I suggest, first, decide who you are? No, I understand that you have known your sex for a long time, but I'm not talking about this. Surely, you heard that inside of each person lives his inner man (hereinafter - VM) and the inner woman (hereinafter - VZh). They, very often, determine your actions, actions and behavior. In addition to them, you still have yourself, that is, your Reason based on your Will. Sometimes the opinions of this trinity coincide, sometimes they diverge, and then you do not at all what your Mind chose, that is yourself.
Imagine that VM and VZ occupy some part of your inner world. Let's see what a person represents, in which the VM occupies 90% of the internal space, and the VZ - 10%. How do you think?
In case this is a man, then this is a pronounced male. He is self-confident, aggressive, with developed leadership qualities. Such individuals find themselves in power structures or special forces. In addition, they can be business executives, athletes, researchers and so on. In relations with women, naturally, they occupy a dominant position, that is, they are suitable for those representatives of the female who have a low self-esteem. They accept the manner and behavior of such a man. The rest, more independent and conscious women, with such a person will be difficult, because there are few points of contact.
What will happen if 90% of the population live in a woman? This is usually a strong, sharp, independent woman with a male style of behavior and thinking. Naturally, such representatives of the weaker sex, find themselves in politics, business, because they are good at playing men's games and portraying a man.
Such women have chronic problems in their personal lives. The most common option - a man bites on the exterior, but after several meetings disappears. Why? Yes, because normal men are very rarely attracted to men. More precisely, such women are of interest to men with a pronounced VZH. It's like men ... but they always need something like a cry in the vest or a strong man's shoulder.
In the event that such a woman accepts his domination, she can create a lesbian couple with another woman with a pronounced VZH.
Let's consider another extreme - the person, at which ВЖ occupies 90%
Female. She is all wonderful, she is feminine, loves children and family, her household affairs and so on. A lot of men are attracted to such women, because they do not build anybody and have a softly feminine character.
Man. Rather weak, soft, sensitive. Women, as a rule, are not particularly interested in him, so he eventually becomes gay in most cases.
We have considered quite extreme options, most of us, of course, occupy intermediate positions. If this is a man with a predominant VM, then this is a normal man with a man's behavior. If a woman has a stronger VZ, then this is a normal woman with her usual femininity .
How to deal with sex? That is, what problems, big and small, arise in this regard?
A woman with a dominant VM will have problems finding a partner as such, which means problems with sex.
A man with a strong VM will have problems in dealing with independent and developed women. In the event that it is attracted to such, difficulties are inevitable.
Harmonious relations are usually formed between a man who has a VM of 60-75% a woman with a VZ in the same range. The remaining 30-40% will provide a pair of comfortable contact and mutual understanding with the opposite sex.
There is such a book - monogamous Tantra. Its author, Atma, writes that our VM and VZ actively participate in our lives and attract those who are similar to them.
In addition, it says that our VM and VZ are ourselves, but in previous reincarnations. Naturally, it is impossible to verify this. However, the fact remains that we unconsciously draw into our lives similar people in anything. Assuming that this is the work of our VM and VZ, you can roughly estimate how they look and what they are. I think it's very interesting, and, at the same time, quite simply.
VZh.
If you are a woman, then approximately imagine your girlfriends, what traits of character and external data they possess. Find something in common and you can think that this is exactly what your VZ looks like, creating a company and surrounding women similar to it.
It is even more interesting to observe yourself and understand what qualities you have in abundance, and which you consider undesirable for yourself. Trying to get rid of them, but not much happens. For example, you are too much attached to the object of your love. It is only natural that a man is not ready to bear the burden of responsibility for a woman who has practically abandoned her personal and not only life for him. At the same time, you understand that this quality only hinders, but you can not do anything about it. Perhaps this is inherent in your VG, which has a low self-esteem and is constantly afraid to remain alone.
