Twice join the river of marriage

I had to enter the river of marriage twice, because the eternal union with the first husband did not work out? Nobody says that this happens always, but it happens very often. The first marriage usually takes place over a large (just the biggest in the world) love and forever. A loved one seems to be perfection ... and quickly descends from this pedestal to a real soil, and from there it often even to the lowlands. After a period of chopping dishes, wringing hands, sharing pans and bitter reflections on the topic "a man is a punishment from above," a moment of enlightenment sets in. You notice that cute plants are flowering around, and men are not so scary as they are and they look after you with a keen interest. You feel that you want someone to be near in joy and sorrow! However, with someone who appears side by side, we are behaving more cautiously. It is, of course, love. And getting married, which is always nice, call. But somehow you think: is this, again in dependence? It means - again to wrangle? Or maybe wait? Or maybe "somehow so"? But maybe it's worth a try-just somehow ... otherwise?

Just be careful
Double entering the river of marriage is a difficult step that it is not easy to make. From this feature of the second marriage - the greater weighting of all decisions - both positive and negative features of it emerge.

Positive:
1. Trying not to repeat previous mistakes. We no longer act on the first impulse. Medlim, we look narrowly, we measure before we cut and sew.
2. From the second husband is no longer expected eternal love and ideality in everything. There comes an understanding that everyone has their own shortcomings, and even a moral willingness to co-exist with them.
3. You already understand your own desires much better, you have your clear positions on all points of common life, and not just a vague "that everything should be like in a fairy tale." So arrange life is more logical and convenient.

Negative:
1. This suspicious gentleman may take this caution for coldness. And the woman herself somewhere in the depths of her heart wants to "burn" again, and then - what kind of rationality is this in cardiac matters, in fact!
2. Periodically there arise involuntary comparisons between "one" and "another". If the new does not hold out to the former, it becomes insulting. And if he learns about this, it becomes even more offensive to him. Again, to feel that "this may end just as it ended what seemed eternal, or even faster," may not be entirely comfortable.
3. He, most likely, also everything is already thoroughly formed and formulated. When the principles become stronger, it becomes more difficult to correct them according to the situation and to adapt to someone. Although youthful maximalism already, like, less hinders ...

Again the same
Although - it would be an extreme simplification to assert that all without exception come into a new relationship tempered and sophisticated. In this case, the second marriage would be, as a rule, the last - in the sense, after them would not be divorced again. And they, unfortunately, sometimes are not much stronger than the first ... All because "between the first and second" period of "cooling and thinking" is not all women. Often the maidens are thrown from the fire into the fire - just to forget the offender, or to annoy him, or not to be lonely. Such rash repetitions inevitably sin by repeating the same situations. It is found out that the new spouse is somehow suspiciously similar to the former - if not by a physique, then by habits, for sure! And the situation, in general, is understandable. When a change in the situation does not change us, the same methods and the same stereotypes remain ... Psychologists call this "unfinished gestalt". In practice, it can be played any number of times. True, the kink in the other direction may also not be better: analyzing too "meticulously" "what I was wrong about at that time", a lady can show such loyalty and compliance that she herself is tying herself in difficult chains ... So how do you behave , if you have to find the middle between "analyze and take into account what you do not want to repeat" and "clean the memory basket so that it does not aggravate what has already irretrievably gone"? This is the great art to enter twice into the river of marriage, that is, into a second marriage!

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In addition to the two hearts that have taken one decision, several factors and new participants appear in the second marriage:
1. Children from previous marriages. In most cases, they accept changes in the personal life of their parents with bayonets. But often this is not real hostility, but a protective-verifying reaction. To become more or less your own, but not to become a soft toy, one has to stock up with a lot of patience. Double entering the river of marriage is a responsible step for you and your loved ones.
2. The former half of your new half. May arise with revelations ("You're still working on it, I always cleaned his shoes") or with advice ("Do not cook fatty foods, it gets fat fast"). It is better to suppress such consultations: you will understand it yourself.
3. Relatives who are either happy or not happy with the update. Behave calmly until they get used to it.