We all strive for happiness, we want to achieve a feeling of comfort and harmony with the world around us. And for most people, and for women in particular, love is one of the important components of this happiness. But if for the fairer sex many love compliments, burning eyes of admirers, baskets of flowers and other pleasantness serve as an indicator of love, then for the stronger sex such indicator is the sexual excitement of the lady of the heart in their address ...
Today we invite you to discuss the main secrets of sexual harmony. What can we, women, be able to please their partners in bed, so that they then give us spiritual warmth and care? To be precise, the conversation will not be about what needs to be done, but about what should not be done. After all, because of the difference in perception of the world, women and men sometimes look at the same things, as they say, from different bells. And what we perceive as something natural, our faithful can piss off to white heat.
Secret 1: "LONG DREAM!"
Of course, in nature there are cold ladies who really have any sex before the light bulb. However, as specialists have found out, there are not so many of them. And most importantly, often such a world view can be adjusted. But in the overwhelming majority of cases this indifference is not real, but the external is the result of upbringing. We are afraid to seem too cheeky and lascivious to our partners, and therefore we restrain passions that rage in us with the power of reason. And they suffer and are angry.
Remember: reproaching a man for the fact that he regularly tunes in for a sexual wave, offers new options for a love game - verbally or by his behavior - we strongly offend them. And even such innocent and natural, from the female point of view, nuances of behavior, as embarrassment from the offer to have sex, men tend to regard as reproach. This reproach can be formulated approximately like this: "Striving for sex to such an extent is abnormal, these are purely animal desires inherent only in lower beings."
As a refusal or reproach the representatives of the stronger sex consider the passivity of partners during intimate games. On the one hand, being forced to take the initiative on themselves, they are afraid to hear refusal. On the other hand, they often think this way: "Since she does not react to my caresses, then I'm a bad lover, I do not" get it ". But in fact, no one likes to be bad, wrong, especially men. That's why they are angry.
How to be?
It is useless to dissuade partners in the opposite, especially in words. If you are interested in really warm and harmonious relationships with this particular man, then you need to reconsider your attitude to intimacy. Assess your abilities soberly: can you forget everything you taught in your childhood and give vent to your sexuality or have to seek help from a sex therapist? After all, in fact, normal healthy men are only happy if their ladies are in a frivolous mood and take the initiative, offering all the new options for bedtime fun.
Of course, the first steps in this difficult matter will have to be done through I can not. The funny thing is that in this situation it's not only possible, but you need to ask for help from your partner. Try to talk to him, but not at the moment of intimacy. Tell him that you would like to change your bed relationship. Ask what he would like from you, tell me, by what methods, words, he can help you relax.
Some women are helped in gaining sexual harmony erotic literature or videos. Someone is easier to get acquainted with such material alone, and someone is not against the neighborhood of her husband or partner. The main thing is to make a decision about what exactly you have to rebuild your attitude to sex, and not to focus on the momentary "do not want to."
Secret 2: "CHANGE YOUR PARTNER WITH PARTICULAR ROLES"
Who is not flattered by the fact that a woman in everything relies on the opinion and experience of her partner! Many, however, like it only at first, because from the partner himself, such relationships require tremendous tension. Still would! In fact the lady has handed over itself to it, that is has assigned thereby the responsibility to it. And if this responsibility is not only for her fate, but also for her orgasm? That's where the dog is buried. Men are flattered if they are listened to. But if any utterance 'or action is perceived as the ultimate truth, it is uncomfortable, because it is responsible. Namely, our strong representatives of humanity are responsible most of all.
The same is true of sex. It's nice to be an experienced lover. But if the lady, being not in a playful mood, suddenly got no discharge, she can quite say: "Well, what about you? You must know everything and be able to do everything! And I was not "warmed up". But this is not at all pleasant. A man feels like an exam, worries, subconsciously afraid not to cope. And as a result, more and more avoid meetings. And this is already unpleasant for his lady.
How to be?
Well, firstly, let's remember that orgasm is the fruit of joint efforts. Secondly, every woman is a mystery, each has its own main secrets. Yes, there are certain techniques that excite the majority of women, but it is you who may not act. Therefore, once and for all to describe the role in love games like "slave - leader" is wrong and just boring. Thirdly, a man can not penetrate the thoughts of his lady, even if he lived with her side by side for a long time. What's wrong with that, if you tell him some options for action that will bring pleasure to both?
However, it is also impossible to get involved in hints. Representatives of the stronger sex do not like unconditional dictates. And if one scenario of your "merges" is like the other ... "First take off your blouse. No, it's slower. Now pantyhose. Kiss in the neck. No, this is not the neck, it's back. I asked in the neck! "Well, and so on. Is it interesting? In any case, men from such "pointers" begin to feel bad lovers and are very afflicted.
Let's agree: if you are interested in this man and you are trying to build with him a strong and pleasant relationship, try to treat intimate moments as a mutual creativity. If so, two are different. Today - you, tomorrow - he. Predictability in any business will sooner or later lead to a dead end. Try to remember this!
Secret 3: "LEARN THE BODY OF THE PARTNER"
Many women just do not know how much men identify with their penis. Almost according to Mayakovsky: "We say" party ", we mean" Lenin ". We say "Lenin", we mean the "party". Here and there is the same story.
Proceeding from this axiom, remember: insufficient attention to the genitals of a partner during lovemaking, fear of touching them - is an insult. And it is also necessary to touch with the mind. If a woman, caressing a man's penis, is clearly disgusted or afraid that this object "is about to explode" in her hands, it is unlikely that he will want a repetition. After all, all our emotions, if not written on the face, it is clearly felt tactile. A representative of the stronger sex subconsciously convinced: if his "main virtue" is caused by negative emotions, then he himself is not to court.
