So, advice to parents: what can not be used in raising a child.
- Stick to the same rules.
In simple words, do not allow the child to do what he is forbidden, in any situation. For example, on the day off, you allowed the child to sit at the computer instead of 30 minutes - 2 hours, although this is usually forbidden for him. This is a great educational mistake, since the main principle in communicating with the child is consistency. It is impossible to learn the rules of the road, if today "stop" means red, and tomorrow - green. When creating reasonable prohibitions, there should be no exceptions to the rules.
- Never insult a child.
The child's psyche is unstable and vulnerable. Often offensive words, over which we do not think ("What an empty-headed!" Or "You're a terrible child!"), Can bring a child a trauma. He will close in himself, cease to communicate with you. It is difficult to get a baby out of this state, often such communication develops in the child unnecessary complexes that will spoil his future life. If you allowed yourself such treatment with a child, immediately conduct educational work with yourself and with your husband. Try to establish mutual understanding with the child, prove to him that he is the best for you. If necessary, ask for help from a child psychologist.
- Do not use threats to get anything from the child.
Threats and intimidation also violate the child's psyche. He becomes nervous, tense, which negatively affects his health as a whole. Expressions, like: "If you break the cup once more, I'll drive you out of the house!" - just unacceptable when communicating with the child. Threats will not improve your relationship, you just set the child against yourself. Even worse, if the kid starts to fear you.
- Do not make the child promise you anything.
Children do not understand what a promise is, because they have a poorly developed concept of the future. They live in today's day, so that they can not promise not to throw toys after that simply can not.
- Do not do for the child what he can do himself.
Excessive custody of children leads to the fact that they grow effeminate, weak-willed and capricious. Educate your child from an early age. Already from one and a half years the child should possess elementary skills of self-service. Do not do something for him, comforting yourself that it will be faster. If you are going for a walk, it is better to spend more time on the fees, but wait until the child himself will tie his shoelaces.
- Do not demand instant childish obedience.
Usually mothers get angry when they call the child for dinner, but he does not go, because he draws a picture or plays a game. It is necessary to understand that the child, engaged in this or that business, is keen on him, so he can not leave him at once and go at your call. Imagine yourself in its place, you probably would have done the same thing - would have continued for some time to do their own business. Before you call a child, you should warn that it will take you about 10 minutes. So the baby will be adjusted to the fact that after 10 minutes he will have to interrupt his occupation.
- Do not yield to all desires and requirements of the child.
We need to carefully consider the requirements and desires of the child, to distinguish between reasonable requirements and whims. Execution of children's whims can lead to the fact that the child will grow accustomed to what everyone does for him, that he always gets what he wants. Such people will not have a hard time in real life, in which independence is more often needed.
- Do not scold and teach the child too often .
Some parents communicate with children only in the form of abuse and censure. In their opinion, whatever the child did, it is all wrong and not good. If a child grows in such a situation, soon his mind adapts to constant reproaches from the parents, he simply ceases to perceive them. Such children subsequently are difficult to yield to any upbringing and are of the "difficult" type. The child should grow in a benevolent atmosphere.
- Allow the child to remain a child.
Model children are unhappy, they can not afford pranks, violent games, bad behavior. A child is a child, no matter how you raise it. You can not get him completely submissive and obedient. The beauty of childhood is that children are able to do what adults can not and do not allow themselves. Treat the child with kindness and understanding, and he will never give you big problems!