Time is not in the best developed children - that's how you can characterize the situation with a child who learned to read at five, and at ten learns the basics of higher mathematics. Of course, this example is somewhat exaggerated, but with its help it is easier to understand why sometimes a child is not interested in peers and what to do about it.
At first glance, everything is wonderful - a child confidently ahead of the average abilities of his age. But children's games are special, and if a child is not interested in peers, something must be done about this.
This is how the conflict between parents and teachers of kindergarten, teachers in school begins. For their relatives, the son or daughter is the most wonderful in the world, but for some reason they do not play with peers!
What's happening?
Mothers and grandmothers are touched by an early grown-up child, but in fact it's time to save him. Understanding what to do if the child is not interested in peers is possible only if the relatives listen to the opinion of psychologists. And it unequivocally says that from the age of 5 the child passes the so-called socialization - adaptation to the collective.
For relatives, he is the best, and in the kindergarten they do not want to play with him ... And now the child is locked in his world, in which there is no place for peers. It is very important for him to be with others and be able to play. And this is directly related to the ability to comply with the rules, and defend your opinion, if the established rules are violated by someone else.
With adults, the conversation is short. Either they teach, and you have to obey, or you can "press on pity", be small, to whom everything is possible. And no matter how much adults adorn themselves with a pleasant illusion about the conversation "on equal terms", so their child only communicates with other children.
They have to not only communicate, learn to negotiate and understand social roles, to argue their thoughts and beliefs. It is in the company of peers that a child learns about himself and how to be himself among other, equal in status, children. He learns about inequality, and eventually learns to "give change", restrain insult. Be noble or act contrary to the directions of "adults and wise." That is, it acquires the most necessary skills for full inclusion in society skills.
The world of adults is not for children!
When a child is permanently with the parents, sooner or later he begins to look only at them, and bear some of their reactions. For example: "Mom likes it when I carefully collect puzzles" is transformed into "I like to collect puzzles". The child has nowhere to scoop up information about what he, besides those who are interested in the highest assessments of people - from his parents.
Yes, undoubtedly, with constant education, the child develops intellectually. He enriches his vocabulary with new words, but this development is one-sided. Age changes in the big party are concerning intellectual skills, and, probably, physical. But the emotional maturation, strong-willed, the development of communication skills on the contrary is slower and often lags behind the "smart chap".
But precisely this is the harmonizing influence of even children's conflicts. Emotionally, the child is more resistant to problems, more attentive to the rules, even if it does not realize them. He is able not only to experience his own emotions, but also empathize with others. To be happy for a friend, to grieve with him - all this is the basis of a harmonious child. And it's difficult to do this with a man who has already grown up, a well-formed person. Therefore, the question "what to do if the child is not interested in peers", psychologists unequivocally recommend to understand the reasons that encourage the little man to "go into himself."
Avoiding the harsh reality: the causes
Difficulties in trying to introduce a child into a large collective, to introduce him to "strangers" -other children-are different. First of all, these are casual psychological traumas - for example, he has (or is invented by "evil" children) certain features. So, a full girl can be teased with a pig, and so on. Naturally, the next trip to the kindergarten is doomed to failure or associated with hysterics, tears. "The shyness of the child is to blame." In his circle, he is free to show himself, and others, equal, can appreciate it.
The second option is selfishness, when it is difficult for a child to compare his desires and opportunities among equals-the same children. Egoism is an acquired trait, when children receive maximum attention in the family, become its unofficial center. And newcomers, as a rule, do not trust, they will have some "verification" in the kindergarten. Therefore, in this case it is worthwhile to help to adapt to the child - fairy tales, explanations, interesting stories. Helping him to adapt to the environment, parents create a decent "reserve" for the future.