New Year's vows people give around the world: someone believes in the special magic of the first days of the year, someone likes to start life from scratch, and someone makes lists just like that, with friends for the company. All of us sometimes like to dream about an improved version of ourselves - about who is doing exercises every morning, eating only useful, never rudely grandsons and necessarily removes make-up for the night ...
True, more often than not, promises remain on the stripped sheet. The first of January comes to an end, and the second, third and further on the calendar - we still live, not our finalized copies. But every New Year we again hope that this time a feint with a change is certain to come about. And we are preparing new clean lists in place of the old ones.
Why are we so anxious to rewrite everything? Why do not we finish this? And most importantly - why the unfulfilled promises lie down on the neck with a heavy stone and cause a guilty feeling of guilt: "Here, even this could not cope"?
Why does not it work?
Before you conclude with yourself another "contract", remember last year's. Half of the desires never came true, and the rest did not bring you happiness ... Or even I could not find a leaflet with plans (although I was going to look into it every month). And why does this happen?
Snap to the time
Who said that the first of January is the very thing to start new business? By the middle of winter we are exhausted, and a tired person is unlikely to be able to plan life intelligently for months ahead. Listen to yourself: if there is a desire to relax from the New Year's bustle, and your body yearns for fruits and sun, do not load yourself with promises. It is better to copy force.
Turn of fate
You set a goal: this year you will definitely go to England. And if friends suddenly organize a trip to Romania, which you had no idea about in January. And that, you refuse? Or will you be sitting all week in a hotel with a sad face while your friends roam the places of Count Dracula? Life is more diverse than our ideas and at times may not fit into the plans. But that's it, and it's beautiful.
You change
Year is a long time. For twelve months you can quite reconsider your views. If possible, fulfill all your dreams and desires in the new year. Yes, now you're going to grow your hair, but what's wrong if you want to make a penalty in the summer? And in the autumn to enroll in the dance section, postponing yoga? Strike out all such points and write one new: allow yourself to be different. To live, listening to your true desires, is much more interesting than comparing with an irrelevant piece of paper!
Bunch of prohibitions
Do not eat chips, do not miss lessons, do not quarrel with friends, do not forget to learn chords for guitar ... In such an abundance, "not" is too easy to get confused. List positive words - for example, promise to love yourself more in the new year, and then you just do not want to once again "throw" harmful food into your beloved organism.
The secrets of promises
Just do not think that you can relax and do nothing at all. Plans are useful for you - they help determine your desires and opportunities. But they have their own little rules.
No: write in your online diary a list of goals for the new year. Yes: To post a list of what you achieved last year.
Secret:
There is no need to publish in the network your most cherished aspirations and dreams. This is a personal matter. Besides, imagine - if you want to change plans, then you will have to explain this to everyone who asks: is the thirteenth paragraph already executed? And you did not write all this in order to report back. But you can barely boast of their achievements. And by the way, listing what you have done, you yourself will be surprised how much good things happened this year.
No - promise yourself to read the complete collection of Dostoevsky's works, drop 10 kilograms and learn to program. Yes - lower the bar, you're not at the competition. And concretize! Clear tasks are much easier to perform than abstract ones. Plan to finish reading "Crime and Punishment", to refuse sweet buns for lunch and dinner, and also - to take in the library a textbook on computer science.
Secret:
Fracture the problem: break global business, to which you do not even know how to approach, to small, "today's". They can be taken for now even now, and the efforts will be almost imperceptible - you have to make small steps (in psychology this is called "baby steps"), but they will lead you to your big dream. And not exhausted on the road.
No - Swap lists with friends and check each other. Yes - Make a separate list of your joint plans.
Secret:
If you really want to change something in your life, you do not need control. And if you do not want, then the checks will not help. But to agree with a friend about the overall plans is. For example, promise each other not to quarrel over trifles.
No - Include the items "conquer the guy", "win the lottery". Yes - Replace them with "becoming more self-confident", "doing all the household chores".
Secret:
You make promises to yourself! Do not choose a goal that depends on the decisions of other people. You can only answer for your life. And you know what? This is enough to become happy.