighbors are not chosen, and therefore we have to put up with those who live behind the wall or behind the fence, and their habits. At times, neighborly relations grow into a strong friendship, and sometimes into a terrible enmity. How not to allow a terrible war between apartments, and even houses, and to establish a long-awaited peace? The rights and obligations of neighbors - residents of the home, as well as peaceful ways of influencing them are set out below.
LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR
According to the statistics of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia, more than 5% of all crimes are committed on household grounds by neighbors. Indeed, in modern science there is even such a thing as "psychology of neighbors". On the one hand, you seem to be not exactly strangers, and for many years you have been living on one site, and on the other - you are not close relatives, and therefore have every right to feel hostility to each other and show aggression. You can have a completely different attitude to life, cleanliness, ways of pastime - there's nothing wrong with that. In addition, you do not have to rejoice at each other's successes. However, in this case, dislike will accumulate and, undoubtedly, will grow into a real enmity if you do not stop on time and do not remember the main neighborhood commandment - love your neighbor as yourself! The law adds: Know your rights and responsibilities.
Nobody says that at one point you suddenly need to love the Petrovs with their difficult teenage son, an annoying grandmother, who likes to drink his nephew and loudly barking at the dog - in short, all the neighbors - the residents of the house at once. Instead of being nervous and worried about each and every occasion, change your attitude to the situation. Try to establish your rules on the landing. The key to your success is courtesy and your own correct behavior. If you require silence after 23.00, remember that you will soon have a birthday. And therefore, instead of putting forward an ultimatum, offer to arrange evening gatherings, for example, once a month, warning each other about them in advance. If you are tired of reminding neighbors about keeping clean, write a polite letter and hang it in the corridor or elevator. It is not necessary to use rude expressions and imperatives, a declaration like "We are not pigs! Stop littering on the stairs and throw everywhere bulls! ", Of course, very expressive, but ineffective. On the contrary, a polite letter, suggesting to cherish the house and treat it with love, will make the negligent neighbors think. In the end, put an ashtray or a tin on the stairs and write on it: "Put cigarette butts in me" - putting a reconciling smiley in the end. Neighbors will surely appreciate your sense of humor and resourcefulness and will gladly take advantage of your invention.
Another key to a good relationship with neighbors is understanding! Try to enter the position of those who live behind your wall. They are not at all guilty that their five-month-old child does not sleep at night, and grandfather loudly coughs and moves on crutches. Some circumstances simply can not be changed, and therefore the way out for you is to accept and experience temporary inconvenience.
HOW NOT TO IRRIT THEM?
An outsider may not like you in anything, even your hat. However, there are things that get on the nerves of almost everyone!
♦ Wealth. Good furniture, expensive furnish of an apartment, a home theater with a screen full-length, a foreign car under the window - all this will cause envy of those whose material well-being leaves much to be desired. There is nothing to be surprised at here - psychologists consider envy "a natural feeling, the structure of which includes competition, suffering from the thought that the other has that desired thing that I do not have, and the hatred caused by it."
What to do: look for friendships with peers on social status by people, and with less prosperous neighbors keep a neutral relationship, do not invite them to visit, do not ask to watch another novelty.
♦ Household accidents. If you often fill your neighbors with water and regularly arrange a shortage of wiring, expect trouble. This is not pleasant to anyone and never! According to the law, the injured party has the right to demand compensation for the moral and material damage inflicted (albeit unintentionally).
What to do: it is better to make necessary repairs in advance. Do not wait until your pipe breaks and water rushes to the floor, call the plumber at the first sign of an emergency. In addition, every call due to a malfunction is recorded in the control books, and if the accident does happen, you will have a wonderful excuse in court.
♦ Repair. Constantly drilling neighbors can make even the most inveterate Stoics out of themselves.
What to do: before starting the repair, be sure to ask neighbors, are they not too hindered by noise and at what time is it better to conduct work? In advance, ask for forgiveness for the inconvenience - the permission will untie your hands.
HARD DRINKS
All people are different, but certain types among neighbors still meet.
♦ Activist. She recently retired, and therefore still can not abandon the rabid labor rhythm. Such a woman rushes headlong into the solution of public problems and immediately becomes the head of the whole house - she is a hundred times a day running to you to collect signatures for another minor change in the entrance and complain to the Ivanovs from the fifth floor that show no social activity .
Way of communication: do not give in to all the money and do not argue. God forbid a quarrel with the activist.
