How often do we ask ourselves - what is love? Does it exist at all? Are marriages always based on feelings and what are the components of a happy marriage? Two different people are very difficult to get along on the same territory, the marriage implies a long grinding of two people who grew up and brought up completely differently.
Even different household habits can cause grandiose scandals. Do not create a family without love. When you love a person, you very quickly perceive his lifestyle, accept his habits, do not pay much attention to minor shortcomings.
Ironically, the smaller the age and the lower the educational level of marriage partners, the easier they get along together. And if two grown-up people converge, it is very, very difficult to get used to each other's society, even if there is sympathy. These are the natural components of a happy marriage.
After all, paradox, it would seem, adults should have a certain life experience and be more flexible in their relationships, but the habits that have lasted for years turn out to be so strong that it is almost impossible to change oneself. And women are often too demanding for their chosen ones: they did not hang a towel after use, closed the tube with toothpaste, threw socks in the wrong place, did not hang things in the closet, did not wash the cup after them ... Yes, there is not much to find fault with.
So, if you decided to start a family and live together happily, you should be committed to cooperation in all areas.
- Life
It is very important to establish a common life. It will be easier to do this if you live without parents and other family members. And always proceed from what you feel for your marriage partner. After all, for a loved one you can do everything. How do you know if you really love your man or do you only think that?
- Real feelings
Remember, only true feelings bring joy. You wake up in the morning, your husband is near you. What do you feel about him now? You look at his neck, on his open shoulders, you are very pleased to see him, you hear his heart beating, you get an unbelievable pleasure from touching him, you are excited by his breath, you really want to kiss him right now where in the area between the shoulder blades and breathe in his scent ... Do you like kissing his sleeper? Definitely, this is love, do not even hesitate!
- Sacrifice
Are you ready to sacrifice yourself, your time, opportunities, desires, forces for your love? True love does not happen without sacrifices, it must be learned from the beginning. It should be borne in mind that sacrifice implies that you do not expect anything in return, you do not need a payment for love, you love without any conditions. You do everything for your loved one that is within your power. And about any benefit can not be a question. Only on such feelings can build a strong family. The ideal situation is when a man feels the same way about you. But a man loves a little wrong, he may not be ready to make sacrifices for you, considering it only as your whims (maybe it really is, if we allow to be capricious, then we will definitely do it).
One should not confuse true love, which does not set conditions, with passion or dependence, which are never components of a happy marriage. Passion is short-lived, and dependence does not make a person happy, on the contrary, he suffers from such a "love". In my deep conviction, love makes a person happy, regardless of whether it is mutual or not, next to you is your favorite person or you do not see him and do not hear for a long time. But if you are lucky enough to start a family with your loved one, then you have to work hard.
The first enemy on the road to a happy marriage is our own selfishness. With egoism you need to actively fight. Do not be afraid to live for others, do not be afraid to sacrifice yourself for your loved ones. The main condition is not to wait for anything in return. The less claims we make to our chosen one, the stronger our love for him. If you constantly torment your husband with demands to do something, become somebody, decide on something, change for you, the sooner he will understand that you do not love him, because that's the way it really is, and just use to your advantage. AT
It is important that your loved one feels your love. If you do everything in your power without demanding anything from others, the other members of the family will behave in a similar way. Just do not have to doubt it, you have connected your life with your loved one.
- Ability to forgive
The ability to forgive is another condition that makes a happy marriage. Build relationships - it is always very, very difficult, because each of us pretends to be the "unique and unique" for his chosen one.
We want a beloved man to cherish and cherish us, but not always so it turns out. There are minor household quarrels, major scandals for some reason, resentment, mistrust. If it's hard for you to understand by virtue of your upbringing, why did your beloved man do this, then you should try to forgive him, especially if he asks you for forgiveness. Not always a man, even knowing that he is not right, will ask for forgiveness.
Forgive him in this case too. After all, you love him, do not you? So, you need it and you can not imagine your life without it, and, therefore, contact should be established and you should set it up. A woman is a much wiser diplomat in family relations than a man.
And why do you need a family?
Do you really need a family? What does it mean to you? Is this part of your life or is it just a way to simplify your life? Marriage is not entertainment and pleasure, it's hard work, and above all, you need to work on yourself, on your shortcomings, and not demand to change your partner.
Learn to forgive, endure, love, work on yourself and take responsibility for yourself. Learn to control your feelings. Controlling the feelings, you can always hear your loved one and understand him. If you are not ready for all this, you are unlikely to endure the hardships of family life. If you decide to start a family, then you must do your best to ensure that every member of your family is happy. This is for you, you only need your desire.