School harassment: who is to blame and what to do?

"If they're mocking you, it's not your fault, but it's your problem," says former victim Aj Mairok, a schoolboy. She knows first hand how hard it is to be left alone among the hostile peers. To help students who find themselves in a similar situation, Aidzha wrote the book "Why me? The history of the white crow. "

Children often assign someone from their classmates to outcasts, and this can greatly poison the life of a vulnerable child. And in the worst case - end in tragedy. After all, there are many cases when adolescents committed suicide, because each day they were harassed by their peers. Aija explains to those who have been abused, that it is not worth listening to the abusers and looking for the cause of the conflict in themselves: "It seems to you that there is something in you that irritates everyone and that you need to get rid of this trait. Well, that does not suit them? My voice? Leather? Figure? Gait? Hair color? Clothing? No, it's not that at all. Believe me, if you are bullied, then the problem is not in you, but in those who poison you. If you are bullied because you are different from others, then your offenders have something wrong. They are so unsure of themselves that they are putting their problems on you. " Like no other, Aija understands: when faced with school baiting, you need to be as cautious as possible, because physical and psychological security is first of all. Therefore, in her book the girl tells how to behave on the Internet, school and at parties to avoid trouble. It gives simple but very important advice, for example:

• Carefully study the security settings and limited access to social networks. There is nothing strange here - celebrities and public figures often use the restriction of access to their pages. Famous people have fans, but there are enemies. So, on them the mud pours down - they are your comrades in misfortune.
• Teachers usually do not control the vestibule, and there is always chaos. Precautions: Minimize the time you spend in the lobby, move quickly. This applies to any open space where you can be attached to a large company.
• Before accepting an invitation to a party from someone of the same age, ask yourself a few questions. How do I really feel about the person who invites me? Where is this house? Who else will be there? Is it possible that there will be drugs and alcohol at the party? Will someone at home be at home? The person who invites me to visit really treats me well, or do I just want to think so?

This instruction should be for every child who suddenly turned out to be a target for attacks. But, probably, it is even more important to give him faith in himself. The author's story will help the teenager understand that schoolboying is not the end of the world. At school Aija felt helpless, but then she found real friends, was able to realize herself in the work and received several prestigious literary awards. Here's what else she says on this topic: "Do you know that many celebrities were also persecuted at school? Lady Gaga, for example, said in an interview that she had "scars left for life". Thousands of children around the world are faced with mockery of classmates. And many of them eventually become successful or even famous people: doctors, actors, scientists, writers, politicians, musicians - and nobody knows who else! Of course, they pass a painful and difficult path. However, difficulties can not last forever. Do not give up. You have a great future. "

But how exactly does a teenager find himself, if he is surrounded by enemies and constantly scrolls dark thoughts in his head? Aija also gives an answer to this question. To increase self-esteem and feel happy, the child must engage in what he is interested in: sports, creativity, scientific experiments. This will help to make new acquaintances and cope with troubles. Ayja advises: "Do what you love (and no matter who and what thinks). Disclosure of creativity is one of the greatest benefits that you can receive through school conflicts. Creativity takes you to a special world, where you can forget about everything else. "

Beginning to write a book, Aija Mirok was thinking about the children trapped in the same trap as she. How should a child do if he was given a war without reason and is showered with laughter every day? In a kind and very inspiring manual "Why me?" The teenager will find both moral support and useful advice from a person who really knows what he is talking about.