♦ The happy old woman. In a frigid frost and terrible heat, she and her friends are sitting on a bench and closely watching everyone who enters and leaves the entrance. She will notice your new short skirt and make a loud conclusion about your indecent behavior, she will tell you that not only girls, but also boys came to your daughter, and her husband smoked very long with a lonely Svetlana Petrovna from the 45th apartment.
Way of communication: skip over ears and do not believe anything. Do not pay attention to caustic remarks. After all, these old women are often useful. If in your house, God forbid, there will be some misfortune, they will be the first to tell the police about all the signs of the robber, and even will warn theft themselves.
♦ Kind soul. She can be any number of years - from 13 to 90. She always goes for bread, sit with the child, lend, walk the dog, water the flowers and just support you at any moment.
Way of communication: be friends, make friends and once again make friends! Just do not sit on her neck, try to help each other.
♦ Young beauty. She grew up in front of the whole house and in a flash she turned from an ugly duckling into an insanely beautiful nymphet. Moreover, that very sympathetic old woman constantly tells you that your husband looks at this young beauty.
Way of communication: in fact, it is unlikely that your partner is going to change you with a young neighbor. However, if you still feel jealousy, it's better to talk to him and solve all the problems.
♦ Neighbor-builder. Repair is the image of his life. From morning till night he drills something, cuts and nails. He wakes you up on an early Sunday morning and does not let you fall asleep deep into the night.
Way of communication: in advance specify acceptable hours for repair. Do not hesitate to say that you are not ready all weekend to listen to not the most pleasant sounds in the world and, most importantly, to wake up to them at 6-7 and even at 9 am.
♦ A drunkard. There are such in every house. He will tell you about his bitter fate and will not hesitate to ask a hundred for beer, vodka or bread. Do not expect that he will return them or listen to your advice and quit drinking.
Way of communication: in reality, pity is not the most correct feeling. Do not be afraid to deny your neighbor a drunk. It is better to feed it at home than to lend to bread and milk.
THE RULES OF THREE "NOT" WITH NEIGHBORING NEIGHBORS
• Do not allow close communication, so that they, God forbid, do not take your good attitude for friendship. Always keep a distance! This is very important, because you are unlikely to actually get close to such people and sooner or later you will want to break with them, any relationship. That's when the memory of the lost friendship will give them strength to fight with you.
• Do not try to bribe them - most often it's useless. They will most likely take gifts as handouts, and your good intentions are a sign of weakness.
• Do not answer questions like "Who came to you yesterday?" With a phrase from the category "You do not care". It's best to translate the conversation smoothly into the discussion of TV shows, TV shows or anything else that is certainly more interesting than your private life. Do not tell anything about yourself, but do not try to hide anything - the presence of forbidden subjects will only spur your curiosity. Let them watch TV better and listen to the radio!
GENERAL RULES OF CONDUCT
/ After moving to a new house and finishing the repair, bake pies or buy them at the nearest store and go to the neighbors. This visit will signify your gratitude for their patience during the repair and construction work in your apartment.
/ Try to greet all the tenants in the house - in the end, be silent in the elevator and pretend that you've never seen each other, it's just indecent.
/ Do not refuse neighbors in trifles: salt, sugar, matches can suddenly be needed for you. Sometimes it is not fair to sit with the neighbor's baby, and walk the dog of the sick Maria Petrovna. In addition, remember that by agreeing to water the flowers during the holiday of Smirnov, you have every right to ask them to feed your cats during your trip to the sea. However, mutual assistance is a good thing, however, if the neighbors have sat down with you; neck, do not be afraid to refuse them.
/ Do not get too involved in the life of neighbors. It is unlikely that you would be happy if sympathetic people informed you that your husband brings a woman into the apartment. But to warn that the neighbor's daughter was carried away by alcohol or drugs, it is necessary.
/ Do not forget to reconcile with neighbors the redevelopment in your apartment and the installation of a garage in the yard - they have a legal right to do so. Ignoring the rights and obligations of neighbors - the residents of the house has not led anyone to the point of good.
Personal experience: Irina Belkina, 29 years old.
When we moved to a new apartment, I immediately realized that neighbors would not give me life. Right behind the wall was a large family with screaming preschool children, difficult teenagers and regular classmates. I was just pregnant and very keen on everything reacted. However, when Vanya was born, I realized that in fact, I was lucky with neighbors. Firstly, I can always turn to them for advice, and secondly, I can leave the house at any time and ask one of the children or adults to sit with my baby, well, and thirdly, I know for sure , that no one will complain about my not very quiet son. I'm glad that I have such close friends!