Another undesirable extreme is to reduce all the love affair to the caresses of one penis. The man begins to feel as if you are trying to get him to start quickly to finish the intimacy in record time. Thought itself is not very pleasant.
How to be?
When choosing a method for overcoming one's own uncertainty and fears, one must again make a decision: do not take advantage of the help of a specialist. In the event that you decide to act independently, try to talk with your close acquaintances (women) and ask for their advice: how to solve this problem. Perhaps it will become easier for you after some of your friends confess that they are experiencing the same problems. The experiences are intimate, so we feel lonely in these problems and often do not realize that our difficulties are typical. Well, of course, it would be nice to read the literature, in which again experienced experts set out solutions to the problem.
If you are sincerely convinced that your man has only one erogenous zone on his body - genitals, try asking him a question (only not in bed, but before "that" or after): what other caresses does he expect from you? Maybe he is asleep and sees that you will begin a love foreplay with a massage or finally think of scratching it behind your ear? And you are neither sleep nor spirit. Remember yourself, because you do not like when his hands at the first minute are in your coveted place. I want another beginning. And men are also people.
But it is likely that you will not hear anything sensible in answer to your question. Your partner, just like you, piously believes that his intimate experiences live only in the penis area. Then we'll have to look for what's called a poke method. Try to caress it then, then, then unobtrusively ask: is it nice?
Secret 4: "LOVE YOURSELF BEAUTIFUL!"
All of us are very sensitive to beauty. And because thoughts of their own appearance take up quite a lot of space in our heads. Only some of the fairer sex, by virtue of the circumstances, consider themselves to be not very sexual and endlessly grieve about it. And the other, on the contrary, day and night working to look more and more attractive, well-groomed, etc. So, each of these extremes knocks the men out of the rut. Want to please your husband or partner, find a middle ground in relation to your appearance.
To understand why this happens is actually quite simple. Imagine this situation: every time, undressing, a woman begins to moan and give out phrases like "Look, what I have become fat!" Or "Lord, why do I have such ugly legs!" The man strains, because he needs to object, then a compliment to smooth the situation. But if in response to compliments groans are heard, it starts to irritate. In the end, the gentleman comes to the conclusion that he was mistaken in choosing a lady.
However, the mistress who at the most crucial moment suddenly exclaims: "Oh, my eyelashes fall off!" Or "Carefully, you'll ruin my makeup!", Too, is unlikely to cause a warm feeling for her man. It is impossible to kiss her passionately-the lipstick will be smeared. On the cheeks layers of powder - it's tasteless. Then her earring caught on the edge of the sheet, then the tender hand scratched the ringlet! In general, instead of pleasure - some strains. Hence the irritation, and possibly the breakdown of relations.
How to be?
With the complexes it is possible to fight, although it is difficult. There are a lot of options here. One of the most popular in recent times is photography. Find a talented photographer and ask him to make your portrait in such a way that the shortcomings of the physique are completely invisible, and the dignities were presented, as they say, in full. Hang in the most prominent place and admire yourself, making sure that you have a lot of that beautiful and charming. Many women are better than any antidepressant in such cases helps contemplation of their own portrait in the style of "nude." Maybe this is the best way out for you? Risk it!
A great way is auto-training. It will be superfluous to periodically say to yourself all the kind and pleasant words, looking straight into the eyes (that is, in the mirror).
And further. Every time you hear a compliment in your address, swallow ready to break out the objections. It's better just say: "Thank you!" And smile.
In fact, the same can be advised to those women who can not afford even bread without a make-up. Look beautiful, neat, well-groomed - great! However, if this your feature jeopardizes the relationship with your beloved, then why is it? Try to learn how to love all your faces that can only be: both natural - without paint, and slightly "painted", and in "full combat paint."
Secret 5: "DO NOT REJECT THE" SURVEY "
This is one of the main secrets of sexual harmony of partners. Yes, yes, that's right, do not do it yourself, but take such actions from the gentleman. The fact that men love, when they are satisfied with a "session of oral sex," they know if not all, then very many. But they gladly do it themselves! And terribly offended, when a woman refuses under this or that pretext from such "gifts". And the point here is not that men enjoy the process itself, but that oral sex is regarded as the most intimate act of all sexual activities. And if the lady does not accept him, then he does not trust me.
And one more nuance. The degree of satisfaction of men with each individual act of love largely depends on the degree of satisfaction of his partner. Well, we like our blagovernym to give us pleasure! Many men experience a literally moral orgasm from the fact that the lady of the heart is in the seventh heaven from his caresses. They were made by nature and have nothing to take offense at.
How to be?
Of course, if for you oral sex is completely unthinkable, just overpower yourself, to bring a man pleasure, not worth it. But you can try to reconsider your attitude to this act of your relationship. Sometimes it is advisable to go to a consultation with a sex therapist. Ask your man not to rush while with oral caresses. Let it "turn on" you, using completely different techniques. Perhaps, having reached a high degree of excitement, you will treat oral sex much easier.
You can talk with your partner in a relaxed atmosphere and ask him to explain to you why he insists on this occupation and what feelings he is experiencing. There is a possibility that after such a conversation you will treat oral sex as a purely sexual action and forget that through the genitals, the processed remains of food are also removed from the body ...
And some women experience so strong emotions at the same time that they are simply frightened of sensations of this magnitude. In this case, you need to agree in advance with your partner that he will introduce you into the world of such relations gradually, that is, dosed.
And in conclusion I would like to remind you that in most cases our misunderstandings (including intimate ones) are resolved in the course of the conversation. Talking about sex, even with your beloved husband is not always easy. But it's useful. Remember this and do not put off any problems that arise, but try to find a way out as soon as possible. What we wish you!