If you are a man, then remember the external and internal features of your chosen ones. It is possible that you have many times built relationships with women of a relatively equal appearance .. height, weight, etc. .. or with similar traits. If you manage to isolate similar details and make an approximate portrait - this is your VZH.
VM.
If you are a woman, then look back - with which men you most often built relationships, which men often met in your life. What do they have in common, and so on. And, here, we are not talking about the ideal to which you, perhaps, aspire, but about real partners.
For example, in dreams you see yourself with a strong, courageous, caring and well-off man, but you can not do anything with them. And in reality, you spend time with irresponsible detachments, which are fun and you can not think about tomorrow. In this case, this is your inner man. And it is he who selects you company, contrary to the interests of your Reason.
If you are a man, then look at your friends and closest friends. Think about what they have in common. They can be as similar to you, and very different. In the latter case, there may be problems that your VM will create.
For example, you are very reasonable, calm and pragmatic. And your friends are ambitious and problematic men. It may happen that your VM is exactly this, and it will periodically provoke you to actions that are not like you (quick-tempered and irritable).
If the general features are not visible.
Do not panic or do rash acts in order to reveal something similar in your friends and girlfriends. The most reasonable thing is not to do anything. Live on and cope with problems using the head.
Why is this possible? Some theories claim that several subpersonalities can live within us, and each of them in turn leads a friend or girlfriend. Accordingly, none of them dominate, and to reveal something common is difficult. This is normal.
However, let's return to the big and small problems in sex for those who are lucky to reveal the main features of their VM or VZH.
How to solve problems.
Very rarely, when you are satisfied with all the qualities that you possess. I always want to change, correct, remove, and so on. After you have learned about your subpersonalities living in you, there are even more reasons for internal regulation. Especially it concerns those cases when your internal VM or VZ create problems for you.
There are many theories that claim that you can change your VM and VZ. In particular, this is Psychosynthesis and NLP. There are special topics dedicated to this. If you have the desire and the opportunity to communicate with specialists in this field, then you can do it. However, to exaggerate their potential is not worth it, it's just people.
If there are no such people at hand, useful work can and should be done on your own. Here are a few basic steps of this process.
1. Identifying their dominant subpersonalities - we have already dealt with this.
2. Visualization. Imagine them, for example on the internal screen, when you close your eyes.
3.Conclusion and persuasion. Persuade the part that does not suit you, do not interfere with your life.
4. Observation. See and analyze what has changed and changed.
For example, take again, strictly a man with a 10% VZH. He should ask her to take more space in it. After that, you need to feel it a little and let it show. Not always .. although in some kind of intimate moments .. for example, in dance or sex. Perhaps this will solve all his problems in bed ... and the man himself will become more plastic and relaxed ..
A harsh woman with 80% VM can again ask the VM to make a little space and give the VG more space. You can ask her to show more femininity and softness. Naturally, the VM can argue in protest - possible losses in business and so on. Prepare for this and think through your position based on the fact that it will be better for everyone.
And then the most interesting - if you see that at the moment the sphere of interest, say, VZ, then mentally tell her to prove herself. After that, let go of internal control and observe what happens to your body and behavior. Of course, the effect does not appear immediately, it requires repeating the exercise 5 to 10 times.
Here the main thing is to believe in yourself. And you will see for yourself - miracles happen.
Than it is fraught?
It is known that the road is well-known by good intentions, you know where. The main danger is to get even more confused. At first you were alone, and now there are three of you. Who is responsible for the necessary changes and how to keep the situation under control? It is easy to get confused and become even more problematic and contradictory person. And if your subpersonalities begin to build barriers between them? It already smells of a psychic abnormality and is fraught with special treatment. It's unlikely that being in a mental health center is what you need. There are no solutions to problems in sex, as you understand. Therefore, if you are inclined to experiences and constant doubts, it is better not to touch your subpersonalities. Live as you have lived and do other things.
