Once in the life of every parent comes a time when it is necessary for the child to leave one house. The younger the baby and the less often he used to remain alone, the more difficult he can experience separation from his parents. Probably, every child is afraid of lagging alone at home. The absence of parents can make him feel lonely and defenseless. Even the rooms and things that the child is used to can cause him a sense of fear.
Reasons why a child is afraid to stay alone
Experts argue that often the factor of development of this type of childhood fears are the parents themselves. For example, parents watch movies, news or programs that tell of murders, robberies, bandits and monsters who make their way to houses and attack people. And all this can be seen by children. Often in a conversation with other adults, parents can discuss some unpleasant events, for example, as someone bites a dog, a thief climbed into someone else's house and at the same time not noticing that a child who is even busy with his own affairs, all this hears. Hence the children and the fear arises that if they stay at home alone, something necessarily happens to them that is bad.
According to children's psychologists, at the heart of the child's fear of staying home alone is his low self-esteem. When parents are near, the child feels more protected and more secure. The closeness of parents for him is the best hiding place, than even the most solid door with a lot of locks. The rupture of such parental protection causes anxiety, insecurity and loneliness in the child. The kid begins to think that he does not need his parents and that they can throw him at any moment. And if the child is too developed fantasy, then this fear can be particularly difficult.
Such children's fears are widely reflected in children's folklore. There are many terrible stories that are transmitted orally from generation to generation. Especially popular these data acquire from children 7-12 years old. What is surprising is that it is in this, quite an adult age, that the fear of staying home alone occurs most often.
How to cope with a child's fear of being alone
Fears in children can be very persistent, but the correct tactics and patience of parents will help to quickly achieve the desired result. To begin with, parents should behave consistently. In no case can you scold a child, blame him for cowardice and set conditions. The main condition for an effective fight against child fear is a loving family, that is, not a minute a child should not feel that he is not loved.
Also psychologists give parents the following advice:
- Before you leave, the baby should tell where you are going, why and when you will return. However, it is absolutely necessary to mention the possible delay and to set the time for a call to a mobile or home phone. Remember that children closely follow the time.
- If you decide to go somewhere, do not tell the child that you can change your mind. This hope can aggravate the fear of the baby. Therefore, one should be affectionate, but firm in decision and behavior.
- It is forbidden to force a child to go to sleep in your absence. It is better to include a children's film or a cartoon film, leave a book or an interesting lesson. This will help him to escape from his fear and the time of your absence will fly for him faster.
- It is strictly forbidden to shame and ridicule a child - this can increase his fear and lead to the development of other psychological problems.
- Do not talk and do not show concern about this problem with relatives and friends in the presence of the child. Children are often emotional and sensitive, such conversations can lead to the child deciding that he is seriously ill.
- Returning home, bring the baby some small treat or gift. Such a pleasant "event" will help the child understand that they do not forget about him.
- Parents should in no case indulge children's fears.
- Do not allow children to watch films with scenes of violence, broadcasts about accidents and accidents, play cruel computer games. An emotional child tends to try on similar situations for his family.