While we meet, everything is fine. Well, maybe not perfect, but, in any case, everyone tries to look accordingly, shows itself from the best side. But this tension of strength can not last forever, and sooner or later we quarrel. The quarrel between loved ones is different from the wife's quarrel with her husband, because the relationship between a man and a woman, their manifestations depend very much on what stage they are. The quarrel in the candy-bouquet period is sweet and beautiful, the marriage of the newlyweds on the honeymoon is more like a summer storm - stormy, bright, after which it is still more green and more beautiful. The quarrel between the mother of his child and the "daddy" who has run up is bitter, like a winter ashberry; However, this taste is also dear to somebody with its astringency.
Why do we quarrel?
Is it really impossible to agree on all aspects of life once and for all, and stop dirty and disgusting to find out the relationship? It turns out, no. All life is inherent to change, and that the family as an organism was alive, it also changes with the passage of time. The relationship between a man and a woman never stops at one stage, so a quarrel with her husband is quite natural.
There is nothing surprising in the quarrel. We quarrel precisely because not only conditions change, but also our borders. We change roles and grow in social status, and we react to changes not by ourselves - only all at once. Therefore, within the family it is very important, after each such "external" change, to build boundaries, outline duties and voice requests to each other. And not always it can be done from the first time and painlessly - more often on the contrary.
The relationship between a man and a woman, a quarrel with a husband or wife is not an occasion to break off relations. As life is more or less settled, and love is still in the heart. And if they also unite children, then it's worth thinking about how to solve conflicts.
To suffer or not to suffer?
We spend a lot of time with each other. And everything that surrounds us can at some point become a reason for quarrel - from cosmetics left on the kitchen table - nail polish or make-up remover, to scattered socks or crumbled bread. We live side by side, and not always we have the same ideas about cleanliness, about the ideal color for the curtains in the bathroom ...
Further, having understood this common truth, it is necessary in advance, remembering possible conflicts, to agree that any negative feeling will immediately (or almost immediately) be expressed. This should become the norm of living together. After all, we are already "strained" - at work and in the kindergarten, from where you take the child, in the store and in transport. And there we must be tolerant, understanding, as calm as possible. Otherwise, all the time will take place in an endless war.
At home it is not only unbearable, but harmful. After all, if both endure for a long time, at the critical moment (when a certain maximum of claims is set or when a major puncture occurs) all are broken. And starting with the quarrel "about the harm of an unscrewed lid on a paste", do not be surprised that in the end both went to individuals and claims began at the level "you ruined my whole life". After all, both in the relationship, man and woman, a quarrel with a husband or wife begins with the best intentions.
How to act during a quarrel - an ideal option
Even before the quarrel, allow yourself to feel the pressure of aggression, bright and not very pleasant feelings for the spouse. After all, every relationship between a man and a woman sooner or later concerns a complex issue, which means that a quarrel with a husband is inevitable. Letting the steam down and at the same time diplomatically (with minimal losses) withdraw from the conflict - that's what the method of conducting a "home guerrilla" like a pendulum will allow.
So,
- The first expresses an idea - sort of like "kicks" the second.
- In this case, the second has the right and even should "kick" in response to the first, but necessarily - slightly weaker.
- Another series of mutual reproaches "on decreasing" (compare with traditional in many relationships the variant of a quarrel between a man and a woman - on increasing), and now a quarrel with her husband turns into concrete reproaches "in essence".
- Only without going over to personalities can we solve certain everyday problems without involving "virtual" participants in the form of Masha from the neighboring entrance or accountant Katerina, who "smiled mysteriously at the corporation".
Every problem must find its solution, and silence leads to the fact that many heterogeneous problems seem to be intertwined. So, it's almost impossible to solve them. Therefore, conflict, quarrel, defend your rightness to health! But like any treatment, a quarrel must be dosed and applied competently.