Most men after the death of their wife tend to quickly create a new family. But the pain of loss and the incredibly hard grief can not survive. It often happens that a widower in a new family involuntarily introduces negative moments. A new woman incorrectly compares with her former wife.
Before women who want to create a family with a widower, the question arises: how to build trust and calm relations with him? How not to strive to match a woman who has passed away, but gently show off her face? One must know that remarriage has very significant psychological traps.
The memory of a person is arranged in such a way that when a loved one goes away from life, all the negative in the former relationship also disappears from it. As a rule, widowers idealize their departed spouse, she becomes a person for them without any shortcomings. All the following wives are compared to the untimely departed beloved wife. It is very difficult to live in such conditions, because each of us is unique and completely different from the other.
Widow mistakes
Often, widowers make the same mistake. They are engaged in the search for a new wife, whose type must match the type of ex-wife. Projecting virtues and qualities on a new spouse. It is very difficult for a woman to meet his expectations all the time. This can only be done by patient and confident women. They can wisely build a family life in the new conditions, under the new rules. Help her husband part with the former picture of the world, will offer him a unique picture.
Relationship Strategy
A woman who marries a widower should also know and understand that her former wife will also be tested in her life. Harmonious family ties can only be built with patience and love. Failures and scandals, mutual reproaches will only lead to an imminent and painful break.
You must try to understand your new husband, help him reduce the pain of loss. Your task is to switch his thoughts and attention to the serious construction of new relationships. To overcome this period of adaptation must be done together, because your fates are now unifying. Try to follow these simple practical tips:
- Take away all objects belonging to the ex-spouse. Do not throw away her things, photos. So you can further exacerbate the pain of the soul of the suffering husband. Fold them in a box and put in storage in the pantry. And if he asks you about their finding, he will hear a wise answer.
- Try not to remind him of the loss by deeds or words. But always be prepared to react to terse comparisons or unwarranted remarks in your address. Understanding his condition, you leave the situation with dignity.
- Develop a plan for long-term activities to eliminate emotions. Camping, walking together, family holidays will help you get closer to each other. At any opportunity, suggest to him that the departed wife will not be forgotten, her memory will always be bright. But to live is real, and the past is impossible to return. Time will pass, and with it will leave and the pain of loss. And then you can celebrate together the victory over despondency.
- Take his actions and actions towards the previous family with respect and calmly. Do not interfere with his regular trips to the cemetery. Time will gradually fix it. Teach him unobtrusively to everyday tasks in a new family, gradually he will get used to another routine of his new life.
- Do not put "diagnoses" and treat his actions and words as a mental illness. Each person in his own way is experiencing the grief and pain of losing his native person. We need to live together for a certain time and during this period try to learn how to live happily with another person.