If you think that making your life partner asexual or not having absolutely no sexual desire for you, it is difficult - you are mistaken. Let's consider the simplest way or, better to say, the situation.
Stress.
Everything is known that stress is a state of strong excitation of the body, which our survival instinct evaluates as a threat to life. However, the excitement in this case is unpleasant, in no way connected with sexual arousal. Compare sex and stress together - and sex ends. For example, your loved one is excited, or looked porn, or saw a sexy blonde with a 4-m size bust and rolls up to you with .. clear than. And you are not in the spirit or offended. Dissolve it, excite even more, and then express everything you think. Consciousness is working quite clearly - now he has fixed in his head that sex is a dangerous business, because all men do not like such breakages. Repeat the situation several times, and that will be enough. You can, in order to consolidate the result, say something like "with this end is better and do not start" and you can assume that having sex with him is over. Especially with you.
The same applies to women - it costs a man a couple of times to release stupid remarks about her sexuality and her body will make the same conclusion: why should I have such stressful entertainment? Correctly. Not needed. At the same time, relations as a whole can remain beautiful.
How to solve problems with sex?
If you suddenly realized that you are subconsciously afraid of being in a funny situation, anticipating sexual pleasures because someone once offended you, hurt or humiliated on this ground, make friends with your fear! Visualize it, send him a whole stream of love, affection and tenderness. It can work. In addition, you can formulate your own fear and make some kind of anti-program. For example, tell yourself - "I'm afraid of having sex, because I'm afraid of being misunderstood or in a funny situation." Then make a statement with the opposite meaning - "I'm open to sex, I'm proud of myself absolutely always and I get only genuine pleasure from sex". After that, you need to spend a lot of time and energy to repeat or rewrite your installation several times, in order for the consciousness to capture this command and replace it with a negative attitude.
In a word, there is only the opportunity to make yourself better, you just have to make an effort and have patience.
Bad energy.
Obviously, sex improves health. But, in order to have sex, you need to have it at least in some quantity. Sex - like physical education, no matter how funny it sounded. And not important is your musculature, but rather an emotional state and internal energy. That is, if you are upset or have a bad sleep, then you will not have the strength for physical education. On the other hand, if you are in perfect spirits, full of energy, then go ahead ... there should be no problems with sex ... if, of course, there are people with whom to deal with it. In extreme cases, you are always at your fingertips, so do not get lost.
Much worse is the situation when for the hundredth time you are scrolling the unfortunate moment of your current career, exhausted or just depressed ... all your attention is focused on this, and where attention, there is energy. It's not up to sex ... at least good.
How to solve?
The answer is obvious - to get rid of all the negative, to gain strength, to sleep. But, this is not enough. Most likely, you are not accustomed to give attention to your genitals - really, think, what nonsense, I already have a lot of things to do.
Remember - energy will accumulate wherever your attention will be. So, in your case, it will be spent on solving the next problem at work or household situation. There are many ways to increase your sexuality - from reading erotic literature or watching porn movies, to masturbation (without ending). For women, another effective way to increase women's sexuality is thought up.
Toys.
In the East, a long time ago, they understood the importance of sexual relations and developed a multitude of ways to solve sexual problems - big and small.
Women for this can use special toys in the form of balls or eggs ... glass, stone or plastic. What happens in this case? Foreign body pleasantly irritates the vagina and attracts there heat and attention, which means energy! It is pleasantly poured on your body ... stopping an endless train of thoughts! There is a triple effect:
- Increased sexuality, you open up its new faces
- stops unnecessary running of thoughts, you relax, inner harmony rises
- Increase your own energy, which increases the likelihood of your success on the way to the tasks set.
What we have? Real sexual therapy.
For men like toys, unfortunately not. However, the fruit of your imagination and having a partner alongside can do wonders. In the end, think about ... what problems in sex you have ... whether you can deal with them yourself using the above methods or you need the help of a partner.
A little effort and all you will succeed.